SNSUN

Stuart Hall is quicker than I, he conjures poetry up on the spot! But yes it does read as if being spoken by him. I was going to do all the verses but I got bored with this too.

Twas the night of the deadline, and all over the ground, Not a player was moving, not even Dean Hammond. The kits were hung on the clothes pegs with care In the hope that the first team soon would be there. The fans were nestled all snug in their seats While visions of victory would appear in their tweets And Nigel in his suit, and Nicola in his box Looked to beat Cardiff, for home victories rock. Then out on the pitch there arose such a clatter I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter I pulled out my camera phone and turned on the flash Opened the shutter and gave the button a bash The moon on the breast of the freshly grown grass Gave hope to the fans that were sat on their arse When, who to my wondering eyes should appear But a man named Carlos Tevez. How queer! Such a little old player, so lively and quick The thought of him signing made me feel quite sick More rapid than eagles his signing, it came Left Saints fans singing and chanting his name "Now Davis, now Frazer, now Adam and Danny, On Deano, on Morgan, on Rickie and Lee To the top of the league, to the top of your game Let Carlos join in, we'll be cheering your name!" Nige sprang to his feet, gave the team a whistle and away they all ran like the down of a thistle Then I heard Carlos exclaim as he drove out of sight "You can stuff signing me, your team looks like shyte." Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, but I'm at work and BORED. (and we're not shyte, but Carlos Tevez is a ******. :-))

Vardy rather... typo.

Some interesting deals going on today. This Varny talk is strange - the guy is the same age as Sharp. Is he honestly better than Barnard? Has anyone seem him play? Doubt it'll happen but you never know. Eerie silence from SMS...

Morgan is a youngster with a promising future in the game, has an eye for a pass and is a faurly defensive. Hammond will soon be 29, can score goals and is a real engine in the midfield. Both have their pros and cons. You can't choose between them, which is why they'll be rotated, but Hammond is captain for a reason. I'm happy with those three in the centre fighting out for a spot - and don't forget there's Chaplow in that position too! (Although I prefer him out wide.)

£1.9 million Posh are bidding for 2 Crawley Town players. Crawley being ripped apart. Price of success i guess.

Fonte's back apparently, so Fonte and Martin should do just fine.

Similar to what Boro did for Jutkiewicz? I reckon Sharp will make an appearance on the pitch tonight, but we have enough firepower without him to get past Cardiff.

The more strikers West Ham sign, the more I come to dislike them. Allardyce is a **** that doesn't know how to manage a football club. **** or bust is definitely their motto, and their fans talk as though they're in the Premiership already because they're better than everyone else and will stay top until May. I would love it if they finish third and don't go up.

Just over half what we were trying to sign him for in the summer! Good business.

Oh, and Lambert to West Ham?

According to KUMB, West Ham are close to signing Ricardo Vaz Te. So that'd explain 'a top Championship scorer'.

There's more chance of little blue aliens climbing up my bum and setting themselves up a cosy home.

Surprised nobody's started a 'songs for Sharp' thread yet. Nice and premature as per usual.

That is brilliant! ...and it sorts out what present I get the mother in law for her birthday.

What is the best thing to splatter your man juice into/onto? I only ask because my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways.

Granted it does look as though it's going to go through, but I hate tempting fate! When it's officially announced on the OS, with Sharp grinning and holding a Saints shirt, then I'll be happy!

Hooiveld, Falque, Lee, Sharp is a good window, add Puncheon to that and it's been nearly perfect. People say we need a keeper. I don't, not until the summer at least. Let's hope Sharp signs and starts tomorrow's game, and see what he really has to offer.

Only the player himself could screw this up now. A marquee signing at this level, and key if we want to get promoted THIS season.

So Leicester are looking to sign Danny Collins as we've missed out on him but we're about to sign Billy Sharp. I'd have taken that result at the start of yesterday! I take it we'll still be looking for CB coverage but in the emergency loan window. Good of Saints to do some business late on in the window - I thought nothing would happen.

Would Sharp's signing mean we have a new record for most procrastinated transfer ever, beating Skacel, or does Lee get that vote?

Oh. Really? Well, erm, In my defence, he was a pretty guy and I was drunk.

It's been doing the rounds on Facebook for a while but coming from Chappers makes it extra special!

I post - at work on fag breaks, at home when bored, if there's anything remotely Saints related in the press or on SSN, and on the ****ter. I check SaintsWeb on my smartphone approximately once every 1.34 minutes.