pap

Hmm. Police don't say this. In fact, go here:- http://www.police.uk/crime/?q=Southampton%20SO16%203HJ,%20UK#crimetypes/2012-09 Look at violent crime. Now either the OB is wrong, your opinion is wrong or Batman has moved into Honeysuckle Road in the last 18 months.

Translation: full of middle-aged weirdos who'll spend 90% of their time ogling at the only recognisable female. It's alright I s'pose, but food is not great there. And it is a sausage fest.

I'm sorry Tokes. I love you and Bear, I really do. I'm just left with the distinct impression that saintbletch is joining some bizarre cult, and that his doing so may ultimately result in the ungodly sacrifice of a nipple. You can see my concern, surely?

Thou doth protest too much, I reckon. Chalk it off to my conspiratorial leanings if you must, but your opening statement sounds like someone who has been chained to a drainage pipe for 2 years in the Lebanon. You identify with your captors. I get that. But at what cost? SaintsWeb abhors a vacuum. dune is gone, so we lose our usual business travel to Rhodesia and/or Gibraltar. There is a thread on submarines which may as well be titled "my opinion is better than yours, but I'm not going to tell you why". TMS is fun, bletch, but you've neglected the shire of the Lounge!

http://awaysupporters.co.uk/liverpool The Arkles is alright; drank in the Wetherspoons before Goodison. Loads of places on Oakfield Road, but I have no idea whether they're home or away. The real fun of the city is to be had at night. Rockers should probably the visit the Swan (if old like me) or the Krazy House (if younger). Do a wee bit of research before you come up. Pretty big places which caters to a lot of tastes and isn't ball-breakingly expensive. Plenty going on.

Cheese, is God pleased with me? You've died twice now, we never really got on ( alas, we were irreconcilable on the gravity and importance of Gibraltar ), yet I stuck up for you. I've been told that you may very possibly be an out and out racist "see you next Tuesday", but I'd somehow hoped that in the course of our encounters, you had come to realise that the problems of a poor black man share many hallmarks with a poor white man and that social stratification, the undeserved reverence of the establishment and unjustifiable inequality lie at the heart of the issue. It's really a shame that dune is dead. If he'd survived and had sufficient coaching, I feel this would be the state of the Lounge today.

I've noticed this a lot lately. First off, if you remember something, you can almost instantly reinforce it. Like old ads from the eighties, and all the things you mention. In pretty much every respect, I've been reliving the early 1990s lately. Installed an Amiga emulator on my PC, been listening to grunge on Spotify. Then you've got Friends Reunited and more recently, stuff like Facebook. That stuff is profound in ways we do not yet realise. The vast majority of our ancestors met people, lost touch and that was that. I'm confident that I can get in touch with anyone I've ever known quickly and easily. Many of them are Facebook friends; others can be reached through social networks. That's quite cool but it's also quite scary. Life seems more permanent; more published. There was a TV show called Caprica, in which a scientist recreated his dead daughter as an AI personality by aggregating and analysing all her social media comments. At the time, I thought that was boll0cks, but you look at some people's feeds, and you could literally recreate a ton of them at a pinch ( "moaning cow who talks about her kids too much" = covers 90% of cases ). The weird thing about technology is that we really can't see the wood for the trees. Who'd have thought that mobile telephony would be what it is today after seeing one of those morons lugging their "car phone" into their company cars? A lot of the stuff we think is cool now is used for entirely cynical purposes. I'm not friends with any entirely professional contacts on Facebook, and I don't share outside friends. I used to be friends with 100s of people from work; unfriended the lot of them when I saw how integrated FB was becoming with everything I did. My point is that we willingly allow systems to track us, and yep - it's handy - but damn, constitutes a sh!tload of potential for abuse.

The Alpine Saint Tiny Tears is Africa's top product. They bung it into a village, show it a Daily Mail headline and it produces fluid for a month. Once they've put it through the bile filter the water is both drinkable and suitable for irrigation purposes.

I remember a time before Bearsy and Tokyo pulled saintbletch into their sordid consensual universe. The man was a voice of reason; the sort of low-post merchant who bides his time before delivering a killer blow, causing great strain to the T, H, I and S keys on many a poster's keyboard. Look what you bast@rds have reduced him to; a thoroughly amusing and articulate court jester providing most of the Muppet Show content yet getting none of the credit. Furthermore, you're denying me use of him. I was going to post some outrageous things in the Lounge, fully expecting the usual cabal of miscreants and/or masturbators presently in a refractory period to chip in with reductive one liners. I can't really do that without saintbletch coming in and saying things like "Well buctootim, have you been to the centre of the Earth. Do you know for certain that bipedal lizards do not live there?" Sort it out, boys. Some kind of timeshare is appropriate, I feel.

Ah, that is sad news. Is there not a chance for an epic comb-over that'd make Paul Daniels blush? It's the sort of thing that if you attempt, you shouldn't even try to hide. Hold it all together with a luminous bulldog clip, etc. I do giggle at the gifts we're all bestowed though and I reckon its better to be a baldy than a shorty. If you're really hung up on it; there are actually decent treatments for being bald. Look at Wayne Rooney. He was able to transform himself from "balding footballer" to "idiot footballer who wasted his dosh because he was over-concerned with appearance". What is there for people like me, eh? Milk crates? Platform shoes? Every concert I go to that is standing only is sh!t. 'Course, if you're bald and short, I can't help you.

Buy your new Turkish pull-string talking Action Man. Comes with ten independent debating topics. Switchable from "sensible" to "WUM". Product review by pap I'm a bit disappointed. Despite some encouraging signs of new phrases lately, the model seems to have reverted to its 2010 settings, where it pretended to not understand racist topical issues. As a keen fan of the Turkish franchise, I'm keen not to see it implode through repetition or backtracking. I might go for the Alpine Saint Tiny Tears this Christmas.

As someone with a best mate who occasionally gets the tag "super noodle", I hear where you're coming from. Just go for it if it's still follicably possible. Weirder the better is my motto these days.

Mobile phones have got to be the biggest leap forward. Do you remember the days when you would actually fail to meet someone in town?

Future quote from trousers, probably. "... And what about capitalism, eh? Means of production given to a select few while the general public is fobbed off with ineffective democracy!" Like I say, probably

I still think that trousers is the right-winger most likely to turn. Come the glorious revolution, I plan to offer him the Ministry of Whattaboutery.

Not enough to my liking, ta - but it's ok; I have the original.

I don't think it works like that hypo. http://www.weblaw.co.uk/articles/defamation-and-the-internet/

Thing is hypo, unlike yourself, I do not hide behind anonymity. I've posted Twitter details on here, pictures of myself and family at Saints games. I make no secret of who I am and anyone who wanted to find out who I was could do so immediately. Most of the people who are on here have been here for years; they know what I'm like and hopefully; that you're not worth listening to. What about people who've no clue who we are? It's a pretty disgusting post, and as much as you'd like to put it in context of the feud we had over "Is it okay to smack your child?", in this thread, one which newcomers are likely to dip into, there's no context at all. Bang out of order.

Classy, hypo. I suppose a lesser man would hit the report button like a lab monkey seeking a snack, or alternatively, send a girlfriend of questionable existence into the fray to defend him. A richer, more litigious man might even consider it libel. Anyone got McAlpine's number?

I was actually making the point that people tend not to **** on their own doorsteps, and there ain't a great deal worth nicking from a crappy estate.

Nice! But you're only saying that because your username is an anagram of Anal Piniest.

Quite right, Tokyo. This thread "entails pain" though, sir.

Also an anagram of Insane At Lip.

I've never been burgled. My strategy has been living in ****hole areas. It's you social climbers that have your heads above the parapet.