Mao Cap

And the real business of the annual St. George's Day thread begins! Have a good day folks, I'm going to bed and then going to work so I won't be able to get pished on English ale like a true patriot

Ta...was so pleased with my analogy that I put up my first FB status in months as "Oceana is at war with the Lib Dems. Oceana has always been at war with the Lib Dems." I'm a right sad bastard sometimes. That's even weaker! Cherry-picked quotes from a statement made a few years ago about two German call centre workers in Swindon getting dog's abuse at work and taking it to court. Scroll down to the bottom: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/sun-censored-poll-that-showed-support-for-lib-dems-1951940.html If anything, the lack of substance behind the Clegg smears are just making him look pretty straight, if that's all the nation's best muck-rakers can come up with. I just hope he doesn't take one of his kids to see a paediatrician over the next couple of weeks, or the headlines will scream "NICK CLEGG HANDS KID OVER TO PAEDO".

Which they happened to make a big deal of not at the time, but a week after a substantial rise in the Liberals' popularity? Hmm, wonder why that was? A little weak to fly next to all the genuine skullduggery going on leading up to the expenses scandal, but the only bit of "dirt" a panicking right has to throw, perhaps? Not that I'm knocking it as politics, mind (dirty game and all that). It could work, though I'd repeat my earlier point that the frenzied abuse of Clegg from the conservative media may well turn out to be counter-productive.

This frantic scramble by the Tory press to adjust to this sudden new enemy in their midst is funny as f*ck reminds me of that bit in 1984 when Oceana changes its enemy and no-one has a clue what to do! The next fortnight will see a super-intensive barrage of Clegg-hate and hasty dirt-digging like the above story, with the previous villain Brown getting a comparatively easy ride. In the short term this may well have a bit of an effect and play a part in seeing the Tories through, but I've got an idea it may backfire in the long term. The massive amount of attention being paid to the Lib Dems is only making them seem more and more electable; if I was in the Tory leadership (and thank the Lord I ain't) I'd have a quiet word with my press baron mates and tell them to STFU and go back to the dismissive "Well they can say what they want 'cos they'll never get in, blah blah blah" type coverage.

Some folk in your political tradition making tits of themselves at a meeting in 1965. Watch for Denis Healey belting Colin Jordan (balding guy in the light raincoat) when he tries to get on the stage about 1:20, lol.

Chipmunk, I think - Been around for years, still cracks me up though!

The f*ck is this sh*t? The gif isn't moving and my joke is ruined point still stands, though.

Someone in this election... HAS A DAD WHO WORKS FOR A BANK!!! Seriously, there's no need for Tories to do such pathetic straw-clutching just yet. Yeah Clegg won on Thursday, but he didn't pwn Cameron that hard.

But aren't the PC Brigade all poncey lefty Guardianista pussies? Why are the freedom-loving, call a spade-a-spade tabloids having a pop at Boyle, who as I mentioned is employed by their enemy the BBC? Seems to me like the right gets offended on behalf of others and makes a fuss when it suits them just as much as those on the left, but through their dominance of the news media has managed to characterise it as an exclsuively "lefty" thing...

Brown did better than most floating voters were probably expecting, though the X Factor reference at the end was a true facepalm moment. Cameron did OK but continues to come across as a slick PR-man lightweight (after all, that's what he is). Clegg won the night, but spent too much of his time giving grief to the other two parties, made him look small-time. And it's yet to be seen how much of an effect these debates will have on the vote.

People are more interested than average in my office; wading through vast amounts of newspaper coverage from papers of all political shades means that you have to take at least a bit of an interest in the election or go completely insane. Whether this will translate into more of us turning out to vote than average is anyone's guess though - the more you see the amount of skewed horsesh*t spouted about politics from tabloid and broadsheet alike, the more cynical you get. On the other hand, you do end up very informed and without most peoples' 1-D red/blue worldview - think that's why we've got quite a few Lib Dems.

What's your take on that, Dune? Muslim loons v. PC Brigade? They're on the same side, right? I'm interested in a fash viewpoint because the incident must be a bit confusing for you lot

See above post. What does the "PC Brigade" actually even mean, when people can use it to refer to the same tabloids who spend all their time ranting about "PC"?

The awkward wording of the title is funnier. Has a bit of an Engrish "All your base are belong to us" feel about it

Shameful, even though the facts have no doubt still been skewed to make the case seem worse yet. Still, I read a couple of months ago that people in the UK claim only £1 of benefits out of every £16 that they're entitled to. Office of National Statistics I think, though I might be wrong. Not really in line with popular imaginings of half the country sitting on their arses milking the silly commie welfare state for all its worth, but since people enjoy frothing at the mouth they ignore such national statistics in favour of individual cases dredged up by the right-wing press.

Taking the pish out of the mentally ill is kind of low because they can't have a go back, but that's just rather unfunny shock humour (as practised by Boyle, Carr and their ilk) for you. If he has crossed a line and ****ed you off then quietly stop watching him, proclaiming how offended you are only enhances his popularity with other as a badass maverick standing up to the forces of censorship, rather than a mediocre comedian attempting to "push the boundaries" by portraying himself as a bit of a c*nt. But what's more interesting about this thread is the "PC Brigade" comments. The main people publicising this storm in a teacup are the mid-market tabloids (Mail/Express, pretty much the polar opposite to the PC Brigade, no? Was there outraged articles in the Guardian about this affair, because I must have missed them?) who have been waiting to get Boyle into hot water ever since he made some crap joke about the Queen having "bats in her pussy" or some such shortly after the Ross/Brand thing. Said tabloids couldn't care less about that joke or indeed this one, but they do care about the fact that Boyle is a popular part of a popular Friday night show on the BBC. If enough of a fuss is kicked up it will actually probably enhance Boyle's stand-up career but get him kicked off Mock the Week. Presumably the audience won't care for his replacement as much, the show's ratings will go downhill, and aforementioned tabloids will have won a little battle in the war against their mortal enemy, the (repulsively PC, apparently) BBC. So I think the beardy-vegan-pacifist-whiny-sandal wearing-lentil eating types some of youse imagine are doing the complaining should be let off the hook...it's just a media thing

Before not during, to be fair to said horrible rag. Kind of had to tone down the fascism in the late 30s - only because a lot of its advertisers were Jewish and threatened to withdraw their business, mind.

Exchange the Guardian for the Mirror and you have a point. I read the national newspapers every night for my job (and, after three years, f*cking hate every one of them) and never seen the Grauniad/Independent/Times deliberately mislead readers in the same way as the Mail/Express/Mirror routinely does.

That's true, once the commie EU superstate takes control it'll set us all up in chateaux, £200,000 housing benefit a week (though it'll be in euros I guess), all that good sh*t. I for one don't have a problem with that...

Even if the story had a grain of truth in it, it's beyond me why anyone would give a f*ck. Work's going to be God-awful for the next few shifts, the Tory propaganda machine known as the national newspapers are going to be churning out a new one of these non-stories every day

"By the powers invested in me by News International, I find you GUILTY of paedophilia". Anyone else remember "The Paedo-finder General" sketch from Monkey Dust? Man that was a good programme.

I'd go with Dover, seeing as they're fighting for a position in the playoffs and Eastleigh are mid-table and pretty much playing out the season. Been to the Crabble with Maidstone twice and had a couple of cracking days out - quality ground and nice people, I even pretended not to notice who they've got as manager all the best to them.

Not much of a surprise: Green Party: 74% Liberal Democrats: 69% Labour Party: 59% British National Party: 48% UK Independence Party: 47% Conservative Party: 32% Going to do some leafleting for the Lib Dems at election time I think, get involved with the political process an' sh*t. With the departure of Old Mother Widdecombe and the popularity of Tony Carroll for his involvement in the Ghurka scandal, the Liberals actually may have a chance in Maidstone

I would like to use this thread to express my distaste for paedophiles, and think they should have their faaaaakin balls cut off, etc. etc. This is necessary in case my silence on the issue makes people suspect me of being a paedophile sympathiser, heaven forbid.

That first tier of Wembley is shallow enough to make a blinding terrace and cater for everyone. Ah well. Didn't experience many funnies myself yesterday, although singing the correct words to the Ricky Lambert song after some near-paralytic goons had just been doing the Lalala bit for a couple of minutes was amusing just for the completely bamboozled look on their faces, kind of like "WTF? Words in songs?"