Lighthouse

Except here, which is kind of the big one as far as we're concerned. TP has scored plenty of goals in Turkey and Belgium, just like Cenk Tosun and Jozy Altidore. Their comparative records in England: GC - 10 games, 0 goals PO - 12 games, 0 goals

Even if he does, I’ve no idea why anybody thinks he’s any better than Carrillo.

TP is not going to be in the team, everyone needs to accept that and move on.

Seven ducks and counting so far too. Didn’t we get a points deduction last year for the condition of our wicket? Is there anything untoward here I wonder, or just a consequence of playing cricket in autumn.

But are any of these ancients justified?

I’ve never seen that before, Abbott bowls them out for 136, only to have it declared a n/b because the towel flew out of his pocket.

That’s not what happened at all. Most of them agreed reluctantly (but correctly) that he was at serious risk of getting them relegated and had to go.

It's the kind of game where you'd hope and expect the likes of BBD, AA, Aribo and Smallbone to have enough to get the job done.

Home it is, Stoke. That'll do.

Coming up fairly soon.

Serie A isn’t what it was twenty years ago and in any case, I’d want to see more than two league goals before drawing any conclusions. This time last year Hammers fans were raving about JWP, now he’s on loan at Forrest, likewise Schneiderlin.

I certainly wouldn’t be putting ‘Hezbollah commander’ on my life insurance application form at the moment. Maybe put ‘after dinner speaker’ or ‘influencer’, something vague and non-committal like that.

I like how you've basically said that the squad isn't the problem because 20% of our players are good enough. I disagree, I think that is a problem.

Israel are dicks! They're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And Hamas are pussies. And Hezbollah are assholes. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes - assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let Israel fuck these assholes, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

I fear that name has been damaged beyond economic repair by one man in particular.

It’s been perpetrated for many centuries, there’s no reason at all to think it’d end in our lifetime.

They’ll go in and kill any perceived threat to their state, same as they’ve done in Gaza.

Some names just sound weird when applied to children. There’s something about the sentence, "would you mind if I breastfed Grant?" Which is a little unsettling.

Yep. She saw more monarchs that Saints victories, some going that.

It used to be Goodison until a couple of years ago. I believe it’s now St Mary’s. At a rough guess I’d say Swansea was our best away ground in the PL.

A fixture we won at a similar point in the season two years ago, which saved us from the ignominy of going a whole prime minister without winning a match. I'd probably stick with the same team as Ipswich but for the love of all that's holy please don't bring on BBD to play wide left again.

If we’d been Ipswich yesterday, all the posts would have been, "typical Russball FFS, we have all the better possession and still end up needing an injury time deflection to get a point." That’s just football sometimes.

Not really, we knew when we signed him that his fitness was almost non-existent, he’s the last player you want on the pitch defending a lead like we were. I’d much rather Les was on the pitch. As for the rest of our bulk-subs, Fraser was doing very little and Stewart on for Archer hardly felt like a downgrade. We played better after those subs than we did for most of the first half, when Ipswich were all over us.

That was an absolute fluke, they somehow managed to come 9th scoring 39 goals. To put that into context, last season they scored 35 and were welded to the bottom of the table. Ramsdale, Suga, KWP, Fernandes, Dibling and Downes look like they belong in this league. That's six players in the whole squad, the rest we're just maknig do with.

Yeah, just a small problem with that.