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Ooh, Bearsy, it's so long! I'm going to have to finish reading another night...it's been thrilling so far... x

No, but that would be some perfect bedtime reading...where do I find it?!

Whoaa! How did we get here?! This is like a twisted version of the word game.

This is all making me laugh, but I still don't get jokes! Bloody convent schools - teach you nothing.

Only way to keep a level of decorum on this thread. Someone's got to do it. (Plus I genuinely don't get half the boy-gags).

Thanks Goatboy, good to know I've still got some friends on here.

Oh wow. I'm speechless. Might need a couple of moments to recover.......

If you had a choice - this guy, or Pelle. Who would you go for?

Have you just copied and pasted this from some website. Or are you a hairdresser? Excellent technical knowledge.

Phwoar http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/levison-wood-ex-brit-soldier-overcomes-4912013

Sw an ky is considered a swear word ??!

Just because you live in a s****y road in Birmingham, that's no reason to look down your nose at the rest of us!

Are you Wayne Rooney?

Eh? how can I argue with you Plastic if I don't understand?!!

I've not seen any nailing ?! I just took no offence at being called money orientated or brazen. Though more accurate descriptions are probably 'feisty' and 'rents a dishwasher'.

They started it!! They called me a brazen blonde!! Which is factually inaccurate!!

Apart from the fact I'm a brunette.

As with all awards, it's about timing and novelty factor. I did nothing all year, turned up in December, argued a bit with Plastic, and bingo, I won an award. Next year, no matter how much effort I put in, I know I'll fail as the novelty will have worn off. Some other girl will take my place. It will hurt, but I'll survive because I know to expect it. You need to get better at beating the system, Big Bad Bob. Being honourable isn't enough these days.

This keeps me trim... http://robbwolf.com/what-is-the-paleo-diet/

Gemmel, is that fact or guess work?

Excellent post, Bwanamakubwa. Anything around acoustics is fascinating stuff, and you clearly know what you're talking about. Which is probably why no one responded

You can follow this guy on Twitter: @SimonGleave: Biggest declines compared to equivalent fixtures last season: Everton -20, Liverpool -16, Palace -13, West Brom -8: http://t.co/2T3hxs93Ws

That's the thing for me - if those near missed had gone in he'd be top of the goal scoring league by now [note for the pedants, I've not checked this answer for accuracy]. It's that close. Not sure if this is something that has happened all his career, or if the margins are just so much more narrow in the PL, but I don't think I've seen anyone hit the woodwork so frequently. I don't care how old he is, I think he'll get better for us...and score more goals.

PS any advice on how his name is pronounced?

Ah - nice defence of the lad from Koeman. Good luck!