rallyboy

547 retweets? Wow - that's nearly as many times as Lord T has posted on this 1,948 page thread in the last week. Though if we look at that 547 as the result of two CVAs, it actually translates back up as 13.675 million retweets. Seasonally adjusted and spun in a Portsea myth factory we are then looking at 100 million retweets. It makes them the biggest club in Europe, and confirms the few as the most active social media following in world sport. So many webby fingers to fit onto keyboards, a great effort. Amazing support.

I can't even understand half of those posts. There was something celebrating a serious injury and laughing about a professional footballer in agony, some stuff from 70 years ago, then some more gibberish written in pikish. They may well have their glorious victory over Hartlepool in front of a 25% empty bearpit of a fortress, but Ted is still waving them goodbye. Trouble is he can't even see them from where he is, there's about 80 league clubs in the way.

It's really honest of the current pompey management offering to revisit all financial agreements since 2009, and presumably, to settle all that debt they walked away from...twice. But if it comes to it, my money will be on the scouse legal team.

Yes, I seem to recall a few sister-bothering, heather-selling, tooth-free, bath-dodging, cross-eyed simpletons gobbing off about how we had borrowed £35M and were insolvent. Cue further myths. And Nutjobs may be obsessed with another club, but they are generally pretty savvy about their own too. But for the few to comment on our finances is a bit rich as they have neither grasp of basic maths nor a fricking clue what is going on in their own balance sheets! We are just the same as Man Utd as they have debt too...scummahs ripped off charities so their admin was identical to ours....we are debtfree....we have the lowest wagebill in the division....we've been punished twice for the same offence....parachute payments are ringfenced and will cover that....etc

I thought this had already been dismissed as a pub myth, but if true, shouldn't any potential money be owed to administrators/creditors of the previous businesses? Would that would have been a clause from the admin before last? Not sure how any normal business could have a legal claim to that historic agreement. Either way, come on anyone else!

if they string several results together now we might just have to thank Mr McInnes for such an appalling appointment mid-season. Had they employed a sensible manager then, they would now be right up there in the play-offs and gobbing off about promotion. I salute the Trust for their work - long may they control the destiny of the south's pluckiest minnow.

I've just seen the BBC stats - 53%-47% possession? More like 80-20 you clowns. Let's see them try to dress it up on Match of the Day as if there were two teams on the pitch.

The mental state of Nutjobbery is more of a curse than a group that you belong to, so Landford, you are a sufferer like the rest of us. You have made the bravest step, standing up and finally admitting it to yourself that you have a problem. That obsessive looking at the thread, the following of bizarre links, all those balance sheets, the laughing out loud to yourself at the oddest things - how many years of your life has been lost in here? Yes, you have learned a great deal about legal and financial matters and even how to construct a paragraph of more than eight words, but it has to stop. Sadly Nutjobbery has spread to the east now, Brighton is reporting an increase in cases. Someone needs to do something, perhaps we could have a fundraiser to research the disease - and in the true spirit of the genre, we could pretend to hand over a cheque to someone who needs it but we could keep the cash and spend it on prossies!

Would? Have!

What a fantastick seasin, we got nocked out of cups by teams I'd not neva eard of way befour chrismas, and got relegated rite out of da leeg! But on da plus side, I own some well valubel shares, I got to boo a lot, tort me kids how to spit at the chairman, and me and my mate the mid-op tranny, p!ssed on a coach dats worf more than our stadeum - shortly before wee bofe got sacked. We still larf now -it was brill!

In portsmythmatics 5-2 is a clear stalemate, a draw, the board is split right down the middle - it could go either way, who gets the casting vote? Or is it that the three members of the Trust are split 2-1 and the other four don't give a sh!t as long as they get a supermarket?

I know that my view that they have suffered some punishment has been dismissed by some in the past, but let's be realistic here. While the football authorities have let them off on several occasions, particularly on the groundbreaking failure to delay the points deduction last season, and they have escaped winding-up when that was the obvious action for a 'normal' business, let's not pretend they have got away with much. Look at the league table - they were in the Premier League, they will never go there again. Yes, they've dodged debts and legal processes, escaped punishment for financial irregularities and false ownership, but the sporting gods of Karma have been kicking the living crap out of them for years now. You show me a pompey fan who feels that they haven't suffered at all, and I'll show you a toothless simpleton with no grasp of reality. If I was an eccentric friend of Glenn Hoddle I might even suggest that they are paying for sins in a previous life. Which works for me. So, though the justice hasn't come from the correct quarters, it is being dished out. If Karma can just find one final push, they will be over the line and justice will have been served. Still not convinced that they have suffered? To put it into context, look forward to 2019 and imagine West Ham, Aston Villa or Sunderland, one place off relegation to non-league - that would be the bestest decline in world football. The few might still be smugly claiming the cup, but I 4-1 know that inside, they are sobbing like girls.

JOBSITE AD - Temporary role as caretaker hero. Possible Opportunity. Chance for really poor manager to come in, to have no effect, but to take responsibility for a couple of scratchy results that will keep a team in the football league. The successful candidate will be expected to have a track history three divisions higher and no self respect - they will also be asked to rebuild quite badly in the summer, while pretending they knew nothing about the finances, and moaning about lack of funds. They will also be responsible for delusional press conferences and be expected to work to a standard media template regarding fans, the club, performances, and the rewriting of history as it happens. After a short trial period as a hero the candidate is likely to be abused both verbally and physically, there may be a request for the inevitable payoff to be deferred at this time too. Wages will be much higher than elsewhere, but there is a pretty good chance the lucky winner won't actually get them. This is a prestigious role working with some of the best fans, the most experienced management structures in world sport, and with no real budget limitations of any sort. It's nothing to do with property developers at all. So if you think you have what it takes to revive the sleepiest giant ever, send your CV, wrapped around a bottle of pre-2000 Bollinger, to Mr McInnes, The Fortress Fatpipes Harbourdome, Debt Lane, Delusionton, Portsea, P1 K3Y. These contracts tend to run for about seven months, three of which will be unpaid. Those who fail to attach a stamp will be looked upon favourably. If you are still owed money from your last stint in this role, you need not apply.

You know it's over for Barker when the portsmyth factory starts churning out stories designed to damage him. Did he really shrug off a fan's criticism with, 'you've been relegated before' or start rucking with people in the family section in front of kids? I can spot a PR campaign when I see one. But now these facts are out there amongst the simple people, he's had it. As for his coaching and people skills... Every time we think we’ve solved a problem and moved on to a different problem, the other problem crops back up again because of the mental capacity to take the information on board Meaning, the players are thick. While he is a dead man walking, nutjobs everywhere need to calm down. If Northampton cannot defend a lead against ten men they have the stench of relegation all over them, and there are about another three teams in that same smelly boat. pompey just need to scrape about two results and the greatest of all great escapes will be complete and written into the history books as a plucky win against all odds. How difficult can it be to score two goals down the bottom of that division? They will beat someone, the quality down there is appalling. And that's why I still believe that they will retain their league status. As if that is a victory! In the meantime, enjoy the ride.

You can mock but they still had more than 3,000 paying home fans yesterday, and if smaller clubs like Liverpool, Newcastle or even ourselves were in League Two, there would be nowhere near that on a sunny afternoon in March. Yes, they might be having a little bit of a wobble right now, but they are still a massive club with a proud history of winning trophies without cheating, paying off debt promptly, setting record post-war attendances, pioneering anti-fascism, and never booing or chucking coins at injured opposition players. So some of you smug Nutjobs might like to bear that in mind - especially as we are currently trapped in the middle of a post-Cortese meltdown of epic proportions that will see an inevitable summer firesale prior to the club dropping through the leagues like a single tear from a plucky Portsea child's cheek. We will never be able to compete with their history. Unless we can conjure up another four administrations, hire in some prossies, get in bed with Lidl, and shove some wheelchair-bound kids into a canal.

Another home defeat, no goals, blatant red card, clueless manager pleased with the team's effort, and the few are chucking coins at opposition players. What a lovely bunch. It's Eastleigh that I feel sorry for - the pompey circus is heading their way!

Back in August they must have dreamed that their star striker would score a late winner on a Friday night in March and keep his team in the play-offs. Makes you wonder why the Trust is paying him to play for Oxford.

Though it was a bargain, and I'm finding it quite a comfy swimsuit to wear at the computer, it's a little 'draughty' and the boys keep popping out of the barracks, so I might just use it to make curtains. For the whole house.

The main problem if they don't get planning permission is that their heroic saviour Mr Robinson's only interest in the club is....planning permission. Without the Tesco gig, for him it is like an away day at Fleetwood - there is no point. The Property Developing Trust would lose much of their financial support and be left with 100% control of a bit of useless wasteland. But it would be theirs! So I reckon the council will embrace Tesco and their lovely plans.

That is a significant protest. I'm not sure what the favoured route for Nutjobs is on this one. Tesco are looking to landlock the stadium forever and the future protection of the stadium now looks pretty fragile, but the only way the Trust works is with the property developers' cash on board. The club needs that money, and they have already dropped their pants to make it happen. With Tesco being powerful enough to push stuff through and most councillors having little clue about planning law, I suspect it will go ahead. In the meantime we will have to put up with more made-up figures about income for the city, and job numbers will be conjured from thin air - plus threats that the club will fold if the nasty local community prevents the supermarket from happening. All these arguments will be put forward by politicians who are interested in nothing more than harvesting the votes of the dim. The whole farce is a big paperbag of sh!t. Sick buckets at the ready, if it all kicks off the plucky poster children of the far right will be wheeled out again to give more pocket money.

Before they spend their winnings on horse brass, tarmacing equipment and bouncy castles, perhaps plastic surgery should be their first priority? But I have to admit, that heather of theirs has been way luckier than I thought.

I just had a look at their run-in. Though I still believe they will scrape home, the few must be wondering where the points are going to come from. They still have to go to Bury and Northampton, Bristol Rovers at home, and just like Avram, those fixtures come thick and fast in April.* With a modest squad they are likely to run out of legs, so it could be a tight margin that keeps them in the football league. With goals at a premium and relegation likely to be decided on one result, it is a brave man who doesn't patch things up with Connolly and recall him. Brave, or clueless. *April works in Horton Heath.

I make that 81 league places above them. From memory I think they were 53 above us at our lowest point? - a swing of 134 places must be a world record, making us the bestest ever! It has been an astonishing turnaround. Glad I'm not on the wrong end of it, that would be horrendous - especially if I had been gobbing off for years between toy sales. I'd have made myself look a right ****

I still can't see them getting relegated and I fear a damp squib tonight when those around them fail to use the games in hand, but I'm happy to be wrong! Looking at the poor quality in that division I think you have to be exceedingly woeful to drop, and they are not the bestest at being rubbish - but it's March and they are still in the hunt for non-league football, so you have to give them credit for that. If they don't make it out of the division at the first attempt, it shouldn't detract from what they have achieved this season - and in the last five years. I cannot think of another club that has been managed so badly, over such a long period of time, under different regimes, and at every level within the business, on and off the pitch. The only thing still standing in the rickety ruins of the club is a little fat-driven spin machine that occasionally churns out soundbites about great fans and the massive club. And despite the calls for this thread to be closed two years ago, it's the delusion of the few that helps to fuel this corner of the forum - this little oasis of hilarity where nutjobs and their camels sup. Where else can you see a garage door in a bikini plummeting into a pool and emptying it of water? What other thread gives you international updates from court cases, free financial lessons, and pictures of toddlers going to the toilet in a giant potty that was drawn at a cost of £1M in architect fees? There is something for everyone!

Parachute Payments will cover that. (keep this sentence, cut and paste, feel free to use under any circumstances, it is copyright-free and has no expiry date)