Turkish

She must be horrific, that bad that she cant get any better than you.

You mean, one with boyfriend dumped you again? Anyway dont worry fatty, move in with bird will only put out once for you anyway, no dilema.

You cant doubt the towel, place mats, colgate and lean mean grilling machine story though. That is proof he is off.

We could get a Stone Island jump suit for Stu.

You can still be bald and attractive, like Jason Statham, how many fat people are attractive? A lot of fat ****ers, need someone to stood behind them to catch their bum when they take off their trousers.

Thats a digusting thing to say, especially by a moderator. I am not going to call you a Mod, as they were cool, what you have just said is not.

Nah, to much effort for me mate!

obviously you or you wouldn't be posting this.

both wrong, Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash.

cant he just do what Mel Gibson used to do in Leathal Weapon and bang it against a door or something to put it back in? Be back playing in no time.

It was a kitchen towel and black to go with the lean mean grilling machine and place mats, looks like the deal is still on.

Does it have a chopper pad with someone flying in to pick him up like his house in Warwick WBA are giving him?

Smokescreen, they always say that when a player is leaving.

my **** is wider than that.

And disgusting. Do something about it. You dont quite seem to have reached grotesque stage yet so exercise and cutting out take aways, crisps and chocloate might help. However, you are a potential for vulgarity, sort it out before its too late.

Part of the deal was that he gets a house with a chopper pad and a helicopter to the training ground, so in your face.

I think that probably answers yout first question. However, he is on the squad list for this season, now there is a mystery to solve...

Yeah i know, just confirming.

Never trust a dog, they are known informers to the News of the World, love a gossip, especially Irish Wolf hounds, s*** stirers

That's why his mum was buying them in Bournemouth, so she could send them up when he moves in.

Thats the problem though isn't it, but for that he'd be playing at a higher level.

People said the same about Surman but were cracking one out at the thought of him coming back.

no i am not, my mates bird works in ASDA in Bournemouth and she saw his mum buying a set of place mats, a towel, a tube of colgate and a lean mean grilling machine for his new house in Warwick. His mum told her it was a done deal.

no, £1.2m up front, plus add ons if he scores 30 goals and makes 100 apperances. Total deal could be £1.5m.

He is leaving, going to WBA for £1.2m.