Arizona

He played well in those brief first few games when he, Lallana, DMG, Gillett and MS looked like Real Madrid's forward line. Since then only Gillett has looked good IMO.

Have you fotgotten about Tomasz Hajto? If so, please tell me how you managed to do it. Lloyd James and Phillip Ifil would be better options I guess.

Might as well have a big, "I'm a complete douche bag," sign on your head IMO.

I can't remember that moment, but the funniest QI clip I have ever seen has to be this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13VEonU3hWU Bailey, Carr, Fry, Brydon and Davies. 5 of the funniest men on TV and that's what you get. Great DVD, although I did like Part Troll more. "Like fundamentalist Islam, the AA don't like it when you leave" "I'm so hairy, the only tattoos that would look good on me are things you might glimps through a dense forrest. So I've got a burned out Vauxhall Astra, a disused chemical storage facility and a notorious local dogging site"

Dwight Yorke?

He got one in LC I think. Both scored. Jackobsson got a couple. Away to Boro and one against either WBA or Palace at home.

I'm guessing if it's not Perry it must be Ormerod?

One Size? He was only here a year and I don't remember him scoring in it. I could be wrong though. And you are thinking of Griffit, not Gillett. Edit: Sorry, just realised you must be thinking of Richard. My bad, changed the OP.

No idea. In an ideal world I would be down there every week a month from now. However that's not going to happen. Maybe in summer. P.S. In real life I'd say you look more like Chris Perry/Bez. That's just a bad photo.

What's the best XI we could have put out from players that never scored for us? Obviously you could take your pick from any 'keeper but beyond that it's tricky. Not going to be any legends in this lot. So far I can think of: GK: ... RB: Ostlund CB: F. Hall CB: A. Davies RM: Hammill DM: Safri AM: Gillett Surely there are some better players.

Cheating having a pro on your team IMO Gutted I missed this though.

Alexei Cherednik - Moved back to the Ukraine when he left us. Managed Kryvbas for a while and now a scout for Shakhtar IIRC.

Remember 1998, the last time we had a radical rule change and the Mclarens lapped the entire field in Melbourne with Coulthard letting Hakkinen past on the last lap Anyway, it was only 2 races later in Argentina that Schumi had the beating of them. This season I think will be different. Brawn I fear will soon be caught and passed in terms of development with their limited budget. However teams like RBR and Toyota do have the solid finances and infrastructure to challenge Ferrari and Macca long term. Just MHO of course.

A guy I knew in sixth form had a history essay due in once. Trouble was someone got onto his laptop the night before and swapped all the pics of Henry VIII, Thomas Cromwell, Anne Boleyn etc. with porn. The poor sod didn't check before emailing it to his teacher. Some variation on this could be funny, or just adding subliminal messages, the termites are gonna get ya, in the middle of random sentences. Personally I'd just take a dump in their lunchbox.

Guns 'n' Roses - Xray of my tapeworm?

Ah working now. I had Kubica, Button and Barrichello with the Brawn Chassis. Vettel's sh*t tyres cost me a points bonanza.

I think that link may have broken. Anyway, I had Button and Kubica as my 2 drivers gosh darn-it.

A steady drive, but hardly great. If it weren't for other people fookin' it up he'd have been behind Kubica, Vettel, Webber, 2 Ferraris and 2 Toyotas which could have left him as low as 10th. Credit to him for keeping it on the Island in one piece, but there was a lot of luck involved.

Complete a*se gravy IMO. Heidfeld let Kubica through in Montreal to stop him from finishing about 10th after he had pitted. Nick new he was probably throwing away his first F1 win, but did it for the team anyway. I think the crash today was just a racing incident. Kubica I think left enough space, but Vettel's tyres were fooked and he just couldn't slow down and turn in enough. The 10 place penalty is harsh and a real shame for the Malay race. By the looks of it McLaren, STR, Renault and Force India are the only teams not capable of winning at the moment.

W00T!!!! Get in Jenson!! Ordinarily I'd want Kubica and Vettel to put in strong performances, but I cheered when they hit each other. Lol@ All going wrong for Ferrari

A bloke arrives at a nightclub door and the bouncers say he can't come in without a tie, so he goes to the boot of his car and gets a pair of jump leads, wraps them around his neck and goes back to the doormen. "Can I come in now,' he says to the bouncers. 'Yeah, but don't start anything''

Couple of ex-Saints in action. Baird got about 10 minutes at the end of the same match and Tim Sparv (surely he could have done MS's job for £1.2m less) was an unused sub for Finland, who beat a Wales side featuring Bale.

Sorry, tounge was firmly in cheek with that one. You're right though, he does seem to score in patches, which seem to coincide pretty much mith how creative the team around him is. Hopefully Surman, DMG, MS and Lallana can get their collective a*ses in gear.

Actually my top secret sauce was the FIA, who published the amount of fuel left in the cars after qualifying. Any idiot with a calculator (and that's not a dig at Allen) can work out how many laps they can then go and comment on who has performed well relative to their fuel loads. Allen does know his stuff, but as a commentator he is just too annoying and states the obvious a little too often. First impressions of the BBC are good. In my ideal world we'd still have Louise in the pits and Damon Hill involved in some capacity, but Legard, Jordan and Coulthard make a refreshing chance IMO.

I suspect that he was struck by such shock that his team had created a chance to score and completely forgot what he was supposed to do next.