Master Bates

Ignore the toilet roll....... 😳

Yes you will be able to at some point.

When did we hire Lee Mack?

It's free 🤯

Being streamed live on the website. Guess that'll be another £10?

That's early

Sorry if mentioned, apparently accepted €25m from Monaco for Sulemana

Sorry if mentioned, Bayer Leverkusen keen on Tella.

I know that but he's said himself he wants to leave.

People laughed at me when I mentioned Smallbone wanted to leave. It was even mentioned in the media again after I mentioned it. I don't want to have the last laugh as I'd rather he stay. Sheffield United chairman Yusuf Giansiracusa is awaiting a medical update on Smallbone before the club (Sheff Utd) launch a 2nd bid of £10m for Smallbone.

Bazunu is a parasite on a mosquito.

Adams has 2 goals in under 30mins of Championship football

Pompey captain has scored and then decided to do the Ward-Prowse golf swing celebration to take the piss out of us.

Oops 2 2

Don't we mostly lose 3 2 when Bednarek scores

How do we prepare for League 1, ask the bedwetters

Are we allowed to sing AGAIN, YOU'LL NEVER PLAY HERE AGAIN, YOU'LL NEVER PLAY HERE AGAIN, YOU'LL NEVER PLAY HERE AGAIN.... Or too soon?

I always curse it when I predict a win, so 4 0 Norwich....

2days late but still.... KID IN A SWEET SHOP, JUST A KID IN A SWEET SHOP, KID IN A SWEEEEEET SHOOOOOP, JUST A KID IN A SWEEEET SHOP

So we're signing an Argentinean?

I had a dream....... I would say a wet dream, the missus rolled over and that's how we conceived but oh no. Let's go. I had a dream, Southampton were cruising and there was a beam, Dreizdeli our new striker had scored 23, In just 11 games, he was pretty mean. We got to Wembley and won the FA Cup, Won the Championship and went back up, 101 points and 98 goals, We are Southampton, we'll never grow old.

Where you getting £100m from? Bit Coin or Monopoly? No edits were needed in this transaction.

We can't afford that you freaking idiot. Go stand in the mirror and slap yourself.

Uh????? https://www.hammers.news/transfer-news/david-sullivan-confidant-shares-big-james-ward-prowse-twist-with-claims-that-scott-mctominay-to-west-ham-transfer-is-back-on/

Cliff Richard - Mistletoe and Wine A Pomponian's a Skate, the shadow awaits, The old is past, there's no new beginnings, Dreams of living, beyond twenty one, Oh poor old Pompey, you've come undone. It's Christmas time, Valium and wine, Kids indulging in petty crime, Dad's on the crack, And my mum's off her tree, Christmas is great, When you come from Pompeeey. (Circa 1999) Fair enough, I'll order a taxi.