Muppet Show Independence Referendum Poll

[Tokyo-Saint]

Whenever people look at and consider the issues, it becomes clear to them that TMS can, should and must become an independent forum.

 

Independence is TMS's one opportunity to realise a vision of a fairer, more progressive forum or not, with your yes vote I (as democratically elected MVP 2014) can promise:

 

• No more main board flushes
  
• Mods allowed to visit peacefull but an end to threads getting deleted without representation (RIP Wanyama has signed thread)
  
• The return of Justice Mike and Spud Gun
  
• The legalization of posting bare breasts
  
• Soft Porn Fridays
  
• limit to one word game per page
  
• reduction of yearly fee to £4.99 (extra 1p coming out of bear's paypal account)
  
• 
  

 

Poll please mods - This is our once in a generation opportunity at freedom!

 

[Spudders]

I once suggested to Steve & Baj that the muppet show was split out as a 'linked' separate forum (a kind of sister forum if you will), meaning that we could be muppets without fear of besmirching the good name of saintsweb, so that if forum members were banned from the main saintsweb forum, they could still use the sister forum. As you can tell, this great idea was not taken up (probably because I contacted them via PM and didn't put it in the official site suggestions area, so my bad!!!)

[CB Saint]

Ressurrect this verse of the National anthem

 

Lord,grant that Marshal Wade,

May by thy mighty aid,

Victory bring.

May he sedition hush,

and like a torrent rush,

Rebellious Scots to crush,

God save The Queen.

[Tokyo-Saint]

This is typical Spudders, you have the answer but the powers that be in Croydon just ignore us and fob us off with devolution light and more flushes.

 

We need a proper referendum on this issue!

 

[Spudders]

Could Miltonroader be reinstated as our president in a new independent forum?

[Spudders]

[Tokyo-Saint]

Addition to the manifesto -

 

All political prisoners will be reinstated, except Dune and Barry who will only be allowed to post weekends when I am not here.

[Spudders]

Another point to add to the manifesto -

All muppet statuses will be changes from 'Full Member' and 'Registered user' and replaced with individual bespoke statuses (such as bed wetter, peadobear)

[pap]

I'd like to see this referendum fail for these reasons:-

 

1) Tokes is a c**t and I'm the sort of arsehole that takes pleasure in seeing relative strangers fail, particularly if it looks like they've done pretty well

2) My job depends on the Muppet Show being part of SaintsWeb.

 

 

Mind you, I am fed up with subsidising the Muppet Show with my subscription fee. So maybe you can all f**k off, me included.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Pap is now the Alistair Darling here, leader of the No campaign. People of the muppet show pay no attention, this is just the first member of the lounge to come in here and tell us to vote 'NO', there will be many more as the vote draws closer (come on mods!). Pay no attention to the poison dwarf - Vote yes!

 

[badgerx16]

Are you really asking for independence, or a form of 'devo max' ? Are you actually in a position to arbitrarily promise the discounted membership fee in return for a YES vote, or will this in reality lead to double charging - £5 TSW pounds for the main board and £4.99 TMS pounds ( without the support of full monetary union ) for the secessionist side ?

Also, what is your policy on immigration - what is your stance or allowing skates to sign up ?

[Tokyo-Saint]

I'm up for a pet skate tbh, just one or two. Every joke needs a punch line and more often than not, they are it. Get that toy shop worker back for a bit. Obviously they have to carry ID, wear an upside down moon with a star on their arm or something. We don't want them integrating too much.

 

As for the finances, Steve Grant has my full permission to use Bear's paypal account to cover any shortage in the deficit - keep a fiver for yourself SG!

[pap]

Pap is now the Alistair Darling here, leader of the No campaign. People of the muppet show pay no attention, this is just the first member of the lounge to come in here and tell us to vote 'NO', there will be many more as the vote draws closer (come on mods!). Pay no attention to the poison dwarf - Vote yes!

 

 

Darling? Quiet, you dry separatist lunch.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Please, Darling. There are ladies present.

[pap]

Toke's mates on the Separatist Council.

 

 

Well, I say mates. He has to send them a cheque for 50,000 creds every month or they pretend not to know him.

[Bearsy]

i like ur manifesto tokyos, but i think that one wordgame per page is too much, surely? I would suggest reducing this by one.

 

Freedom!

[Tokyo-Saint]

For your vote bear, I will agree to that.

[Bearsy]

my other amendment is to increase subscription to £10, with the additional £5 credited to bearsy paypal account pls

[Spudders]

Do we have to limit it to just one no bra day?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Case by case basis I think Spud. This should be what the mods keep themselves busy doing, not flushing Turk's mainboard crap onto here.

 

 

 

VOTE YES!

[Spudders]

It appears there's already a second one in Octobra

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

My mate got caught by his mrs fucking her bra in the bathroom. Strange thing to do in the first place but to do it and not lock the bathroom door is just mental.

[Spudders]

Maybe he meant her bro?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Nah, bra and pants. There must be a word for that kind of wank, a laugerank or something. Bletch, you able to help?

[saintbletch]

Nah, bra and pants. There must be a word for that kind of wank, a laugerank or something. Bletch, you able to help?

 

No.

 

What's more, I hereby announce my intention to stand against Tokyo-Saint - most vacuous prick 2013.

 

I plan to stand on the ticket of Making TMS (slightly) Better (than Toke would):

 

• No more main board flushes - in fact we will flush threads to the main bored if they are too sensible for here
  
• The return of Justice Mike and Spud Gun - in fact they will return and Tokyo-Saint will be banned
  
• The legalization of posting bare breasts - in fact not only will this be legalised, it will be compulsory to post bare breasts in iTMS after each contribution
  
• Soft Porn Fridays - in fact every day will henceforth be known as Soft Porn Friday
  
• limit to one word game per page - in fact all word game threads will be banned. I promise. You can trust me.
  
• reduction of yearly fee to £4.99 (extra 1p coming out of bear's paypal account) - in fact the yearly fee will be abolished and I will personally pay each member £5 / day for posting. (I plan to fund this by selling the oil from my car's engine, and before you tell me it will quickly run out - I've heard all those scare stories before)
  
• Mods allowed to visit peacefull but an end to threads getting deleted without representation (RIP Wanyama has signed thread) - (I literally have no idea what this means, but as I'm committed to this pun of taking Toke's commitments and bettering them...) - in fact we will carry out commando raids to delete Lounge threads.
  

Vote Bletch!

 

Remember - we're better together and better without Tokyo-Saint.

 

Vote Bletch!

 

Remember - Tokyo-Saint is just an anagram of:

Toasty Oink and

A Tin Skot, yo and

A Skot Nit, yo and

A Too Stinky and the unbelievably accurate

Is a Kontt, yo* (*when said in a heavy Scotttch accent).

*I meant what I said about the word games, voters.

 

Vote Bletch!

 

Remember - babies love Bletch, but Toke LOVES babies.

 

 

(Bletch kissing baby)

 

(Toke kissing baby)

 

Vote Bletch.

 

Remember Tokyo-Saint is a kontt, yo as well as being a too stinky.

 

(see 3rd bullet point above)

[Tokyo-Saint]

I must say I am tempted to vote bletch. However you thick wordsmith this isn't the general erection yet, this is the freedom or not movement. It is not about people it is just a simple yes or no vote. Once we are free we can fight over the bones of what is left. Until that day it is a simple YES from me.

[Spudders]

[*]The return of Justice Mike and Spud Gun - in fact they will return and Tokyo-Saint will be banned

Who?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Before your time, complete knob.

[Spudders]

Ah I can understand why bletch wants him back then, what with his love of knobs

[Tokyo-Saint]

Can we start the rep points again plse Spudders? Cause you are on plus 10 already.

[Spudders]

Yeah I might recommence my campaign for a 'like' button as well. I'd have liked your post, if only the forum had the functionality!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Once we are an independent forum, everyone but Bletch will have a like button under their posts so other posters can say how great bear is etc.

[saintbletch]

I must say I am tempted to vote bletch. However you thick wordsmith this isn't the general erection yet, this is the freedom or not movement. It is not about people it is just a simple yes or no vote. Once we are free we can fight over the bones of what is left. Until that day it is a simple YES from me.

 

I don't want to come across as a pedant here Toke, but....

 

Well, if it's not an election then you surely made an error in your opening post....

 

...I (as democratically elected MVP 2014)...

 

Now you were either throwing your hat into the ring for the next MVP elections, or you've forgotten in which year you were voted Most Vacuous Prick.

 

In your OP you claimed to be the 2014 Most Vacuous Prick, whereas in fact you fixed the voting in 2013 so that you were voted 2013 Most Vacuous Prick. I'm not saying that you're not the Most Vacuous Prick of 2014; you probably are. In fact I'm sure you are, and I'm also sure that you will continue be the Most Vacuous Prick each year for the rest of time. I'm simply stating that you haven't managed to fix the 2014 vote. Yet.

 

And that brings me on to another topic. Is Bear, that hanging chad of a **** going to be running the vote for MVP again this year? What a funning debacle that was.

 

Last year, I approached the MVP vote with integrity and decorum, only to find that The Bear had implemented a voting system that allowed you both to vote for yourselves multiple times.

 

When I saw the Chuckle Brothers in a #1 and #2, I knew it was fixed. I mean who votes for you two when I'm on the ticket? (rhet.)

 

I think you'll find (word puns > (illiterate sex talk + labrador pictures)).

 

How can an iTMS electorate have faith that their vote will count for something in iTMS MVP 2014?

 

Ah I can understand why bletch wants him back then, what with his love of knobs

 

Spud gun wasn't a **** Spudders, he was a complete ****. And whilst I don't really like ****, I really do love a bit of ****.

 

Toke's a ****.

[Spudders]

^^^ I'd like this post if the forum had the functionality, +1 reps

[Tokyo-Saint]

Sorry Spudders, bletch can't receive rep points or likes on account of him actually being a **** from the lounge who just got lost and ended up here.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Last year, I approached the MVP vote with integrity and decorum,

 

School boy error there beltch and you have the gaul to call others thick? This was probably the most stupid action of 2013 or 2014 or whatever. Don't you know how elections work? Don't you remember Florida? You just keep doing recounts till you get the result you wanted.

[tpbury]

I'm a floater, but would be happy to cast my vote for any of the candidates who campaign for (tasteful) full frontal. Let me know your a/c details (of the Virgn Island company in which you wish to hide donations).

[saintbletch]

School boy error there beltch and you have the gaul to call others thick? This was probably the most stupid action of 2013 or 2014 or whatever. Don't you know how elections work? Don't you remember Florida? You just keep doing recounts till you get the result you wanted.

 

I suppose it was a little naive to expect you and the Bear to play fair.

 

But be warned Toke, 2014 is my year! I'm going to use any means at my disposal to win MVP 2014. (including becoming less boring, being less pedantic and posting more breasts (female)).

 

BTW you inadvertently spelled my name incorrectly. And I think schoolboy is one word, whereas school boy sounds like an exasperation.

 

Oh, and without the slightest hint of irony you go on to suggest that in calling others "thick" (which I don't think I did anyway), I must be in possession of a person from an ancient region of Europe, which today is mostly modern-day France.

 

I've checked, and I really don't think I have the Gaul.

 

You thick Scotch ****.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Put him down for a rep point for the use of the drink scotch, perfectly done. I hope it was deliberate Dumnorix?

[badgerx16]

How would an independent TMS affect Jamie's ( Batman/DellDays ) employment at his hush hush ex-serviceman's car wash just off Trafalgar Square ?

[Halo Stickman]

[*]limit to one word game per page - in fact all word game threads will be banned. I promise. You can trust me.

 

Subterfuge and doublespeak, eh Agent Bletch?

 

I see you’re still practising the dark arts acquired during your WWII Bletchley Park days, when, unlike your more esteemed colleagues who did more than most to win the war by good honest code-breaking and number crunching, you single-handedly set about boring the enemy – not to mention your own side – into submission with a baffling bombardment of word bubbles, word clouds, word associations, word non-associations, words hilarious, words non-hilarious, word limericks, word zeitgeists, word anagrams, word puzzles, word searches … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Now, let’s examine the WWII record of the other candidate: Tokyo-Saint.

 

Erm …

 

This contest is too close to call.

[notnowcato]

Subterfuge and doublespeak, eh Agent Bletch?

 

I see you’re still practising the dark arts acquired during your WWII Bletchley Park days, when, unlike your more esteemed colleagues who did more than most to win the war by good honest code-breaking and number crunching, you single-handedly set about boring the enemy – not to mention your own side – into submission with a baffling bombardment of word bubbles, word clouds, word associations, word non-associations, words hilarious, words non-hilarious, word limericks, word zeitgeists, word anagrams, word puzzles, word searches … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Now, let’s examine the WWII record of the other candidate: Tokyo-Saint.

 

Erm …

 

This contest is too close to call.

 

That's a lot of erotic word play for Bletch to handle - he'll probably be stroking his ego for sometime following that bombardment of smut.

[saintbletch]

Subterfuge and doublespeak, eh Agent Bletch?

 

I see you’re still practising the dark arts acquired during your WWII Bletchley Park days, when, unlike your more esteemed colleagues who did more than most to win the war by good honest code-breaking and number crunching, you single-handedly set about boring the enemy – not to mention your own side – into submission with a baffling bombardment of word bubbles, word clouds, word associations, word non-associations, words hilarious, words non-hilarious, word limericks, word zeitgeists, word anagrams, word puzzles, word searches … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Now, let’s examine the WWII record of the other candidate: Tokyo-Saint.

 

Erm …

 

This contest is too close to call.

 

A point well made Halo. If I may, I might just precis your post for those of limited attention span.

 

Bletch might be boring, but Toke bombed Pearl Harbour.

 

BTW talking of Bletchley Park, oh and at this point voters, sorry I mean fellow posters, you have my permission to activate your Bletch-boredom blocker.

 

Talking of Bletchley Park, Halo. Were you around on here when The Bear decided that he'd communicate with his sycophants by using code?

 

Bear, Toke and (I think) Spudders (he was Spudyouhate then) decided to employ a 'complex' and some might say enigmatic code to keep secret their juvenile prattlings from other posters. I think the objective was to get around The Man's swear filter.

 

Oh, how clever they were. But Toke had put Bear in charge of encryption; cast him as the Alan Turing of the group if you will. It turned out that Bear was more Carr than Turing, so it took the Bletch brain all of about 10 minutes to decipher it and start chatting with them in their own code.

 

It was my finest hour - in that it made me look immensely clever, and as we all know that is my modus operandi.

 

But I can't really take the credit for others' stupidity, because "Chatty Bear" had used a simple Caesar cipher with a relatively small shift.

 

I mean as we all know, you still have the same alphabetic frequency distribution of 'typical' English, and even taking into account that words like yo, whatever, gaul and whatever would be given a greater prominence, it was the sort of thing I used to set for my children before they could speak.

 

If he'd spent another 5 minutes selecting a better cipher, it would have been all but impenetrable. Imagine how many word games we could have in private without their interruptions.

Edited 16 September, 2014 by saintbletch
Well, somewhat embarrassing I misspelt a werd

[saintbletch]

That's a lot of erotic word play for Bletch to handle - he'll probably be stroking his ego for sometime following that bombardment of smut.

 

You ain't lying Canton Woot.

 

I think I've just "went".

[Tokyo-Saint]

Lol, remember I made the reference to bletch and bletchly park and it went right over beltchy park's head.

 

When are the mods going to do this Poll? I am on holiday next week and have some smear tactics to use against bletch (Pap does his own smearing). If the mods don't do a poll soon, I'll have to get bear to organise one and we all know how that ends!

[Bearsy]

My polls are quality! Alright, they only actually count the first 100 votes but that's cos i operate a first past the post system ffs!

[Halo Stickman]

Imagine how many word games we could have in private without their interruptions.

 

Oh Bletch, you little temptress – you know how win over the voters; well, this particular voter anyway.

[saintbletch]

Lol, remember I made the reference to bletch and bletchly park and it went right over beltchy park's head.

 

When are the mods going to do this Poll? I am on holiday next week and have some smear tactics to use against bletch (Pap does his own smearing). If the mods don't do a poll soon, I'll have to get bear to organise one and we all know how that ends!

 

You just haven't put in the hours this year Toke.

 

Voters, I urge you to look at the candidates carefully. Toke's gone all corporate this year, and now he drops this bombshell that he is taking holiday in the run-up to the erection! And the Bear? Well he's sold his soul to The Man.

 

Actually Toke, we both know that Bear will win again. He gets the halo-effect from his work in "the other place". Perhaps we could consider a coalition? Toke Bletch! (that's a party name BTW, not an invitation to fellate!)

 

I bet the Bear is sitting in a dark red, dimpled leather chair in the gentlemen's club that is The Main Board, sipping tizer with The Man, as everyone fawns over him with their platitudinous plaudits...

 

Oh Bear, you're so funny

 

Oh Bear, I'd pay my fiver just so I could crawl over broken glass and razorblades to throw stones at your shit

 

Oh Bear, would you mind signing this for me? Yes, I know it's my penis, but if you hold it for a minute or so longer you'll be able to fit your middle name in

 

It's vomit-inducing, but fellow Muppets, fellow voters, what has the Bear done for us lately? I mean, fifty shades was years ago now. He hasn't even produced a (half-finished) web site to filter Saints-related news for you.

 

You know where to put your ex.

 

Toke's a ****.

[Tokyo-Saint]

My polls are quality! Alright, they only actually count the first 100 votes but that's cos i operate a first past the post system ffs!

 

Exactly, what's bletch moaning about? He was first bore past the post. This is something he should be proud of!

[Tokyo-Saint]

You just haven't put in the hours this year Toke.

 

Voters, I urge you to look at the candidates carefully. Toke's gone all corporate this year, and now he drops this bombshell that he is taking holiday in the run-up to the erection! And the Bear? Well he's sold his soul to The Man.

 

Actually Toke, we both know that Bear will win again. He gets the halo-effect from his work in "the other place". Perhaps we could consider a coalition? Toke Bletch! (that's a party name BTW, not an invitation to fellate!)

 

I bet the Bear is sitting in a dark red, dimpled leather chair in the gentlemen's club that is The Main Board, sipping tizer with The Man, as everyone fawns over him with their platitudinous plaudits...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's vomit-inducing, but fellow Muppets, fellow voters, what has the Bear done for us lately? I mean, fifty shades was years ago now. He hasn't even produced a (half-finished) web site to filter Saints-related news for you.

 

You know where to put your ex.

 

Toke's a ****.

 

Ok I'm in! You can have two word games and the rest is mine! I was just about to go for the dirty tricks campaign and ask you to confirm to the voters the exact PO postcode you are from. However, I'll keep that in the back pocket for the revolution after the revolution.