Verbal

There is no hope for HMV. Their profit forecasts for the next few years are a desperate attempt to protect the share price, just as their 'diversification' into stunts like in-store live entertainment was a desperate attempt to keep footfall levels high. Tower Records did what they do far better than them - as did Virgin. And they went ages ago. Zavvi was always a hopelessly lost cause. HMV are in for a perfect storm. The megastore model for selling DVDs and CDs is an iTunes-inspired bust. And their Waterstones outlets will go the same way - again courtesy of iTunes, with a lot of help from Amazon. The good news is we may see the return of smaller specialist shops - both for books and music. (This is already starting to happen around where I live.) Frankly, I won't be unhappy to see HMV and Waterstones go the way of the dinosaurs. And dune, PLEASE put whatever you have left over from Desire into HMV. For me.

As I say, you are an utter low life.

So you'd wish civil war, and death and destruction, on thousands and people so that you can make a cheap buck. You really are a low life.

The unseen star of Reservoir Dogs. That scene still scares the hell out of me every time I see it.

Only if you have a fascistic frame of mind. So no, not reasonable at all. I expect we're all going to be surprised who the killer is - and possibly not ANY of the current suspects.

But sometimes life's a piece of sh!t. As Eric Idle once said.

I think it's someone who fancies himself as a pub landlord.

Very sad to hear that. Still remember his terrific performance in The Usual Suspects as one of his best.

Is this the kind of humour you're talking about, hamster?

It's not really about thinking how funny you are, though is it? Deppo's immense value to this forum is as a kind of lancer of boils. (Collectors of Nazi crap are especially pustular, for example.) Someone has to do it - it's dirty work - and I'm glad it's him.

I'm sorry to hear that. She may have taken the view that the pathetic gaggle of racists, xenophobes and philistines, who lined up to take potshots at her, aren't worth the trouble. Probably right.

Really? When did that happen?

There are no League One teams in Austria.

Not just a brown shirt then?

Except for Australians. For them, the only way to find happiness is to go to Earls Court.

The years of pestilence and war. We are all doomed.

Not to respond to any more dumbass posts.

Ah, my two teams - Saints and the Socialist International.

The 1980s

Watch out for the Coen Brothers' remake of True Grit. Jeff Bridges plays the John Wayne role to a washed-up tee, and an amazing newcomer Hailee Steinfeld plays the 14-year-old girl hell bent on avenging her father's murder. One of the best scenes has her making a complete fool of a dune-like town wannabe-moneybags. Matt Damon is a moralising Texas Ranger and Josh Brolin the bad guy. Brilliant.

But I thanked you!

I had a meeting with Crozier's boss a couple of months back. After what he said, let's just say I'm delighted you're in for so much with ITV. But you know the best bit? You've just invested in my pension (or a bit of it). Um pahars too, I think. Thanks!

I have a magnet.

Welcome back um.

And?