Turkish

Is it just me that is slightly concearned at the attention you are paying to our players bodies, or is your wife worried as well?

oh right, i'd just suddenly become very tired and unable to stay awake around you. Thanks for confirming it's not an illness but your company that has that effect.

If they introduced an attendance tax for everytime someone aasked how many tickets we'd sold they could put the parking threshold back up to 30 minutes.

NO, because that would mean i would have to meet you and unfortunately i think that might bring on a temporary affliction of narcolepsy.

What you need to do pal is give these lairy drivers the old Fred Astaire, they melt like an ice cube on a sunbed. I was down in Portmouth the other day, driving down past those sh*t flats on the way into the their sh*t hole town and some bulb started getting up my arse (not literally but you get what i mean) so i slowed right down, he started giving it the hand signals and pulled into the the lane next to me. Then sadly for him the lights went red and we were the front two in our lanes. He pulled up alongside me and stared in, so i just sat there, wound the window down and stared back, he drove forward a bit, so did i, he drove back a bit so did i, still giving him the Fred Astaire. Then he started giving me the thumbs up, all smiley like, i mouthed mug at him through his still closed window and he was still grinning like an Iron with a new tub of poppers. As soon at the lights turned to green he was off quicker than a hamster up Freddie Mercury. Just about sums that lot up, hard and lairy as ***** until it's put on them.FACT.

I guess it wasn't you i saw in town the other day with a bird out of his league then.

I didn't mean the colour.

She was too good to be my misuss. I think i heard her call him Colin though.

It'd really suit you though.

I cant understand why other would, but accept it, sadly. Tis a sad fact that 90% of English people dont have a clue how to dress. Classic example the other day i was in town and there were a couple who looked like they were out for the evening together, late 30's. She was quite a tidy piece, kept herself in shape, well turned out and had obviously made a bit of an effort. Hair and make up nicely done, nice out fit on etc. Him on the other hand had a great big beer gut, sh*t hair cut, and was wearing one of those £4.99 fake England shirts from somewhere like Sports Direct, you know the ones, White with England written in Red across the front. Together with a pair of Lonsdale tracksuit bottoms and Reebok Classics. Seriously, i bet she cant bare the thought of the bloke trying to stick his rod in her of a night. The thought of his love glue squirting into her slot must repulse her, if it doesn't then she is clearly deeply insecure and thinks he is the best she can get.

You cant get away with ANY football shirt IMO if you are over 10 years old. It looks awful. The look in the summer is usually complete with 3/4 length shorts and nasty trainers with socks or cheap jeans in the autumn/spring. Seriously, when your going out, be it down the local or into town or wherever and you've not been sure what to wear, has your bird ever said "you know what, wear your saints shirt, you look great in it"

Why would you wear a football shirt when you are taking your bird out anyway? I have never understood this.

Why not kill two birds with one stone then and buy a top you like and can wear to football and also one you can wear casually?

i could be there all day......

Oi you c*ont, you forgot someone else FFS.

Am i seriously only limited to 3 that i dont like?

You're right about that. I work in Reading and before that Basingstoke and most of the lads in my office were Liverpool and Man United fans. One thing that really grated is when they called their clubs "we". As their support consisted of watching games on Sky when they weren't shopping with their girlfriends or playing golf and taking the p*ss out of the other each other depending on who had lost that weekend and go on about "we are going to win this, that and the other" and sign him him and him. I often got into arguments that they had no right to use the word "we" when talking about the clubs they "support". I suggested that they were in fact Manchester United or Liverpool bystanders. Also their knowledge of football was absolutely shocking, Some even thought Frank Lampard was a good player for England FFS.

Do any of you lot actually understand football culture and rivalry? Just asking like....

Probably because some people call them Poopey FFS.

Join up mate. Hypo only started posting when he got banned from TSW. He has been okay over there.

WHat makes you think that??!

His favourite saying at the end of every self promotion post, of which there are many is... "you wish you were me"

I am yet to discover anyone who considers him a hero on here, like his claims on that thread.

He is. He lost a load of weight but it appears to be creeping back on after he met a new bird. Which is another, amusing story.

How many of you were offered to meet him for a "chat"? I know he and Dell Days had a particularly special relationship.