Lighthouse

19 minutes, and here we are discussing which of our strikers is the best bet to score four goals in a season.

After a pretty ropey start to the County season, we've come good to an extent. Best of the rest behind Surrey is probably as good as we could have asked at the start of the year. Some thinking to do in recruitment now, particularly with the white ball.

Feel a bit sorry for Ali Karaki. He gets bumped off and they don’t even have decent picture of him to stick up.

All these photos are from Butlins in Minehead.

This dog’s arse wanting me to stay another day.

You don't find it the least bit strange that Hamas are the de facto rulers of a country which is the complete polar opposite of their own belief system? We've never seen an Islamist elected to Congress from Alabama, or an ISIS militia overthrow the government of Finland and yet it always seems to happen in the parts of Middle East.

So you're asking us to give a chance to the guy who's made 12 appearances without scoring (who the manager clearly doesn't fancy) because you're fed up with watching the guy who's made 6 appearances and scored twice. For the record, I'm not making a case for either. Both were very poor panic signings, I just don't get the clamour for one when he's done nothing above and beyond another player who was universally derided.

I wish I got Clubcard points for every time somebody fails to understand this. I think one of the objectives Israel have, long term is to create a power vacuum. It worked to their advantage ten years ago in the sense that ISIS never actually attacked them. They were too busy fighting Asad/Russia, the Kurds, free Iraqi forces and a whole bunch of other factions to actually care about the Jews.

Except here, which is kind of the big one as far as we're concerned. TP has scored plenty of goals in Turkey and Belgium, just like Cenk Tosun and Jozy Altidore. Their comparative records in England: GC - 10 games, 0 goals PO - 12 games, 0 goals

Even if he does, I’ve no idea why anybody thinks he’s any better than Carrillo.

TP is not going to be in the team, everyone needs to accept that and move on.

Seven ducks and counting so far too. Didn’t we get a points deduction last year for the condition of our wicket? Is there anything untoward here I wonder, or just a consequence of playing cricket in autumn.

But are any of these ancients justified?

I’ve never seen that before, Abbott bowls them out for 136, only to have it declared a n/b because the towel flew out of his pocket.

That’s not what happened at all. Most of them agreed reluctantly (but correctly) that he was at serious risk of getting them relegated and had to go.

It's the kind of game where you'd hope and expect the likes of BBD, AA, Aribo and Smallbone to have enough to get the job done.

Home it is, Stoke. That'll do.

Coming up fairly soon.

Serie A isn’t what it was twenty years ago and in any case, I’d want to see more than two league goals before drawing any conclusions. This time last year Hammers fans were raving about JWP, now he’s on loan at Forrest, likewise Schneiderlin.

I certainly wouldn’t be putting ‘Hezbollah commander’ on my life insurance application form at the moment. Maybe put ‘after dinner speaker’ or ‘influencer’, something vague and non-committal like that.

I like how you've basically said that the squad isn't the problem because 20% of our players are good enough. I disagree, I think that is a problem.

Israel are dicks! They're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And Hamas are pussies. And Hezbollah are assholes. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes - assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let Israel fuck these assholes, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

I fear that name has been damaged beyond economic repair by one man in particular.

It’s been perpetrated for many centuries, there’s no reason at all to think it’d end in our lifetime.

They’ll go in and kill any perceived threat to their state, same as they’ve done in Gaza.