rallyboy

They lose enough evidence when it suits, you'd think that the old bill might have mislaid his laptop, or stored it safely for him in a bath of water. Some police already mistakenly think that they can delete images or prevent legal photography in the street, let's not give them power to do stuff like that. If you think the police should delete these pix, imagine your mate being beaten up by a couple of policemen at a game and you film it on your phone. You have just voted for those policemen to legally delete the evidence and arrest you for anything they fancy. This laptop contains family pix, given to the perv by the family, or taken by him at family events. They are not porn, and they belong to him. The real issue should be stopping him from abusing kids in the first place.

That's what I was wondering. How can they be ahead of debt repayments whilst increasing debt? It sounds like someone is spouting spin. Or perhaps.....and I know this is unlikely and I'm going to be shouted down for even mentioning the crazy idea....but maybe the figures don't stack up?

Spring is here, it's time to start bigging up next season in a desperate attempt to sell season tickets and more donations. Keep an eye out for 1. Talk of a promotion challenge. 2. Reference to a busy summer shakeup with the board backing the manager to spend big on wages. 3. More revenue being discovered from somewhere. 4. Morale-boosting warcries from players who pledge to give everything to get the club back to the dizzy heights of League Two midtable mediocrity. 5. Anything celebratory about the Trust's first chaotic year in charge, purely spun to distract from reality. So what has the Property Developing Trust actually achieved in a year? The fans own less of the club than they did then. They have appointed and sacked two poor managers. They will finish approx 88th in the league pyramid. They have overspent on wages in the annual failed promotion gamble. They gave away season tickets too cheap in a failed attempt at packing the park. They failed to get enough donations so they keep extending the deadline. They have given crap players long contracts. They embraced the pin-up girl of the local far-right without researching the family. They are supporting a property deal that landlocks the stadium and leaves it vulnerable to future development - all in return for a small bit of car park. Have I missed anything? Probably.

We are debt-free they shouted from behind their pile of debt. Yes, that was a great day. The local business experts had driven all the criminals out of the club and the fans would return in droves to pack-the-park. They were all set for a promotion season in front of sell-out crowds....there was no excuse for empty seats, they were cheap and every penny went into pompey. Guy had his plucky warchest and the pick of the free-transfer market, it was onwards and upwards for the biggestest club outside London. If anything they were too big for most games, and the little clubs who made up the numbers were overwhelmed by being in such exalted company as the mighty blue giants ripped up the division. Whoops! Well I've enjoyed the year. They are spoiling us, there can't be another year as funny as this one around the corner, can there?

It always makes me chuckle when someone tells me they have just 'loaned' one of their kids money - you can wave goodbye to it! Personally, in simple terms, I don't want my kids to worry about money - but I want them to understand that if they borrow something, they pay it back. Last time my daughter started paying off properly I wrote off the last amount to give her a pleasant surprise. The key is that they make an effort and don't take payouts for granted. And they certainly don't owe us money while still managing to have three holidays and a new car - If they are broke I want to see them suffering! You can always remind them that if they owed money to a bank instead of you, they would be less generous and would come and take stuff away. Good luck with the balancing act.

Indeed, when you get mocked for your fashion choices in South Wales you know that you've hit rock bottom! Now they're avoiding West Ham, Millwall, Leeds, Cardiff, Stoke etc, presumably some old men are reliving the excitement of Football Factory by frightening the big firms from the likes of Accrington and Northampton. Perhaps they will have tales to tell their great grandchildren about the day that they took the home pub in Morecambe or Torquay? And they are such dinosaurs from a bygone age that they can actually tell those great grandchildren their stories when they get home that night. They have so found their level.

I do hope Rangers aren't trying to gatecrash the insolvency club self-love-in with their paltry 49,000 fans at a game in the 4th tier. Everyone knows who is the bestest in the world, their loyal minibus of fans keep reminding us. They are so small it is embarrassing when they make these claims. Remember that footage from a Poznan under 12s fixture? That is a passionate fanbase.

I was only discussing that with a pompey fan on Friday. I told him that the rivalry changed for a lot of people that league cup night, previously people were not fussed what the blue quarter of Hampshire was up to, but when you start abusing the dead in our stadium, you are asking for trouble. I also mentioned the dignity given to Flahavan but I just got the old, it was only half a dozen pompey fans at SMS that night and they were downstairs and didn't realise, and the Saints fans made most of the noise, and you shouldn't have held the silence at that game. The alternative was to say to a visiting chairman, we won't be holding that silence tonight because your fans can't be trusted not to behave like filthy inbred pikeys, and some clubs might have taken as an insult. Their behaviour since, and particularly over JayRod, just supports that theory. You are also correct about Chimes, where I was astonished to see sensible debate when I last looked. The contrast to POL where they just make stuff up and show an inability to grasp basic maths or grammar is significant. 50% of their fans must be hugely embarrassed by the other 75%. I'm told there is even a pompey song that refers to Jimmy Savile having relations with a tramp, and we discover during the chorus of this potential Eurovision entry that the lovechild of that beautiful union is TCWTB. So there are sensible pompey fans.... I know that's a bombshell, but they're shouted down by the home-tatted, EDL-leaning, wonky-eyed, sister-bothering majority.

547 retweets? Wow - that's nearly as many times as Lord T has posted on this 1,948 page thread in the last week. Though if we look at that 547 as the result of two CVAs, it actually translates back up as 13.675 million retweets. Seasonally adjusted and spun in a Portsea myth factory we are then looking at 100 million retweets. It makes them the biggest club in Europe, and confirms the few as the most active social media following in world sport. So many webby fingers to fit onto keyboards, a great effort. Amazing support.

I can't even understand half of those posts. There was something celebrating a serious injury and laughing about a professional footballer in agony, some stuff from 70 years ago, then some more gibberish written in pikish. They may well have their glorious victory over Hartlepool in front of a 25% empty bearpit of a fortress, but Ted is still waving them goodbye. Trouble is he can't even see them from where he is, there's about 80 league clubs in the way.

It's really honest of the current pompey management offering to revisit all financial agreements since 2009, and presumably, to settle all that debt they walked away from...twice. But if it comes to it, my money will be on the scouse legal team.

Yes, I seem to recall a few sister-bothering, heather-selling, tooth-free, bath-dodging, cross-eyed simpletons gobbing off about how we had borrowed £35M and were insolvent. Cue further myths. And Nutjobs may be obsessed with another club, but they are generally pretty savvy about their own too. But for the few to comment on our finances is a bit rich as they have neither grasp of basic maths nor a fricking clue what is going on in their own balance sheets! We are just the same as Man Utd as they have debt too...scummahs ripped off charities so their admin was identical to ours....we are debtfree....we have the lowest wagebill in the division....we've been punished twice for the same offence....parachute payments are ringfenced and will cover that....etc

I thought this had already been dismissed as a pub myth, but if true, shouldn't any potential money be owed to administrators/creditors of the previous businesses? Would that would have been a clause from the admin before last? Not sure how any normal business could have a legal claim to that historic agreement. Either way, come on anyone else!

if they string several results together now we might just have to thank Mr McInnes for such an appalling appointment mid-season. Had they employed a sensible manager then, they would now be right up there in the play-offs and gobbing off about promotion. I salute the Trust for their work - long may they control the destiny of the south's pluckiest minnow.

I've just seen the BBC stats - 53%-47% possession? More like 80-20 you clowns. Let's see them try to dress it up on Match of the Day as if there were two teams on the pitch.

The mental state of Nutjobbery is more of a curse than a group that you belong to, so Landford, you are a sufferer like the rest of us. You have made the bravest step, standing up and finally admitting it to yourself that you have a problem. That obsessive looking at the thread, the following of bizarre links, all those balance sheets, the laughing out loud to yourself at the oddest things - how many years of your life has been lost in here? Yes, you have learned a great deal about legal and financial matters and even how to construct a paragraph of more than eight words, but it has to stop. Sadly Nutjobbery has spread to the east now, Brighton is reporting an increase in cases. Someone needs to do something, perhaps we could have a fundraiser to research the disease - and in the true spirit of the genre, we could pretend to hand over a cheque to someone who needs it but we could keep the cash and spend it on prossies!

Would? Have!

What a fantastick seasin, we got nocked out of cups by teams I'd not neva eard of way befour chrismas, and got relegated rite out of da leeg! But on da plus side, I own some well valubel shares, I got to boo a lot, tort me kids how to spit at the chairman, and me and my mate the mid-op tranny, p!ssed on a coach dats worf more than our stadeum - shortly before wee bofe got sacked. We still larf now -it was brill!

In portsmythmatics 5-2 is a clear stalemate, a draw, the board is split right down the middle - it could go either way, who gets the casting vote? Or is it that the three members of the Trust are split 2-1 and the other four don't give a sh!t as long as they get a supermarket?

I know that my view that they have suffered some punishment has been dismissed by some in the past, but let's be realistic here. While the football authorities have let them off on several occasions, particularly on the groundbreaking failure to delay the points deduction last season, and they have escaped winding-up when that was the obvious action for a 'normal' business, let's not pretend they have got away with much. Look at the league table - they were in the Premier League, they will never go there again. Yes, they've dodged debts and legal processes, escaped punishment for financial irregularities and false ownership, but the sporting gods of Karma have been kicking the living crap out of them for years now. You show me a pompey fan who feels that they haven't suffered at all, and I'll show you a toothless simpleton with no grasp of reality. If I was an eccentric friend of Glenn Hoddle I might even suggest that they are paying for sins in a previous life. Which works for me. So, though the justice hasn't come from the correct quarters, it is being dished out. If Karma can just find one final push, they will be over the line and justice will have been served. Still not convinced that they have suffered? To put it into context, look forward to 2019 and imagine West Ham, Aston Villa or Sunderland, one place off relegation to non-league - that would be the bestest decline in world football. The few might still be smugly claiming the cup, but I 4-1 know that inside, they are sobbing like girls.

JOBSITE AD - Temporary role as caretaker hero. Possible Opportunity. Chance for really poor manager to come in, to have no effect, but to take responsibility for a couple of scratchy results that will keep a team in the football league. The successful candidate will be expected to have a track history three divisions higher and no self respect - they will also be asked to rebuild quite badly in the summer, while pretending they knew nothing about the finances, and moaning about lack of funds. They will also be responsible for delusional press conferences and be expected to work to a standard media template regarding fans, the club, performances, and the rewriting of history as it happens. After a short trial period as a hero the candidate is likely to be abused both verbally and physically, there may be a request for the inevitable payoff to be deferred at this time too. Wages will be much higher than elsewhere, but there is a pretty good chance the lucky winner won't actually get them. This is a prestigious role working with some of the best fans, the most experienced management structures in world sport, and with no real budget limitations of any sort. It's nothing to do with property developers at all. So if you think you have what it takes to revive the sleepiest giant ever, send your CV, wrapped around a bottle of pre-2000 Bollinger, to Mr McInnes, The Fortress Fatpipes Harbourdome, Debt Lane, Delusionton, Portsea, P1 K3Y. These contracts tend to run for about seven months, three of which will be unpaid. Those who fail to attach a stamp will be looked upon favourably. If you are still owed money from your last stint in this role, you need not apply.

You know it's over for Barker when the portsmyth factory starts churning out stories designed to damage him. Did he really shrug off a fan's criticism with, 'you've been relegated before' or start rucking with people in the family section in front of kids? I can spot a PR campaign when I see one. But now these facts are out there amongst the simple people, he's had it. As for his coaching and people skills... Every time we think we’ve solved a problem and moved on to a different problem, the other problem crops back up again because of the mental capacity to take the information on board Meaning, the players are thick. While he is a dead man walking, nutjobs everywhere need to calm down. If Northampton cannot defend a lead against ten men they have the stench of relegation all over them, and there are about another three teams in that same smelly boat. pompey just need to scrape about two results and the greatest of all great escapes will be complete and written into the history books as a plucky win against all odds. How difficult can it be to score two goals down the bottom of that division? They will beat someone, the quality down there is appalling. And that's why I still believe that they will retain their league status. As if that is a victory! In the meantime, enjoy the ride.

You can mock but they still had more than 3,000 paying home fans yesterday, and if smaller clubs like Liverpool, Newcastle or even ourselves were in League Two, there would be nowhere near that on a sunny afternoon in March. Yes, they might be having a little bit of a wobble right now, but they are still a massive club with a proud history of winning trophies without cheating, paying off debt promptly, setting record post-war attendances, pioneering anti-fascism, and never booing or chucking coins at injured opposition players. So some of you smug Nutjobs might like to bear that in mind - especially as we are currently trapped in the middle of a post-Cortese meltdown of epic proportions that will see an inevitable summer firesale prior to the club dropping through the leagues like a single tear from a plucky Portsea child's cheek. We will never be able to compete with their history. Unless we can conjure up another four administrations, hire in some prossies, get in bed with Lidl, and shove some wheelchair-bound kids into a canal.

Another home defeat, no goals, blatant red card, clueless manager pleased with the team's effort, and the few are chucking coins at opposition players. What a lovely bunch. It's Eastleigh that I feel sorry for - the pompey circus is heading their way!

Back in August they must have dreamed that their star striker would score a late winner on a Friday night in March and keep his team in the play-offs. Makes you wonder why the Trust is paying him to play for Oxford.