Dog

It's a fake, I'll give you five finest pound coins for it?

Taxed yes, I'll pay for that, tested yes, but one of the crew is a mechanic and does MOT's, he said as long as evrything works he'll stick a ticket on it. I mean we are only driving it for a week then when we get back we're going to smoke it!

I was stoned.

Just bought 2 pairs of TOMMY Y fronts off Ebay from a designer shop in Oldham, I think the seller was guptatrading, they came the next day in a Aldi carrier bag and the seller sold them as new, they clearly were not, and judging by the crust in the rear seat I recon he'd been wearing them all week. I gave him positive feedback and he knocked a fiver off each pair. Result!!

Tory Boy

I bet it's pink?

I was sacked today for having sex in the back of my taxi with a customer. I say taxi... ...technically it's a hearse.

I am looking for a car for £100 or less as I am doing a charity drive with 3 mates from here to Sicily and back... Anything considered, but wouldn't mind a diesel estate.

Yes, most dinosaurs are fully grown at 18 months, well the one's I've cum across have.

Who gives a flying ashtray, cats are sh1t!!

Speedie: Ashtray

Has number 7 got trapped wind...?

Wiseman!

We can see you holding hands! BHA

And it seems to me that you lived your life like Matt Oakley on the wing.

Monkou Le Saux - Both tight at the back and slippery in the showers.

Is that Neil Shipperley, 3rd from the right?

Dixon Ball-Case.

Cling Film.

Budgie Barnard - mad as a hatter and mad as a hatter!

Dennis Lallana - The flair, touch and charm of Adam Lallana with the aggression, compassion and looks of Mark Dennis..

Leon Best - ****!

Doubt it. Probably playing strip poker and spin the bottle.

"If I pull your nipple ring, will you show me your cum face?"