Dog

I'll get you a rabbit, can you gut it, or do you want the fur on?

Stand to wipe? I bet your Y fronts are minging.

Depends on What I've eaten. If I don't need to wipe then 5 mins max, if I've eaten liver or curry or hit the cider then 5 mins slide out time and 20 mins wiping until my arse bleeds or run out of paper then I go looking for a newspaper which isn't funny when your arse is dropping blobs.

Sheena Easton - Greatest hits

I'm going to get rid of it tonight, wonder how it got there?

Would anyone like to take some and try it?

Can you stick 6 in the post please, I'll give them a try.....

I'm off for a vvank!

Can you post a picture Scooby Do, I want to see the slime. Can you eat them Scooby?

Anyone got green fingers?

Excellent, I'll get one now, thanks Colin, you have made me happy.

When is the new kit out, is it today or tomorrow or friday? Hope it's lovely.

Pyjamas

8.30am woken up by blow job & cup of tea. 9.00am shower 9.30am smoked salmon & croissants, followed by hot pot of coffee 10.00am blow job 10.30am off to work in my helicopter 11.30am start work 12.00pm lunch 2.00pm back to work until 4.00pm 5.00pm back home for dinner

Good morning. I have recently started growing my own vegetables and at the moment I have carrots, cabbage, leeks, courgette, purple sprouting & cauli growing showing great results. But then this plant came along, I think there is two of them, could they be aubergine by any chance as I'm sure I stuck some in..... Really confused on this one, so hopefully someone one here can help?

A. Dead B. In bed C. Modelling for Vogue D. In prison E. Up the duff F. Emigrated G. Silicon valley H. Who cares

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81640039/?lt=ep

Urinate daily on the sofa, and walk around your house allday with your trousers and pants around your ankles after not wiping your bum properly.

WTF are you doing swimming in the rat infested canal? P.S. Nice boobies

Do you eat your cats?

Does the seat smell of farts & p1$$?

I was talking to a black man at the weekend, he was from the deep south of America and he was very black with a slow drone to his voice, he came up with this classic......... "Life's like a Ni99a's left leg..................................... It aint fair and it aint right"

Jeyes fluid works a treat