rallyboy

Village People have gone a bit downmarket since their last hit. And I think it fair to assume that little John doesn't see a lot of action, so the chance to show him off for the enjoyment of like-minded men must be as good as it gets.

Indeed, that final 20% came from nowhere. And it arrived the very day before the first game. Remarkable. What a coincidence. Like a story of fantasy pluckiness to launch the new season. Can we see the accounts? Thought not.

Jose stands up and shows some spirit, Morgan puts on a dress and starts blubbing. What's French for sort yourself out you big girl.

I'm bored. Can someone find that link to Moneypenny going off the top board like a wardrobe in a swimsuit and emptying the pool - it gets funnier with every viewing.

While I would like to see more quality added before the end of the window, had the board turned down the crazy money offered for some of those players, that would have needed some explaining. Every player has his price, we have done very good business, now we need to strengthen. If that doesn't happen, then I'll be waving my little hankie with the rest of them.

Mero is right about attendances holding up, they've got the pricing right for an injection of capital in the summer, but I think the unusual release of figures for just 11 months trading raised a few eyebrows and hinted that perhaps the 12th month don't look too pretty. After pompey outbid better financed clubs last season and continues to beg, we are not convinced that the leopard has changed it's spots. The constant spin about how fantastic the failure to hit the training ground target is, just reinforces the feeling that the easily-led are once again being led.

Indeed he is a villain, a greedy mercenary, one of the blokes who demanded to be paid his wages - most of which he is still waiting for each month. And here he is now, bold as brass, strutting about like Mr Superstar, helping their fundraising efforts. What a ****.

Whether they hit the target or not I'm sure it will be yet another resounding success, blazing a trail for lesser clubs to follow.

Anyway, there was this skate in my road who was loving it when we were struggling, and he was all over it giving it large when they beat us at SMS. I played the bigger man and chatted to him about the game, then he started going on about how Cortese was selling the club back in 2010, and lots of other Portsea pub myths he had heard and was peddling as gospel truth. I've not seen him for ages as I thought he'd moved, but this afternoon, hey presto, I saw him creeping out of his house. He's only been hiding from me for four fricking years! They only chat when they're winning...

I agree, top marks for that, but I'll get back on message when I find another stick to beat them with.

I can see why the bookies would give short odds to a club that was harshly treated by the football authorities but has bounced back from financial problems through hard work, honest endeavour and good management...

Yeah that's all great but more importantly we don't get to vote on our match programme cover. I'm not going to another game until we introduce design democracy. I'll be in the car park brandishng my season ticket at an Echo photographer if you need me.

Personally I'd have gone for Floodland but great to see mentions on here of The Sisters, Carter, Billy, Scoobius, Joy Division - you don't all lack taste.

Yes it is a good number sold, but if it's the same as last year it's cheaper to buy a season ticket if you are likely to attend more than half the games - and that's why their walk-up numbers suffered. That said, it is a reminder to football about pricing - better to have a stadium more than half-full with less income. Not that it's a problem in Division Four but even Sky don't want empty stadiums as a backdrop for their great product, they want people to think they are watching the hottest ticket in town. Fans have said before that all clubs should sell as many season tickets as possible. They don't want to! A sensible business wants a decent cash injection as capital BUT significant numbers still paying premium rates for the whole season. Take our case, if we cut prices and sold 28,000 season tickets that worked out at £20 a game we'd have already sold to all those wavering people willing to pay up £38+ on a pretty regular basis. You need balance - unless you have a cashflow problem and you are desperate to get money in before August so you operate a cut-price sales policy and hope that the cashflow shortfall later in the season is covered by parachute payments that no longer exist, or property developers who will claim another chunk of the business. yours faithfully Jealous bitter scummah nutjob.

Voting for a cover design?? Really? How on earth can they get anything done if they want to involve anyone whose donated money?? I don't want Cancer Research or Oxfam ringing me every five minutes seeing what I think about their website or their latest leaflet. Just get on with the research and give kids some clean water! Fatpipes is turning into some mad hardline socialist republic where everyone has a voice and nothing gets done. If that's the way they want to go, just sack Awford now instead of in November, and give his job to the Dave Clark Five.

I think we'll struggle to rip off the same number of pensioners, maim the same number of kids, or launder the same amount of drugs and prostitution money - but then again we never have been able to compete with their glorious history.

Ha! I did note that some have a very sharp hero/villainometer reflex. But I'd draw the line there. I don't see too many people asking us to sign Messi, trying to buy World Cup tickets for SMS or distributing plans for a fantasy stadium. Thankfully the park was only packed with 4,000 the other night so the few won't have noticed our minor staffing problems. While there are certainly some bedwetting fruitloops following our club, I still reckon that when it comes to delusion and plucky bestestness, there will only be one winner.

Hand over the £100M we've just taken and Harry will build it and manage it for us.

love to swap banter Mack but we have a few of our own little internal distractions to sort first. NORMAL ABUSE WILL BE RESUMED SHORTLY

While I'm not one for kneejerk bedwetting, it has reached a point where we are obviously now willing to sell anyone. Though the nagging worries are controlled a little by the stupid money banked. But whatever Les Reed says, we are clearly a selling club and currently everyone has their price. So this summer is a great opportunity for the likes of United to bolster their academy by taking three or four unproven youngsters nice and cheap. So please Les, halt my rising panic by GOING OUT AND BUYING SOME FRICKING PLAYERS ASAP!!! #confused

didn't know we had one!

I only knew him through Carter, didn't know the local connection. A character who demanded abuse from the audience and got it. Rest in peace you fat bastard. Having said that he didn't want peace.... So rest in effing punk rock chaos Mr B - stick it up to 11! Keep rocking.

it's funny how football's pressures change as you go through the leagues. Barcelona's only acceptable season is to win EVERYTHING. Liverpool have to win the Premier League. Spurs MUST finish in the top four. We are worried because we have taken about £100M in transfer fees and have yet to re-invest. Brighton are desperate to finance a promotion challenge. Bournemouth are gathering a squad to try and stay in the Championship. And pompey have to decide whether they should get someone to run an iron over their press conference tablecloth, or spend the money on begging buckets.

While I too am uncomfortable with some of the sales, I'll only kick-off if we don't strengthen. I think we've been unlucky with clubs making us offers only a madman would reject. People have paid stupid money for a couple of players. I would have thought that an asset-stripper wouldn't bring in a decent manager or sign anyone. Also, if the manager was asked whether he could replace Chambers or Shaw for £10M, he might have replacements up his sleeve tomorrow. Might....so I'll give the board time to rebuild, and if they don't, then I'll start shouting and chucking things around. The next couple of weeks will confirm the next five year plan, or demonstrate that we don't have one.

It’s a timely gesture, with the share issue scheduled to end on Thursday, July 31. No, it's a timely press release that attempts to drag the last dirty quid out of a Portsea resident who can't grasp the differences between charity, shareholding or begging.