Bearsy

Just Mikes fracted me the other day after Spudders and Tokyos tricked my into posting pictures of the chick from High School Musical with her nawks out. Tokyos is still clean slate, far as I know. He's such a spod! He's like the kid at school who always wants to hang out with the bad boys but when we're starting a fire in the train station car park he's like "Oh I've just remembered I've got to get home for my tea."

Ooooh exciting plot twist! I didn't see that coming!

Book 2: 50 Shades Darker - Chapter 4 After spending the night shackled to the wall of Christian's rape room with a 2 pound baseball bat hanging out my bumhole, I'm starting to question our relationship. Am I good enough for him? He's so rich and clever and experienced - in all my 21 years I'd never even heard of playing bum baseball, let alone thought that people would do it for fun. He deserves someone better than me, someone who can hit a curve ball. Nonetheless when the door opens my heart skips a beat and my Inner Goddess claps her hands because we're both so excited to see Christian, but it's just the boring old house-maid. It's a bit awkward to be honest, what with being shackled to the wall with wooden bats hanging out my arse. She don't seem bothered though, she just glances at me and shakes her head sadly and sighs, "Dos mio... not again!" I'm not sure what she means by that. I don't speak Spanish. "Oh hi!" I say, waving my bum bat in greeting. "Could you let me down please?" "Dos mio, you stupid girl! How you let him do this to you?" I have a little lol to myself at her poor English. She's pretty old and pretty fat and pretty much not pretty. No competition at all! At least there's one woman in the world I don't have to worry bout stealing my Christian. After she lets me down I have a look around for Christian but I can't find him anywhere. Must of buggered off to work or something, so I call Jose to come pick me up. "Dos mio?" he says. "Oh hi Jose, come pick me up from Christian's." "I'm at hospital, my father, he has heart attack." "Which hospital?" "St. Clares." "Oh no!" That's all the way over the other side of town. "Well, quick as you can then." He turns up eventually. I find it completely impossible to sit with my sore bum, so I lay face face down on the back seats. Jose seems a bit put out. "I wanted some of that sweet ass, now is ruined," he says mournfully. When I get home Kate is pumping iron, I can see the sweat glisten on her shaved head. She's taken to smoking cigars, and wearing combat trousers and tank tops. "Alright darling?" she says, her deep voice making the cutlery rattle. "Let's have a look at this bumhole." She massages it for a bit, and finding it sore she licks on it to make it better. "Men!" she says in disgust when she sees how torn up it is. "You wouldn't have this problem if you went with girls." "Hahaha!" I laugh. The very idea! Nothing against lesbians, I don't know any personally but I'm sure they're nice people or whatever, it's just not for me. I know Kate feels the same, I can hear her mmm-ing with agreement as she licks my pussy. I realise now that I ain't seen my subconscious around for a while. It's weird, she's always here ragging me for one dumb thing or the other. Suddenly she comes bursting into the room. She's bugging out! She looks at me wildly, "Ana, hide me!" "What? What's going on?" She looks dumbly at her hands in the dazed, canine fashion that I look at books. I see now they're dripping with blood. "I've killed Christian," she says. Oh my God!

Oh hi tokyos! Nah I ain't read the second book at all. The reviews of first book was all legit but I've just been making sh!t up for the last few chapters... I was wondering if anyone would notice! I'll buy a copy of book two sometime and we can find out if E.L.James version is any different than mine. I reckon it'll be much the same tho.

That's "pretending to listen" homes. Not the same thing!

That's "pretending to listen" homes. Not the same thing!

My cat had kittens when i was a kid and they was all born blind, poor things. I put them out their misery tho.

My cat had kittens when i was a kid and they was all born blind, poor things. I put them out their misery tho.

Wouldn't it be easier to pm him your facebook or whatever Barry? I mean if ur gonna meet up anyway?

Wouldn't it be easier to pm him your facebook or whatever Barry? I mean if ur gonna meet up anyway?

Oi pap can you clarify what political system they use in tv shows what are set in the future? Which ones is communist and which ones is capitalist and which ones is Respect Party or whatever? Then I can figure which system is gonna be best in the future. Star Trek Star Wars Battlestar Gallactica Firefly

Oi pap can you clarify what political system they use in tv shows what are set in the future? Which ones is communist and which ones is capitalist and which ones is Respect Party or whatever? Then I can figure which system is gonna be best in the future. Star Trek Star Wars Battlestar Gallactica Firefly

Yeah but... gangaman dance! It's a whole other tune but in my eyes it must be superior! The video will be lols!

Yeah but... gangaman dance! It's a whole other tune but in my eyes it must be superior! The video will be lols!

Lols gangaman dance!

Lols gangaman dance!

I dunno what the word is but I've had kind of the opposite. I woke up one morning and bird was grinning at me funny, I was like what? She's like "can you smell that?". Turns out she'd vag juiced my morning moustache. B!tch!

Nah you misjudge pap he's one of the most sound bros on the forum! He was probably teasing or whatever, I've never noticed him being 'uppity or arsey'. Up an arse maybe. Lols

Oh yeah sorry bro i've edited the post to give you full credits!

Nah i don't really like football. (© tokyos 2012) You gonna go with Pap, like a Saintsweb man-date? PS - Aha! You called me Bearsy!

Nah it weren't that, I weren't being rude I was just saying a Dirty Sanchez is when you do that, I mean give the girl a poo brown moustache. There was a whole tv show bout it. I was helpfully explaining why he was calling you the Dirty Sanchez!

Oh hi tokyos! If Bletch said so that's cool with me. I do think he's a bit like Cheese tho.

Did you finger ur bird's bum then wipe it on her upper lip? Tokyos? What do you know bout the Barry Sancheese situation?

Another outlandish theory from our resident krakpot

yeah i dunno really i just wanted to try out your new nickname "krakpot". I'm worried you need to post some more outlandish theories tho or it won't catch on. How do you feel bout playing G-Nigga as defensive midfielder?