rallyboy

nice pix Pedg, so when they said it's been a triumph - they meant the Acclaim that's balanced on a fridge. Part of me was disappointed to think that new owners might start pilling money into a new squad, then I Googled their owners again and up popped the connections to hitmen, stories of attempted murders and money laundering, the rejection by the UK's financial services authority over concerns about criminal activity and links to organised crime - well it just cheered me up! Possibly the most disturbing CV ever put before the FaPP testers? CSI Portsmouth - a forensic team sifts through a city's DNA desperately looking for any little differences, and also discovers there are no dental records.

nice to hear the Silence of the Fish has ended and we are now being treated to abusive comments about dead owners - very classy, it's like Ted's silence all over again. Just when I was feeling sorry for them they remind me of why this thread has lasted so long and why it has been so much fun. The more sensible fans have lulled us over recent months - but as soon as they have two laundered pennies to rub together it looks like the cross-eyed, lucky heather peddling ones, retarded through sister-bothering, are back. The best thing the Russians could invest would be fresh DNA - that gene pool desperately needs a top up.

fire up the washing machines, let the laundering begin! Presumably the level of investment available wll depend on how the brothels of Moscow are doing in the recession.

while the ownership becomes crystal clear, the pre-season is less so... The US tour that was promised as a free trip is once again looking anything but - so why do they keep misleading the fans? Cotterill has already enjoyed a Far East holiday and a US holiday researching this 'free tour', according to him he is also spending most of his time on the phone trying to arrange this holiday - perhaps some time looking at players or being nice to Russians would be time better spent? Commenting on the problems in the News today, honest Steve says - People have to trust me, it is nothing to do with our club, nothing at all. The man looking after this from this side of the fence is trying to get sponsorship, so we may have to contribute some money towards it But, for sure, I think it would be worthwhile. Trust you??? I think the trust went when your club shafted all the local businesses and charities mate. You promised that the shafted taxpayers wouldn't be funding your club holiday last year and then your own accounts showed that they did. Meanwhile the local businesses still await payment, well, those that haven't gone under. Maybe we will see more honesty from the club if they are taken over by a consortium allegedly linked to organised crime and money-laundering.

looks like they are hoping to triumphantly march into Fratton on June 1st - right in the middle of contract wrangles and with a couple of wages to pay before any income. Odd timing. I hope their due diligence has been better than most money-laundering concerns, if not they could catch the odd cold - I'm sure Chanrai mentioned the possibility of a points penalty and the £700K owed in back wages. The backing they give to Cotterill in the next couple of weeks should tell us how serious they are about football. Do I see the end of this thread on the horizon?....

who'd have thought that outbidding allcomers and offering vastly inflated deals could come back to bite you like this? That must be the most expensive FA Cup ever bought - how many millions did that cup run alone lose? There were the bonuses for players, and Redknapp and Storrie, that put it in the red, image rights still unpaid, and the wages are still going on as well. If you sell your soul for a 1-0 win over a bankrupt midtable championship club and give it large, don't moan about the small print when a horned bloke with a burning fork appears on the doorstep. Pay up pompey.

sorry for Huddersfield fans, their brilliant season has ended in the most depressing way. Unbelievable that their unbeaten run has delivered nothing. That said, I'm looking forward to taking maximum points off Peterborough.

just glad we aren't involved! What a relaxing day.

get off our land! Shoot their dogs.

it's gone very quiet on the Russians.......are they quietly fine-tuning their bid, or have they left the building and season tickets still need selling? They must be waiting for Barcelona's season to finish before they can start recruitment. Despite their motives and lack of funding I guess the Russians must be the last chance for a sale this summer, if they pull out Chanrai has nowhere to go - bearing that in mind, it might be worth him negotiating with them rather than making excessive demands....but I'm sure he knows what's best for the bestest.

that's got to delay the takeover.... Bosnian war crimes suspect Ratko Mladic is undergoing identity tests after being arrested in Serbia. I guess it's back to Libya now to see if they can raise the money to mount a promotion push.

while we are being graphic and toilety - I wasn't too good the other night, in the morning I said to my missus, did you hear me go to the loo in the night? it might have sounded like I was just having a p!ss, well I wasn't..... Tips? Don't risk farting in public, don't go for any bike rides, don't wear white underwear and don't cough without bracing yourself. good luck

they don't have enough players for 5-a side. Bearing in mind the loss of income from dropping out of the Prem tends to halve a club's income overnight, for any club in the championship to consider matching wages from a Prem club is ridiculous, even QPR didn't do that and they are worth billions. Blackpool's wagebill - £13M, Birmingham £38M, Wolves £30M - and they were outbid by pompey for at least one player, as were QPR. The interesting bit - Accountants reckon Birmingham's big problem is four players who were offered deals just over £1M when the club was generating massive Sky money - experts consider these to be unsustainable wages. But that's the same as the deals Cotterill and Lampitt agreed with two players while pompey were in the division below, ignoring massive debt and while trading insolvently. pompey went on to pay loan players up to £800K a year, more than Blackpool could justify despite having £40M more coming in. So the going rate for a player such as Nugent or Ben Haim is in reality about £12K-£15K - not £36K. If they agree terms with Norris at about £20K they will once again be paying bigger money than all but about ten of the 92 clubs. They are the Man City of the championship. Sort of. I don't see West Ham or Birmingham mounting a serious challenge this season unless they follow the pompey suicidal business plan. And on a point of grammar, pompey doesn't qualify for a capital P.

To mention race re Puncheon could be judged an attempt to blur the issue over his footballing shortcomings, making this thread three pages too long. I remember his last outing for us as a decent one in which he had full support from the crowd, but that doesn't fit his sob story. Early season his shooting was woeful, his defensive work for both Millwall and Blackpool was appalling, he was often seen in the corner of the frame as goals were scored - failing to track or just hiding. Holloway was so impressed with Puncheon's contribution to their freefall and relegation that rather than sending him back as surplus to requirements he immediately did everything in his power to retain him for next season..... All the managers that haven't wanted him, are they all wrong? Most fans frustration with him is that we know he can do better, we have seen glimpses of that - but he fails more often than not. To put it down to the one in fifty idiots shouting rubbish is IMO a new twist but a little far-fetched. He so got on the wrong bus! - but with the accuracy of his shooting I'm surprised he managed to board anything with less than a ten metre wide door.

so they haven't actually been paying the full wagebill this year??? Whoops, that's a little gem! Ben Haim will get his wages from the next parachute money as long as the football creditor rule doesn't get overthrown before he gets paid, so he couldn't give a sh=t. All they've done by not paying him is helped themselves to a short term loan from advanced Prem money, presumably to cope with horrific cashflow, and publically pretended to break even....ish! They could set a new record for squandering £48M and having nowt to show for it* - I can't see much parachute money making it as far as Chanrai let alone a new owner. Ben Haim has done sterling work, if he does play in August, (presuming West Ham paid him for the first half of the season) he will still have taken £2M off pompey since the last game he started for them, and if they ever pay NI and tax it will have cost them even more. £2M? - a third of their annual target for 25 players - and he earned that between games!! Think about that....it would be like us still having Rasiak on the books. And if he stays on that money they will have three players costing a total of £4M a year - don't know if I've mentioned it at all in 784 pages but the figures don't stack up! Stand up Sir Ben, go join Storrie in the statue-measuring area. *No big deal, they would only be breaking their own record.

if you wear the red and white with pride you will never be forgotten, and you did - so once a Saint always a Saint - look forward to seeing you at SMS, Happy birthday Ron - and remember that you have more than 30,000 friends in Hampshire, and many more across the country.

I can't write stuff this funny - Despite abusing local charities and bankrupting local businesses..... The club's progress in the community saw them honoured at the The News Business Excellence Awards earlier this year. Excellence in business??? Community??? Please tell us this was the national sarcasm and irony awards.

Lampitt has no choice. Forget any takeovers and get the finances under control - cut the wages to fit the budget of a season in the championship. If he does that he has nearly a year to generate the investment for the CVA (if they intend to pay it). If Ben Haim won't move you have no choice, play him and cut the wages offered to new players, play the kids (if there are any left) It is very simple - as a businessman Lampitt has to steady the ship. IF a new owner does come in you can then offer them a far more sustainable business in which they can invest. Lampitt is ignoring the debt in the traditional pompey way, like previous bosses he is allowing the manager to gamble the club's future and everything is vague. Without new investment another £20K a week signing would be insane, but still they chat to players. The club is so badly run it has gone from funny to annoying. Drop the mad US trip you nutter, tell Cotterill to quit moaning, the job is the same as it was the day he came in and he still has no money, and be honest with the few who are confused and dim. He and Cotterill love spin, they just have to say 'we are in big trouble but we are in this together, we cannot strengthen the squad we have to bring in cheap players and results will suffer, but there will be a club at the end of it for the bestest fans, and together our plucky little club will be back.' Or some other shallow siege mentality nonesense aimed at simple folk. But to plod on with a budget reliant on new money, continuing to spend a la Storrie, is absolutely bonkers. The elephant is still sat in the corner but he is now playing a trumpet and letting off fireworks.

I always thought leaving The Dell was sadder than getting relegated, on the back of Matt's incredible finale it was suddenly over, yet league failure creeps up on you in September and becomes inevitable. It's very rare to get relegated as a shock on the last day, we went down in 2005 not because we couldn't beat Man Utd but because of the ridiculous results achieved over nine months, it was no real surprise. Perhaps Birmingham, Blackburn or Wolves might get a late fright tomorrow with goal difference suddenly dropping them.... The next relegation was about survival, what happened on the pitch had by then become secondary. To think that since all that sh!t we have taken 50,000 fans to Wembley and won a promotion is amazing. We really are part of a special era. And that hilarious Hoddle gag still makes me laugh - a man who has failed in every job since leaving us would have turned the tide.... Unlikely looking at his poor track record - so maybe its time to move on from guessing who would have achieved what.

I take it they have agreed terms with the David Norris charged with the Stephen Lawrence murder? Or is that the Liam Lawrence charged with taking money under false pretences and impersonating a proper footballer? It's confusing. But by outbidding wealthier clubs they are trying to sign a player discarded by one of their competitors? If that's the standard of their signings it's like administration never happened - Norris must think it's christmas. Not rated by Ipswich, overpaid, over the hill, long contract - plenty more where he came from, keep up the good work Stevie boy! Are we going to be swooping on Brighton and Huddersfield's released list to seek out someone we can pay £20K a week? I think not - and I don't think either of those clubs will be looking at the likes of Pulis as their star signing. Sometime soon the FA should tell them, 'this business plan of yours is pure fantasy' I'm starting to feel sorry for them now, the madness continues unabated - it was funny for the first year, now it feels cruel to mock. I've lost count of the number of times they've shot themselves in the foot and reloaded - even starting off with the extra ones they must be all out of toes by now.

Someone sharper than I could tell me if this is correct... It seems there are huge legal benefits from blatantly running a club into administration. Your Business A runs at massive profit, let's say a money-laundering, organised crime connected business - your Business B, FC Skate is run into the ground. The club is unsustainable and as a result of overspending does well on the pitch, while it's failure as a business supplies the loss to balance the profit of Business A. Thus saving a load in tax on your two businesses.

that's the breach we pointed out at the time! - no doubt the Prem will now hit them with a penalty should they ever return. Then halve it if they confess. Jumping on that now is a bit like their first couple of months of last season - pointless. Find those irregularities, that's where the penalty gold is.....

Putting aside ownership and tax evasion, with pre-season starting in about five weeks, if I were Stevie boy I would be keen on gathering a team together VERY soon. I would also regard any p!ssing about in the US as a major distraction. Managers are already organising deals, the best players will be gone, and there is nothing at pompey to make a free player hold out in case they are interested - unless the madness continues. Sadly experience says that the stupid spending will carry on, I couldn't believe they carried on last year so I wouldn't be surprised if they sign someone on high wages again*. Other than one or two elderly Prem journeymen I can't see them finding enough quality to create a decent squad. The problem for the few is that they will get all excited if they sign someone like Robbie Keane or Wayne Bridge but they don't realise that it would just be Ben Haim revisited. Those sort of deals might get them 5/6 pts a season but would cripple the recovery of the business. Lawrence's wages could have generated several players from an academy over the next few years. But they made their choice and it was to pour millions of pounds into player's pockets and out of the game. Instead of young players development it has been spent on big cars, tattoos, and shiny tat. *Dave Whelan mentioned the figure of £20K a week as a Prem wagecap for solvent clubs - pompey offered two deals at that level in the championship and with massive debt - that just shows how barmy the pompey finances continue to be.

If this was a Russian/Chanrai stitch up I think they would have the flats and shops up by now. Chanrai may have got caught because he was trying to get one over on the child-maimer - just take control of the ground and the arms dealer couldn't do anything with his land. He then discovered he couldn't do anything either. or more likely, It was greed based on poor due diligence. His loan was covered by the stadium and the parachute payments and the transfer income - he couldn't lose.... On paper that sounds plausible. Lend £17M to a business with £20M of players, £15M of ground, development opportunies, a poorly managed £50M turnover, a few small debts hanging around - what could possibly go wrong? From that prospectus there is no way you couldn't get your money back. Then it turned out the transfer income was far less than estimated and already spoken for - and the parachute was redirected to the football creditors - and those small debts turned out to be HUGE. I've never classed him as the owner, he forcibly took over a business that defaulted on his loans - no one wanted it so he took over the club in an effort to get his money back - but there was no value in it to cover his loan repayments and suddenly he was caretaker of a business worth less than it's debts, and trading insolvently (another clear breach of FA rules). I believe the term for a potential buyer in these circumstances is the greater fool, and he hasn't found one yet.

no indication of the Russians pulling out anywhere, other than one random comment - that's if they were ever really in. Finally Steve Cotterill is making sense! - Without our fans behind us we would have really struggled. They weren't behind you Steve. You really struggled.