Legod Third Coming

Yes, because you're now betting on two events with 6 possible outcomes.

No, your're not being stupid. It is a two horse race with two possible outcomes. All things being equal it's 50/50 or even money - so at 11/8 it recognises it's the least likely outcome but not so unlikely that it's worth offering any bigger price.

Make a change from the straight-jacket I suppose...

Ah yes, the ill-equipped tactically inept Guardiola whose record in four years is... er... La Liga (three), Spanish Super Cup (three), Champions League (two), World Club Cup (two), European Super Cup (two), Copa del Rey (one). TOTAL: 13. And would have been in the Champion's League final with their plan but for being fecking unlucky. Which is fine. Coventry won't be that lucky.

Lordy, we have some fans who need to get down to Specsavers... There's no such thing as a Plan B. You can change the tactics but what parts of this very simple plan do not work... 1. Get the ball. 2. Give it to a bloke in the same coloured shirt ahead of you in a goal scoring position. 3. Do 2 until someone is. Football is a very simple game. We did that against Reading and it would have worked had a) two players not missed great chances, b) the keeper pulled off a couple of great saves c) TWO players ignored rule 2. The distance we hit the ball at point 2 is immaterial as long as we do it. We did not just hoof it to Lambert against Reading - that's the worst description of that game imaginable. The ball was hit STRAIGHT to him like a fecking arrow and for 75 minutes he flicked it on, held it up or used it immaculately... Here's the thing. Adkins 60%+ win ratio. Two managers in the ENTIRE COUNTRY better - sitting 1 and 2 in the Premier League... But now he needs a plan from the fecking internet... I love football fans.

Like the first minute goal at Boro you mean? No thanks. If we get one in the first minute, I won't be happy unless we get another three in the next 20!

Methinks he doth protest too much... Always the way, those people most averse to homosexuality... Ever see American Beauty? I have you down as the dad with the gun...

I want to see the next five year plan. Champion's League football is my guess. Bring it on! I've never seen competitive football at the Nou Camp, Bernabua, Allianz arena... This is a journey that cannot end badly as long as you enjoy the journey and don't really care about the destination.

You say that, but a Ralphie will set you back about £65 these days? It was ok when you could nip over to Disneyworld, do two tours of Universal and bring home a full case of Polos at $30 (£15 each) and 501s at $11 (£5.50) but those days are long gone... So I've gone Hollister myself (alright I'm 42 in three weeks and it's a stretch - literally) but the girls who serve you (the legal ones) are fit as a butcher's dog and the shirts come in around £24, bargain. All in all a perfect shopping experience.

I will have on a pair of Loake brogues (probably an older pair, what wtih all this rain around, but well polished to keep it out), my older Hugo Boss jeans (again see weather), a block polo - most likely a Jack Wills number because it upsets the kids, and one or more replica shirts - I'm torn between the Le Tissier last season special replete with name and number or the last Premiership kit with the red sleeves - seems somewhat circular to wear it for relegation and promotion... so maybe both. There's no point in a coat - it'll just get wet. And the football shirts are designed to dry quickly. As for underwear, the word Commando springs to mind.

Maybe they'll go inside the dressing room and see a touch of this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i5xdwVAt1k&feature=relmfu

why, you off out to celebrate?

Fantastic. PMSL.

Depends what do you want to charge us middle class fans to drive it?

Depends, is Phil the Greek a Hammer.... oops. Hush my mouth. I'll never work for 6 again...

Is he really your son - you have her word?? Just saying, like, might give you a get out clause...

Driving down from Walton on Thames, via Woking. Two empty seats if you are en route...

Me too - started supporting properly in 81/82 at the height of our success - pretty much everything after that was downhill bar the WGS years. I always used to say that being a Saints fan gave you everything. Only a fan who has tasted the bitterness of failure can understand the sweet smell of success. When we lost the FA Cup and to a man we stood and applauded our lads collecting their runners' up medals while Arsenal fans drifted away discontent that their only success came in a trophy they didn't appreciate - I knew then that it was better to be Saints fan. As the old song goes "where were you when we were crap"?!

Thank Pal - if you want to see the football played on the floor, come down to Saint Mary's one of these days

Funny though isn't it? Felt utter shyte that day but would you swap the last seven years?? I wouldn't. I've been to places and met people I would never have done. I've been able to go to games with friends at clubs I'd never have visited. I've felt elation (promotion) on a scale we could never have felt before. And hopefully will see a promotion to the top league for the first time in my football following lifetime. I really believe that everything happens for a reason - or at least that fate will always deal you a hand and it's how you play it that counts...

I cried at the end of Toy Story 3, doesn't mean I don't have a grip on reality. I don't. But crying at Toy Story 3 is not prima facie evidence. Of more concern is spending time on here talking to people only three of whom I have ever knowingly met... That shows a total lack of perspective on anything, to be brutally frank.

For me it's a bit like having a mistress. When you don't have one it sounds fantastic and you think it's going to be exciting and thrilling. Then you have one and realise that as well as the excitement and thrills (choose carefully fellas...) it's also bloody nerve wracking and you're never sure whether that feeling of happy-anxiety is anticipation or nausea... The idea of a last day decider is just like this. Sounds brilliant. Might be brilliant. Might also end really badly and cost you a fortune, and you'll wish you never entertained it... Of course, on the upside, no-one on Saturday will set light to your wardrobe, douse your motor in paint-stripper and attack your gentlemen's jewels with a pair of secateurs....* (*Unless you live in Pompey).

Clang, clang, "negro", whistle, whistle... What the feck was that??!!! Ah, sounded like a pot saying something to a kettle...

With all due respect, it did get them somewhere - check the stats. They missed a penalty and hit the post twice. By six inches (bar and post) it works. Whenever a team gets beat (and Barca didn't, they drew - and the second goal was one that hardly mattered as they were down and out alreadyand had 11 men in the opposition box), people are quick to lambast the tactics as though somehow this was some master plan by Di Matteo: "So, er you see, I'ma tinking' dat if we er letta Messi hava da ball all nighta, chances are he will hitta da post and missa da penalty. And den we willa play oner brillianta ball from Frankie and datta will give us da win..." Fair play to Chelsea. They worked bloody hard without the thug and I thought the deserved the luck they got. But luck they did get, didn't they? Pen goes in, bish bosh game over goodnight Chelsea...

We won't. I have a hunch that Adkins will be the next Fergie. Don't ask me why.