The9

I'm still waiting for him to "warn" the Football League about the possibility of us fixing a draw via gentleman's agreement, as suggested by some melon on KUMB earlier this week.

Actually... http://www.sportsclubstats.com/England/ChampionshipLeague.html Southampton vs Reading Saints Win Chance wins title / Promoted Southampton 88.4 / 99.7 Reading 11.1 / 90.8 West Ham 0.4 / 34.5 Draw Chance wins title / Promoted Southampton 59.2 / 97.7 Reading 39.5 / 95.5 West Ham 1.3 / 31.8 Reading Win Chance wins title / Promoted Southampton 23.3 / 94.8 Reading 76.1 / 99.1 West Ham 0.7 / 31.1 According to those stats, a Saints win gives West Ham a 34.5% chance of going up, the draw leaves them with a 31.8% chance, and a Reading win reduces that likelihood even further, to 31.1%. So actually, the draw's not even the worst result for them. Nevertheless, the worst case scenario for West Ham still leaves them with a 31.1% better chance of promotion than you've claimed (though it looks poor compared to Saints' "worst case" scenario of 94.8% and Reading's of 90.8% even if those sides lose). However, a West Ham defeat to Brighton leaves them with only a 26.7% chance of promotion (without considering the Saints v Reading unknown).

I'd take Thomas Ince for the right side in a second, he's been consistently successful for a few months now, has become a regular for Blackpool with assists and goals.

HCDAJFU SCORECARD : An overall score of 7 is an absolute minimum for serious discussion. Personal Profile(Under 27) Y (No reported attitude problems) Y Availability(Not playing regularly for a team in Prem top 4 / Champions League QF) Y (Out of contract/On loan) Y (Doesn't have unrealistic wage demands) Maybe? (Not injury prone) Y Suitability(Experience in League we'll be in / highly rated in the division lower) N (Obvious improvement on current player in this position) Dunno Other Factors(Not linked with Saints in the media) N (Not ridiculously overpriced) Y (Not being linked with top 4 sides) N Points off for having any of the following : Negatives (Linked with the club in the red-top print media) N (Premier League has-been - say fewer than 10 starts in any of the last 3 seasons at that level whilst at a Prem club) Y (but a bit harsh so score 0.5) (Ex-Saints) N (Rumoured Saints fan) N SCORE : P 2 A 3.5 S 0.5 O 1 N -0.5 Total 6.5 - very nearly worth a HCDAJFU - but his potential wage demands and a lack of known quality damage his rating to just below the threshold.

If someone could find me a -4 I'd be amused... I'm thinking Anthony Pulis could be in with a shout, if only his media profile was higher.

Let's try Sigurdsson : Personal Profile(Under 27) Y (No reported attitude problems) Y Availability(Not playing regularly for a team in Prem top 4 / Champions League QF) Y (Out of contract) Y (Doesn't have unrealistic wage demands) Y (Not injury prone) Y Suitability(Experience in League we'll be in / highly rated in the division lower) Y (Obvious improvement on current player in this position) Y Other Factors(Not linked with Saints in the media) Y (Not ridiculously overpriced) Dunno (Not being linked with top 4 sides) Maybe? Points off for having any of the following : Negatives (Linked with the club in the red-top print media) N (Premier League has-been - say fewer than 10 starts in any of the last 3 seasons at that level whilst at a Prem club) N (Ex-Saints) N (Rumoured Saints fan) N An overall score of 7 is an absolute minimum for serious discussion. Sigurdsson scores Personal 2 Availability 4 Suitability 2 Other 2 Negatives -0 Total 10 out of 11, a definite HCDAJFU.

Applying these to Hammill : Personal Profile (Under 27) Y (No reported attitude problems) Y Availability(Not playing regularly for a team in Prem top 4 / Champions League QF) Y (Out of contract) Is he? (Doesn't have unrealistic wage demands) Y (Not injury prone) N Suitability(Experience in League we'll be in / highly rated in the division lower) Y (Obvious improvement on current player in this position) N Other Factors(Not linked with Saints in the media) N (Not ridiculously overpriced) Y (Not being linked with top 4 sides) Y Negatives (Linked with the club in the red-top print media) Y (Premier League has-been - say fewer than 10 starts in any of the last 3 seasons at that level whilst at a Prem club) Y (Ex-Saints) Y (Rumoured Saints fan) N An overall score of 7 is an absolute minimum for serious discussion. Hammill gets : Personal 2 Availability 2.5 Suitability 1 Other 2 Negatives -3 For an overall HCDAJFU of 4.5 - nowhere near the 7 point cut off for serious consideration, though significantly harmed by the "Lazy Journo" factor.

I should also start a "definitely not signing" list - if a player only has any of these it counts against their score (the last two basically due to the "Lazy Journalism Factor". (Linked with the club in the red-top print media) (Premier League has-been - say fewer than 10 starts in any of the last 3 seasons at that level whilst at a Prem club) (Ex-Saints) (Rumoured Saints fan)

I'm going to start a checklist to debunk all these rumours, and I shall call it the HCDAJFU SCORECARD : Personal Profile(Under 27) (No reported attitude problems) Availability(Not playing regularly for a team in Prem top 4 / Champions League QF) (Out of contract) (Doesn't have unrealistic wage demands) (Not injury prone) Suitability(Experience in League we'll be in / highly rated in the division lower) (Obvious improvement on current player in this position) Other Factors(Not linked with Saints in the media) (Not ridiculously overpriced) (Not being linked with top 4 sides) 11 categories, there I reckon you need at least 8 of these to even be a target. Points off for having any of the following : Negatives (Linked with the club in the red-top print media) (Premier League has-been - say fewer than 10 starts in any of the last 3 seasons at that level whilst at a Prem club) (Ex-Saints) (Rumoured Saints fan) An overall score of 7 is an absolute minimum for serious discussion.

Morrissey losers.

But we all know that he actually says nothing at all. In fact I don't remember him ever saying anything about being the best. Debrief, draw a blue line, go again, control controllables, be on a bus, yes. Nothing about being the best. He certainly didn't say we were aiming for above 6th... ...and frankly it makes absolutely no difference what the manager is saying to the media anyway provided it's not a negative attack on a player, for instance.

Yeah, Coventry is nearer to Southampton, and quicker to get to. I quite liked the "Hampton Derbies" when we played Northampton recently...

I would say there are always people trying to stretch the boundaries... some bimmer on Sky Sports News stupidly called Fleetwood (north of Blackpool) v Wrexham (north Wales) "local rivals" last night. 92 miles apart - next to each other in the Conference table though.

Derby etymology, as defined by rsssf.com and their anal stat fiends : http://www.rsssf.com/rssbest/whysoccer.html The term "derby" is derived from the annual match played in Derby (pronounced "Darby") between the parishes of St. Peter's and All Saints on Shrove Tuesday. Unfortunately, however, it was last contested on Shrove Tuesday in 1846. True derbies are indeed played intra city, town or village (hamlet, etc) and _not_ inter city, town, etc. Basically, matches like Everton v Liverpool, Sheff U v Sheff Weds, Port Vale v Stoke and Man U v Man C are derbies, Saints v Reading (or Skate Cheats for that matter) are not. But that's by the narrowest definition of the term - current usage means any two teams near each other can contest a derby, provided there's some common ground (South Coast, South Wales, East Anglia, etc.). Proximity to other nearby clubs is a major factor in legitimacy, Cardiff and Swansea are 40 miles apart, could you imagine Wigan trying to claim a "derby" rivalry with Leeds ?

Liiiiiiike Billy Sharp for instance ? All over the media as turning us down in the summer, then linked in the press 8 days before he signed (scroll down here : http://www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/sport/football/rovers/transfer_window_centre_king_billy_becomes_a_saint_1_4129925)

What "minor breach of protocol" are you referring to ?

Still 100 times classier than Allen, based on the stuff on Twitter I've seen reposted...

They really know nothing about our recruitment policy, do they ?

Has NO-ONE picked up on Sibley's hilarious little comment in that article ? “Understandably for such a high profile fixture (not only a local derby, but also a top vs second from bottom of the table clash), we had a large number of requests for accreditation, and as is the case in such circumstances, had to limit organisations to a set number of reporters/photographers in order to accommodate everyone fairly,” he said. Cos, you know, those "top v second bottom" clashes are always heavily subscribed, and it definitely wasn't just him having a sly dig about Skate Cheats' crappy league position.

I don't think there's any "right" way to support at football, and think anyone who thinks there is, is a mental.

A bunch of my footy mates have been singing it at pretty much every match they go to for about the last 5 years. So, hang around about 10 rows from the front of Block 42 if you fancy a bit of Woolston Ferry...

What's there to explain ? Poznan fans didn't turn their backs because the team is playing badly, they turned their backs because it's a unique way of supporting their team. Or WAS a unique way of supporting their team. FWIW they didn't do it at 2-1 up in the first leg (there's another video somewhere), but they are quite into their choreography generally : http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=Xg543B31tSQ

He's been a big fan so far this season despite his obvious tendencies.

1) Dunno 2) Hell no. 3) Hell no again, we need at least one, maybe 2 Prem quality strikers and at least 4 strikers to choose from, Barnard definitely isn't one of them. 4) So you're dropping Lallana - isn't Lee one of them anyway ? 5) Dunno 6) Markus and Le Tiss already have lounges, I'm fine with the stand names 7) When we win the Premier League and not before

You are incorrect.