Wade Garrett

He doesn’t pop up in the box like Smallbone does.

Williams was quality

Shame we lost Wilcox. I hear he’s doing a fantastic job at Man Utd. Dan Ashworth reckons it’s the best tea he’s ever drunk.

Shit my fucking pants when I heard Strachan had signed Paul Telfer.

Racist undertones? Have a fucking day off.

Wanker with a pea-sized heart.

Spoke to my Greek mate about that striker. He said: Hello everybody peeps. Good player innit. Bang bang goal.

Not sure if you can judge any side until the window closes.

These cryptic transfer posts are really getting on my tits 😉

What about the mad bloke who stuck the nut on Fonte?

Weirdo

Interested to know why the new Labour Government means more immigrants. I didn’t notice it in their manifesto, although I do remember David Cameron promising to reduce net immigration to tens of thousands in 2010.

Better than a false 5.

There’s no hope for Mara. Absolute dogshit.

Good keeper.

I saw us put in loads of crosses last season. Problem was Adams or Mara up front never made a near post run. Ings would improve us immeasurably, as would Antonio.

Chaotic club. Their manager will be gone by Christmas.

Why? He’s the goalkeeping equivalent of Ali Dia. Maybe someone called the club saying he was Buffon’s cousin.

Would rather sign Ings.

Diving over balls and getting down as quick as an OAP has fuck all to do with style of play and everything to do with lack of ability.

Murders them because he keeps dropping them.

Pep plays his keepers as rush goalies because he observed us playing it on Peartree Green in the early 80s. Apparently in training, Man City go to the old people’s flats and knock the doors and run off before the old biddies can see who knocked. Another thing he picked up in Woolston back in the day. Hopefully, they’ll get a few injuries when he introduces bundles and British Bulldog next season.

Every now and then genius like this appears and makes everyone else feel like their contributions are inadequate. Excellent work.

He’s a c**t.

Absolutely it is ruthless. Smallbone’s performances have merited him the opportunity to test himself on the top league. If he’s not good enough, he won’t play.