rallyboy

Outstanding performances all over the pitch, epitomised by Ward-Prowse's crunching tackle near the end. Well I thought we were great until I read a broadsheet this morning... Our centre backs were awarded 6/10 - the same as Lescott. He looked like a man who had never seen a football before, let alone been allowed to have a go with one. Naughty media bias. As for the penalty claim, I was 40 metres away and I saw it clearly as a penalty, so what is the ref's excuse? Maybe he was just crap like many of them, god bless Howard Webb - the only proper ref I can recall at SMS this season. A great night, and a great day of results, but one swallow doesn't make a summer. Let's see what we do at Newcastle where the stage is now set for Rickie to secore his 100th, against the man who signed him. Get a result there and you have to say we have turned a corner. As for QPR, bring them on. Twitchy in the technical area, Cotterill muttering in his ear - we MUST despatch their side to the Championship and administration - it would be rude not to.

I told you we are being spoilt. Look at the Premier League results and table, look at what happened today in League One - this is officially the greatest day in the history of football!

remember the academy coaching set-up that was the envy of the Premier League? Well here's another deluded claim - this time from coaching legend Tony Adams... We had him on video and our technical guys, who at that stage were probably the best in the Premier League, were drooling. Yes indeed, everything is the best down there, always has been, always will be. You have to feel for poor little Bournemouth who are about to get a footballing lesson from the biggest club south of London. Though geographically, that fixture is merely two gobby old blokes brawling in the car park outside a title fight. If I want advice from someone linked to Arsenal who knows about coaching at the top level and the benefits of first rate analysis then I might ask Wenger, or even Pat Rice. However, if I ever need someone to drive me into a lampost at pace, Tony will be top of my list.

Trust hopes League ruling will convince fans to unite behind bid?? I thought they had united behind it already? That's what we've been told in this brave new era of transparency. The Trust assure everyone that they and their majority shareholding property-developing friends are ready to go, fully funded and just waiting on Trev - now we see a front page plea for more cash. What an odd angle to take when you have all your funding in place.... If I was touched by Nutjobbery I might consider that they've written their business plan on a cullender and are now making it up as they go along.

the maths is very simple!! 250,000 on Southsea Common - fact!.....sort of. 1 bestest passionate loyal plucky skate = 5 normal fans So that was one million on Southsea Common, and when seasonally adjusted and international exchange rates are taken into account, in reality there were £1.5M Fatpipe faithful there. After the 2010 admin that figure was downgraded via 20p in the £ to 300,000 fans. Under the current admin that 300,000 has been whittled down again via 1p in the £. And that's why their hardcore support is now 3,000. Keep up, it ain't rocket science. Next week we will explain how a 10K gate is in fact a packed park making you the biggest club south of London, how a court delay is a glorious victory, and how a policy of persistently paying out twice as much as you earn won't end in tears.

the doors are wide open for the Trust, the FL have given them the green light, Birch has the keys ready for handover, all they have to do now is put their money where their mouth is. So let's see the 'fan buyout' cash on the table, come on, no delays, no more excuses, chop-chop! And not borrowed or leveraged or part of a property-developing deal money - let's see the cash to buy the club to pay off Chanrai and the other creditors, and to cover daily trading. Because call me a cynic and a doubter but.....I'm not sure that they have enough money... On that bombshell!...

you are spoiling us Mr Ambassador with your hilarious plot twists! Newcastle fans get a chuckle when Sunderland lose, poor old Birmingham are in such a state that Villa's woes aren't that special. Liverpool and Everton are still deciding who is top dog, while Arsenal and Spurs take it in turns to underachieve. Utd will get some revenge on City this year but Manchester's rivalry could tip either way.... But come down south and the rivalry is now a fricking landslide! It looks like an electoral map of Liverpool - the future is redder than Avram's gravedigger face went, when his missus said she 'needed a chat'... Our chairman is a bit bonkers and we're struggling in the league after two consecutive promotions Versus staring liquidation in the face, hurtling towards non-league via multiple-relegations, record-breaking losses on the pitch, their fans' property developing scheme has hit the rocks, and only today their grubby pants have been tugged down again in preparation for further assaults. It's not a rivalry anymore, it's an effing massacre! We have been spoiled by this escapade, it's been way too funny, and gone on for ages - it's like the longest Ken Dodd concert in history, that will only end when he actually pegs it. So soak up these golden years my Nutjob friends, other fans have very different rivalries - they have clubs up the road that actually matter.

whoops. HNWIs are now in too deep, some of them must have put so much in that they have to continue, or lose the lot. I hope they like playing poker with a ruthless loan shark. And there was us thinking that Chinny had walked away from his money.... What happens next? The Trust continues to bid money it cannot afford, or steps back and looks to do a deal with the Orville consortium. If Chinny is pulling these strings then he is shoving Robinson out of the box seat and taking his place as the property developing landlord partner - whilst firming up his valuation for the court. Ten Chanrai Things You Should Never Do. 1. Cross him. 2. Borrow money off him. 3. Abuse his brother. 4. Underestimate him. 5. Play poker with him. 6. Get involved with him in a court case. 7. Shake his hand and expect to see your watch again. 8. Think he has your best interests at heart. 9. Be fooled by the scarf. 10. Ask his pet Administrator for an autograph.

I've been, a good weekend, decent circuit, sensible for travel from UK, take a raincoat. My hot tip is don't save money on the tickets or you will end up balanced on a fencepost a mile from the circuit. Pay as much as you can afford to get a decent view. And make sure they don't put mayonaise on your chips, it's just wrong. Once you've ticked off your F1 holiday make sure you go and see some proper exciting motorsport like a rally. RoundyRoundy is okay but get into the woods and witness the most fun that two people can have in a forest without Stan Collymore nearby.

in all fairness Southsea I think Ho did the bulk of the real work and you guys just kindly edited his madness into an easy-to-read record of someone's deluded descent into mental illness and beyond. No wonder the toy business is in such a state. So pompey head next to their current local rivals Bournemouth (Aldershot are on standby, Eastleigh wait in the wings), where they are likely to set a new club record for consecutive defeats, and complete the longest winless run in their two year history. The club is staring liquidation in the face, the players are now the least-plucky to ever pull on the famous shirt with velcro on the name section, and the city stands to lose £13M every other Saturday. They lost £39M last week alone - according to Penny. And yet you Nutjobs still pick on them? Out of order! Surely it's time to put aside all the charity-raping and creditor-shafting antics. Can't we just forget the blatant insolvent trading and the money-laundering attempts at gaining sporting advantage funded by child-maimers and organised crime? Those potless Lithuianian pensioners and limbless kids have got over it, so why can't Nutjobs? Even the terminally-ill kids have gone quiet. Ignore the rivalry, forget the disgusting abuse of Ted, the myths of Nazi money financing our club, and of course that difficult-to-pin-down dock strike. Just look at the league table and try as hard as you can not to be jealous. Because that's all it is - the little green-eyed monster is looking to the east and is jealous of the biggest sleepiest giant in world football.

that little chap made me laugh out loud! Which is funnily enough exactly what Svetlana the Bulgarian prossie said behind a skip in Horton Heath.

An injury-prone player in his mid-30s has broken down after a run of games? Well you couldn't have predicted that. They are just unlucky. Though Connolly stands alone at the moment. I've not heard him read out the standard press statement about the fans being the bestest he's ever played for.... Sodje said that a two-thirds empty Fatpipes with the crowd singing sarcastically about you, was better than a full Elland Road - so he's not mental. At least he hasn't lost his pace, touch, and dignity - as well as his marbles.

Can't be long before a bored midtable side makes a killing at the bookies with a 3-0 defeat at Fatpipes. (and no Detective Lazlo, I'm not that hands on, keep guessing, or eventually I'll have to tell you on Twitter, if you ever get back on there!)

can we just clarify a few things. When a pompey player is interviewed and mutters inane comments, technically that is not a rallying cry. It's just a bunch of words thrown together to fill a space, and distract from the carnage all around. The fratton faithful are not faithful, look at the empty seats. Ditto being the bestest. The team is not battling, it surrendered weeks ago and is happily living in a quiet PoW camp until the war is over. All this cliched spin was tiresome back when Grant paused between ejaculations to announce that we could never take their spirit etc. It continued to grate during Cotterill's hilariously shambolic era, it was comedy gold under the Appleton-inspired descent, but in the light of the league table it is now just plain embarrassing. The best atmosphere in world football. But I do fear for that day when a game is eventually won... Open topped bus tour, plucky headlines about the heroes who never gave up, the faithful blue army cheering the team to glory, the team that doesn't know when it's beaten etc. Brace yourself and get a sick bag, they cannot lose forever - even though it feels like it already. Because when that day comes, a tsunami of spin will wash away the facts of the last few months.

what's likely to happen first - a win, or a creditor to get paid? My money is on a win - probably against a midtable team that either gets hammered the night before, or is looking to clean up at the bookies. Keep an eye out sometime soon for some comical defending that would even make a Wimbledon goalkeeper blush. This Golden Run cannot go on forever, if you throw enough chimps onto enough football pitches they will eventually write a coaching manual.

four days away up north, thankfully just the five pages to catch up on...god bless the adjournement, I feared a News webchat as well, but I was spared the ordeal of ploughing through 20 pages. The comedy highlight for me was the Trust's legal advisers going into administration, though losing three home games in a week with minimum income should be enough to make anyone titter - and two against relegation rivals! Re a Kanu agreement, IF he has settled, that is news. The other players agreed to a total of £8.5M (?), Kanu still had still to settle on top of that, so football creditors were always due more than the remaining PPs. Any confirmation of hero/villain Kanu's agreement?

This current run of form is a battling display against the odds, one of the sporting stories of the year - the team that doesn't know when it's beaten!... Just a reminder of why you shouldn't be sympathetic (as if we need it), nice to hear pompey fans yesterday having a pop at Stains about playing at a half empty St Fairies in Delhi, where all the home fans leave before the end after booing their own team. Never before have kettles and pots been so confused with each other. Difficult to know where to start with that, it's like the finest comedy buffet ever laid on - help yourselves! Then we have the selective reporting of a disgraceful attack on fans at Walsall, but slightly less coverage for the alleged mass attack on Hartlepool fans in Fratton. Presumably just an editorial decision about space, or adverts. Move along now, no conspiracy here, no agenda, just balanced reporting. Anyway I have pressing matters to deal with in the north for a few days so hopefully nothing too bad happens to them while I'm offline, I'd hate to miss a frenzy and have to catch up 15 pages. (And for the sharp detective Lazlo who can read between the lines like no other - I'm not ironing kit )

That was a shame. Looked like they might get a point for a while there.... And then they didn't. Oh well, It's disappointing, but I think I've got over it already. Yep, I have.

we all know that we deserved the penalty, we would have been unable to continue trading for long without the parent company. BUT Southampton Football Club has never been in administration. The FL had to circumnavigate their own rules to impose the penalty. West Ham's parent company went the same way but I don't see them on the BBC list? Then again many of these pieces are cobbled together by sports journalists who have little grasp of the financial aspects, and that's why we see so many articles that don't understand the level of debt, the percentages written off etc. Once a sub editor weighs in with a vague headline, anything can come out the other end. It's like Chinese whispers, so when the easily-led few pick up a paper, they believe the lot, and convert it directly from myth to fact. Sports reporters shouldn't need to know about CVA voting precentages and the like, though I was concerned when a local business journalist had to ask random Nutjobs on Twitter for explanations as to the state of the court case after said journalist displayed the business acumen of someone who would struggle to cope with the concept of a paper round. By now you would expect someone in each media outlet that covers pompey to take responsibility for the technical stuff and get it right. But instead we get all this £60M debt, Chanrai owns the ground, the fan buyout, the Trust will have the keys by Friday nonesense. And still they don't report that not a penny of historic debt has been paid by the club. Though Nutjobs have done fine work educating the rest of football about the real scandal behind the fairytale of the media darlings who are battling against all odds. If nothing else I think we have all learned quite a bit about insolvency law, and where to find a local brothel that also sells vans.

If forced to reform, any new club would simply be the bastard child of the dirty old inbred, the result of a forced union to shaft creditors - a post-rape, back-alley sprog. AFC Wimbledon formed for good reasons, but any new pfc would just be created to avoid the debts. And we all know that they would try to hang onto the history - it might be difficult at first to ignore facts, but give it ten years and they'll be all over the stolen cup like Avram at a beach party. They are rewriting history as it happens, I see no reason to suggest they won't do it in years to come. Some pompey fans think that a phoenix club will simply be a transfer of fans and a loss of debt, but it wouldn't. There are many people who are fed up with football, and when it comes to giving up completely on a sport that has become so tied up with money, the few are the bestest. I've heard many say that a new club wouldn't be the same and they're not interested in it, any move from Fortress Fatpipes would increase that number. Their hardcore support at the moment is maybe 10,000 on a good day? 8,000 of those stupidly bought season tickets on promises of a great promotion bid. I could see a phoenix club with 5,000 followers and little in the way of assets - enough to claw the way up non-league and rekindle the media love-in, but not enough to worry League Two clubs that much. Whatever way it goes I can only see years in the wilderness.

get yourself a hard hat and a high viz jacket, give it three months and you can drive your bulldozer through dressing rooms, dugout, boardroom - and sit pitchside until the man from Tesco comes along to measure out where the cheese counter starts and the bakery ends. Or just pay a tenner on Saturday, whatever looks like more fun. They'll be the same number of people there either way.

The league introduced that date deadline to prevent clubs taking advantage of choosing to take their points penalties when it suited them. No one has even been this insolvent or acted this illegally before so we are in new territory, and the FL do make it up as they go along, BUT I expect them to use full discretion in this case and impose the penalty for maximum effect. It is a punishment after all, it would be pointless imposing it on an already-relegated club. If pompey are relegated under their own steam then I expect to see it carried over. Whatever they do it can't be funnier than a home defeat to Hartlepool in front of a crowd that fell well short of their own projected figures. These three home games in a week could be a financial disaster, especially for the local economy that is due about £40M this week. Any HNWI will need deep pockets and the patience of a.......person who is happy to wave goodbye to several hundred thousand pounds for a minor stake in a non-league club.

when you take his nine positive points and apply minus ten points, you aren't left with much. Completion by early March? Good luck with that timescale. They were going to be given the keys before Christmas, they had caravan parties celebrating their new ownership. But nothing has happened other than £9K a day going out of the door, and dark clouds gathering.

yep, you can forget all the court shenanigans, glorious adjournements and admin extensions - the real deadline is about football. The league must see new owners in place by about the end of June.* If they don't, there will no longer be a football club and big-hearted Chinny will reluctantly assist with the disposal of the land after the nasty league has pulled the plug or the potless Trust has failed to deliver. *June is getting very close now in financial and legal terms...

great effort there Crabman. And yes you should let us see some of the tastier contributions from our toothless and multi-digited neighbours, so that when we next start to feel sympathy for their plight, it will remind us of why we are justified in kicking the feeble sick perverted beast while it is down. I know I've taken my foot off the throat a couple of times but rather than getting a humble response it's just coughed up more scummah myths. So ignore the gathering vultures and the hilarious league table, it is still open season on the deluded few. As for a Todorov return - not that I've seen any facts supporting the story, but if that happened, it would demonstrate that it's still okay to financially rape charities and even your own office staff, and the mad insolvency disease is still there and untreated. But even they can't be that brazen about shafting their own backroom staff surely?...