Lighthouse

Bearing in mind we’ve played two up top all season, that means Long, Adams and MO’B have more combined minutes on the pitch than Ings. Between them they’ve scored 7 league goals. Gives a rough but not entirely accurate representation of our other strikers over 38 games. That said, we stayed up two years in a row with that useless plank Austin as our top scorer on 6/7, so I guess it’s plausible.

That’s kind of my point, I’d rather they had to better our result by 5 goals or needed a win if we drew.

It’s as if they’ve planned on it all going tits up, like last year, only now it hasn’t they’ve decided to bring the date forward.

If only we could have managed a highly respectable 4-0 defeat at home to Leicester, we’d be looking much stronger relative to Everton, come Sunday.

Watford is a free hit for any unemployed manager. Sure, you’ll get sacked after a few months but nobody will blame you because they’re run by a bunch of fruitcakes.

Is she the one who had a civil partnership with Amanda Knox?

I believe his sister is a music teacher. She's known as 'Piano Ferry'.

Mané had 2 years left on his contract, wasn’t going to sign a new one and was only really that great for the last 2 months of his time here. Virgil was the most expensive defender in history so I don’t know what you’re on about there Tadic wanted to go to Ajax and that’s all they were able to afford. He would have underperformed had he stayed and needed a fresh start. Pelle was over 30 and we got a pretty decent price considered he wasn’t even a guaranteed starter here. Wanyama only had a year left in his contract and held all the aces when it came to his transfer.

Your minkey is breaking ze law!

Turns 31 in a couple of weeks. If he doesn’t want to sign an extension I’d probably just keep him for the final year and see how Vokins develops.

Adams and Bednarek in for Long and Vest for me.

Heading’s as much about anticipating the trajectory and positioning as it is about height, so you have to give him some credit. Chris Perry used to win a fair few headers for us and he was about 5’9". Contrast through with Darren Powell who was a good 6’2" and useless. Not that I rate Vest, just saying.

Every season when the fixtures are released, I find myself looking at the last game to see how winnable it is, should it come down to another relegation decider. Thankfully this is a relative non-event although it’d be nice to finish above Everton and their half a billion quid’s worth of dross.

If Sebastien Haller is worth £45m then Ings is worth a billion easily. Okay, maybe not but at least £75m for a proven English goalscorer.

I’ll add ‘awesome screen, awesome camera’ to the list of irritating adverts.

Ermmm... wow.

COYW!

No, somewhere which openly promotes the same values as national law and has been wilfully exporting them to other countries in the region for decades.

It seems a lot of the hate is based on their reputation in the 70s but that was 50 years ago now. Half those fans have probably pegged it. They have a large fan base and the games against United will add another scoop of spice that you wouldn’t get from the likes of Norwich, Fulham and Bournemouth. Would be nice if the odd away game made it to general sale too, although obviously our ticket office will take the minimum allocation.

Oh I see. So it’s national law in Greece, in 2020, that you have to bum a 9 year old and that in USA you have to do a drive-by on an elementary school? Or can you genuinely not tell the difference between that and places like Saudi Arabia, where you can be legally executed by the state for ‘crimes’ such as homosexuality, apostasy, blasphemy and adultery. Not that any of those values bares any resemblance to ISIS obviously.

What are you on about?

It isn’t a plan, I just think there are plenty of other countries out there who deserve to foot the bill for her, even if it isn’t legal.

You did read the bit where I said there’s no legal mechanism and we’re stuck with her, right?

The morally correct thing to do would be to dump her in Saudi or Egypt or some other state which openly promotes the Islamic extremism, which lead to the ISIS movement. Sadly there’s no legal mechanism for that so it looks like we’re stuck with her. If she is getting a private jet home, perhaps we can get Cardiff City to charter a 737Max.

Second and in next years CL, despite making the rules up as they go along... they can’t be too upset surely.