rallyboy

so the fans won a cash prize by naively promoting a utility company's social media campaign... And after much debate about it not being used to pay off debts, rather than using it to do something useful, the club has indeed trousered it. Nice. Which means that the bulk of the bestest fans' cash prize is likely to be pocketed next week by Mr Chanrai. It's not going to clear much of his debt, but it's a start. Tweet an advert, win Chinny some cash. Well done everyone, good effort, not a waste of time at all.

A burglar?? The theft of £200M wasn't a petty burglary, it was a calculated and ruthless armed raid in which bystanders, taxpayers, and kids in wheelchairs were gunned down. And as usual this particular bunch of criminals and their accomplices won't accept ANY blame. No doubt it's the fault of the police for failing to stop them, and the people who made the sawn-off shotguns. As for the outbidding of teams a division higher who are not in admin - it's become a disease. The only way I can see it stopping is when the PPs are actually gone. They are just spending tomorrow's money today, and hoping the football creditors just fade away - tis the road to Admin IV, or is it V? And call me cynical but I don't believe the club's claim that they are not paying much. Mainly because they have been proved to have lied on every previous occasion on the subject. The managers and directors change but the policy continues. I await the next accounts, then we'll see who is playing for peanuts. Birch might suggest that outbidding other clubs is part of an effort to make the business look more attractive. It hasn't worked. You need to be top of the table to fool people, not in the bottom half with an unsustainable business model. Come on Birch, announce new owners and let them clear out the playing staff - it's Chinny Time!

I'm a little undecided on what could be funnier, Portpin taking control, or the Trust. They both have massive comedic potential. I suspect Chinny COULD offer better prospects for progress on the field as he does have some money, but he will also split the few into even fewer. They will Unpack the Park - which shouldn't take too long. Best deal for Nutjobs is probably the loan shark retaking control and offloading all overpaid players at the end of the first month. That would send a signal out to those who think he isn't serious about getting them out of the division at the first attempt. But he needs the team to generate some money, he needs a level of success, so I fear he'll stick with the plucky squad which is living off squirrels and cycling to away games. And what could become of UnAppy who slagged him off, and the Trust's PR partner The News? Both might find themselves no longer welcome at Fortress Fatpipes under a Portpin regime. Especially as they have appointed a PR company which has cleared up so many points from that post above. Communication is key, and Chinny has obviously embraced open government. The alternative to the return of the former hero must be a messy and drawn out bitter legal wrangle that allows the Trust to take control of a business that will by then have spent a fortune on extended admin. They would also need to cough up for the ground. Looking at it that way, the best deal for the few is in reality, probably the loan shark. If they really love the club they may have to just let it go - to fight for it could be hugely damaging and no one would emerge unscathed. Methinks Chinny has all the aces, the Trust has an out-of-date library card, and Mrs Bun the baker's wife. So Birch has a selection problem - but at £9K a day he can probably sleep on it a few more times before it becomes unbearable.

Great fibs of our time, volume 35. I only carry a hammer in the car for DIY emergencies. Peter Sutcliffe 1979 This US tour isn't costing the club a penny. Cotterill 2011 No, that's just my wallet that you can feel. Jimmy Saville 1978 This squad is worth £38M. Storrie 2009 The whole tour is being paid for by their FA and a local businessman. UnAppy 2012 I tend not to pick up hitchhikers, Rose doesn't approve. Fred West 1980 I will pay the small creditors without delay. Chinny 2010 That John Terry is a nice bloke. Ashley Cole 2012 The charities have been paid, and I am a capable businessman. Lumpitt 2010 and a late entry Buzsaky hasn’t got any financial gain from it, he just wants to play football until January. He would want to be paid hardly anything. UnAppy today

yeah, the insolvent trading and financial irregularities offences do seem to have paled in comparison with the money-laundering and charity thefts. Perhaps the FL would like to address these lesser offences now and levy some suitable penalties - two division relegation? Or are we still waiting the results of the promised but mythical forensic enquiry into how money was moved prior to Admin1? So many offences, so few answers - even fewer sanctions.

I think there is £8M to come, the recent £3M PP in the bank should be gobbled up by running costs and Trev. I reckon that he will only continue in admin as long as he can see his own fees covered by that account. The remaining PP figure isn't even enough to cover the heroic players' future agreements which are approx £8.5M + Kanu. So rather than the Trust spinning this wonderful £11M bonanza awaiting them, the lucky new owner will inherit a shortfall situation, as well as the debt repayments. They will need to sprint to stand still.

T got a strait jacket? He isn't mad enough! - they've had me strapped to a trolley wearing a mask for the last year.... The Silence of the Fish. In conjunction with Deluded Films and Bestest Leisure, The Ho Corporation presents a hilarious fantasy adventure featuring ridiculous claims and boasting, fanciful transfer gossip, the persistent refusal to accept reality, followed by quiet reflection on how silly one looks, and culminates in lengthy but welcome silence. In a toyshop near you from Friday.

Chanrai is trying to sell them a rusting 1986 mot-failing Montego with 300K mileage, for £175,000. Imagine the club being able to generate the best part of £4M a year in spare cash. Ridiculous. Why is Fahim even considering that offer? More likely to see John Terry doing a remake of Ebony and Ivory with Malcolm X.

Let's be frank here - bears do sh!t behind trees, Glitter is a paedo, and Chinny is going nowhere without that PP money. The ones who might suffer are those businesses that pocket £13M at every home game - those burger vans and pubs could be heading for a slight cashflow issue. It's as predictable as a plucky News press release - The Chinster will retake control, and their already paltry fanbase will split like a Horton Heath prossie. I can see them having home gates of 6K and less before Christmas, and the sensible ones will be the passionate 246,000 bestest who stay away and refuse to tuck any more cash into criminals' Y-fronts. Yes, that admirable boycott will be approx ten years too late, and as hollow a gesture as Lampitt presenting a charity cheque, or Avram taking service station flowers home, but...... IMO the idiots will be the 6K who continue to fund criminals. So a free bit of advice offered in good spirit to fellow football fans - the only way you hurt a loan shark/arms dealer/organised crime syndicate is in the pocket - they care about nothing el$e. Starve the feckers out of your club, even if it means liquidation. Slightly too late I know but there is a lot to be said for death before dishonour. The war of words has started, now back it up - whoever the club is, I say power to the fanbase! However small, annoying, deluded and pikey it may be. We are right beside you brothers and sisters! Well not that close obviously as you fricking stink, but we'll be there in spirit if you chase the criminals out and return with a clean and legally-run phoenix club that competes on a level playing field.

this is the worrying bit...some of my lengthier rants take an hour to put together. Some pages can take twenty minutes to read... Add up the hours and I have lost literally months of my life in here. And I say in here as the main board is far less civilised, and the last time I actually commented on something Saints-related I was politely asked what I was doing outside the lounge. I find that the main board has less quality humour and more saint-on-saint vitriol, whereas this thread is a cosy but downmarket gentleman's club, and an all things pompey news portal and research centre. Nice armchairs, not much of a dress code, 24/7 access to world news on money-laundering and arms dealing, all supplied by a better class of internet timewaster. So this is a safe place, you can pop in and have a laugh with friends and mock the worse off - it's Cheers with an edge. But you have to know the demons within and control them, quality over quantity isn't just a mad Lampitt idea, it's a coping mechanism for addiction to skate-bashing. Avram doesn't go to Horton Heath, Peter Sutcliffe doesn't pick up hitchhikers, Rallyboy doesn't pay his fiver. He needs to retain some of his life in the real world, and restricting himself to three posts does that. And I've started talking about him in the 3rd person, which is worrying, he has taken on his own identity, he is a nutjob within a nutjob. Roll on the PTS social event - I look forward to putting faces to names. And so does he. The 2,000 pages party? Or I quite fancy 1885 as a page number to celebrate. The 1885 League of Nutjobs....the book that pompey's first goalkeeper refused to write, he was too busy looking for fairies on his compost heap.

let me just clarify the earlier question - I asked if anyone thinks they haven't been punished 'at all'. Did you think I'd gone as soft as Avram on a Horton Heath all-nighter and decided that they'd suffered enough? It seems clear to me that they are being punished, with every day getting sh!tter than the previous, but I certainly wasn't saying let's be nice to the poor victims of the nasty league, no, no - I ain't ready to hang up my kicking boots just yet! And if I ever do feel sympathy I just remember the slow-thinking, inbred, cross-eyed, toothless pikeys chucking coins out of the south stand last season. If the club goes pop leaving leisure hours to fill, their sisters are going to dread Saturday afternoon 'cuddletime'.

I know that many here want pompey wiped from the landscape completely, but after looking at the table, is there anyone who still thinks that they haven't been punished, and still feels that they have got away with it? Let's not forget that the cheating was uncovered in the Prem, and from where they are now they would need a telescope to see the top of League One. I know they've continued to flick the Vs which annoys all, but I'm pretty close to feeling that a form of justice is being done, not all, but some. To expect them to admit that the cup itself was pinched is a tall order, ditto the win at St Marys. That team they BOUGHT in to win the game was a vital part of the overall financial damage done around that time, so Karma has been doing a pretty good job. And while PES has his sensible head on - was it worth it? I realise of course that there were no financial issues prior to 5pm on that cup final day, but that whole period has directly led the club to the brink. Maybe one day a pompey fan will admit that 'paying' a 45 year old man £50K a week to score the winner against a bankrupt midtable Championship side, was not worth losing the whole club for. And I might think they haven't got away with it, but I'm no nearer giving them back the basic courtesy of a capital letter. As soon as a new clean club starts competing on a level playing field I'll give them some sort of respect. Though I would like an FA Cup draw...that might complete the justice process for me - it's just a pity that they won't make round three. Meanwhile, Birch has pocketed his usual £4,500 this morning.

they must be drifting into the territory of getting relegated on merit and carrying over the minus 10 to start next season. If there is a next season. Must have have been like a cup final for little Notts County, having a massive club come to town. No doubt the intimidating travelling blue army barracked Bart for 90mins and frightened the poor fella into a clean sheet. You'd hope there might be a bit of reality biting down east, that cup final is getting more expensive with every week that goes by - just need some acceptance of the reality and we are halfway towards having some sympathy with the few* At least there was one winner today - Trev trousered another £9K. *not really.

you're lucky there's nothing happening at the moment. Take a fortnight's holiday in a busy time when Ho was spouting and you'd miss two News webchats for simpletons, offers from the Redditch branch of Mr Clive, a couple of court actions and a brothel visit. That's when you lose a week of your life catching up.

Birch runs a really boring administration, he hasn't even signed autographs yet, AA was a laugh a minute compared with this guy. Five bids, yet nothings happening! Thankfully Appy has been on the delusion juice again to keep the comedy going. Appleton saw more than enough to convince him Michalik and Gyepes will be his preferred central-defensive partnership. The pair of them were up against some good, good centre-forwards on Tuesday night, let’s not beat around the bush,’ said Appleton. Swindon’s strikers are up there with anything in the division and I thought they handled them reasonably well. That's odd, because every pompey fan I've spoken to since said they could have been 7-0 down at half time, and the two of them looked like overfilled oil tankers that had run aground.

Conspiracy Theory no.2731. The new bidders look potless, have they just been thrown in by interested parties with crazy offers for the ground to support any potential valuation case? We'll pay £8M for the ground and £1M to football creditors... Bid clearly fails and is way too late, but might be useful in court when the ground is valued at £2.75M by Trev. If Birch does select the Trust, an enraged Chanrai could have a nice plan B up his sleeve. He'll go straight out and buy the ransom strip next door, thus maintaining his control over the club. He might need to outbid the assembled property developers, but it's worth more to him for leverage on the neighbours. It wouldn't surprise me if he's already bought it, or is finalising the deal as we speak. The Trust need to secure everything to be in control of their own future - and they can't afford that. They can buy the steering wheel, but the loan shark could still have the gears, the pedals and the handbrake.

the Ho comments are always a chuckle so well done on that, but the one that made me really laugh out loud was the fan that is worried that Cortese will try to pinch Appy off them! Come on, who was that? Surely no pompey fan is that deluded. And Appy's judgement has to be questioned when he looks around the league and applies for the only job that looks like more hassle than the one he has already. Out of the frying pan into the unserviced toilet pit at Reading festival on the final night.

nice one Phil, well spotted. So over the next couple of years pompey pay Chinny back his meagre £5M of carried forward debt. They use the club overdraft to do this, thus creating a further £5M debt to Chinny. He doubles the FL debt limit, and the interest ticks along at whatever rate he plucks out of the air. If they buy the extra land in the same way and bring it all together in a simple to sell package, Chinny has his £18M - with full approval from the FL. The only thing that can go wrong is the club fails to generate enough income to meet the most modest of payments and he has to cut costs and asset strip to the bone. A further relegation and attendance drop could leave Chinny exposed to more losses. Just like loan sharks everywhere, he loves taking risks, and he's all heart. Though as Nutjobs who look for conspiracy theories at every turn, we could have it all wrong. Maybe this time he really is falling in love with the club.

play the kids!, they screamed from the deserted Fatpipe End And down on the hallowed turf, goalscorer and pompey reject Ritchie could only gasp at the irony of the lockable stable door concept being suggested - long after the horse has not only bolted, but lived a long and happy life, sired grandchildren, retired to the country, passed away peacefully, and been consumed by Harry's thieving dog, with a side order of Winalot. Cotterill was a legend for keeping up the most expensive squad in the division and then launching them to the exit, Avram was even more of a legend for relegating one of the highest paid squads in the division. So I see no reason why Appy can't confirm his own legendary hero status by matching our record of getting out of two divisions in consecutive seasons. Back-to-back Appy! Meanwhile, where are we on these players now? They were heroes for going on a free holiday, and even more heroic for snubbing less money at bigger clubs. But tonight we've established that many were rejected from Fleetwood to Barnet for good reasons, so have one or two of them slipped across the border from HeroTown to VillainVille yet?

after a decade of hunting through war crimes tribunals and court lists have we finally stumbled across the one bloke in the universe who might fail a FaPPT? I can't see his performance at Watford doing him any favours, though people who don't exist have passed, so he might be okay. I guess we need the dream ticket of underfunded charlatan and taxman's favourite Bassini taking the helm, with funding and 'advice' from Al Fahim and his torturing friends. This new consortium could offer the Trust a place on the board, trouser their pledges, and rely on their professional expertise for the big business decisions. Surely this tight-knit, focussed, and united team of directors could only succeed? Obviously they'll still be controlled by Chanrai who would retain his hold over all assets while awaiting the inevitable missed payment. What could go wrong? Their first appointments could be Lampitt to plan budgets and strategy, and Cotterill as a director of football, to help the future England manager Appleton invest his new promotion warchest in a plucky band of battling troops who could be roared to victory by the travelling army that would embrace the new dawn for this massive club. They might want to think about a plumber too. If this comes to pass, that's not alarm bells you'll be hearing, it'll be the sound of screeching tyres from Birch's Bentley as he leaves the scene of his crime.

Have they missed another wagebill?.... As for the new owners elect - enthusiastic, hearts in the right place - but don't tell us they're professional. Unlike PES, peering through his blue-tinted spex that block out anything that looks like an obstacle, I've seen no indication from their efforts so far that the Trust is a slick outfit. I don't see anything more than a few well-intentioned football fans doing their best to save a club - but big business requires way more than that, you only have to look at bigger clubs like Exeter to see how tough a fan-takeover was. The pompey Trust members have regularly demonstrated that their plans don't make sense, that they are desperately short of funding, their grasp of the law has been vague, and their budget to outspend other clubs while ignoring the football debt was plain bonkers and laughed out of FL HQ. They've been forced to review the players' agreements as they didn't seem to realise that they wouldn't get the golden share. The longshot offer for the ground has been ignored for three months, and their entire plan relies on that offer being legally enforced in some fantasy court where legal fees don't apply and time stands still - and when they do get that nod which they obviously will, they need someone else to fund the purchase. And they still don't accept that they can be outbid by £1, everytime they go head-to-head with the loan shark. Birch doesn't take them seriously, and after I attended that meeting and saw their plans, nor do I. The Trust looks like it's on the cusp between desperation and unprofessionalism - a theory supported by their attempt to take on debts, yet refuse to accept responsibility for paying them.

when asked by the FL for an assurance about paying the football club debts... The Trust are arguing the validity of such a requirement when it is not even their debt they are expected to pay. Oh, from that statement the Trust is implying that they don't want to include the debts in their takeover. No wonder the FL want more information. The Trust needs both financial help, and PR advice. I also heard that pompey simpleton on Solent repeating the rubbish about most of their woes being the fault of the Football League. He sounds like he left school when he was six so maybe it isn't his fault, but you'd think someone would try and explain reality to him before switching on his microphone and allowing him to display his ignorance of the facts. And now they want the FL to protect them and keep Chanrai out of their club. But if a new cash-rich, arms-dealing, money-laundering, loan-sharking war criminal ploughed his blood-splattered tank through a puppy sanctuary, an orphan's playgroup, and up the M275 today, they would scream for the league to let him through their rules so they could scrawl his glorious name straight into their little blue book of bestest heroes. Funny how they only want to adhere to the regulations when it suits. That strict FaPPT the few demand could be the death of them - and it'll be the fault of those nasty authorities who still insist on trying to create a level playing field and a league of financial fair play.

had a pompey fan text me about Arsenal earlier. They hand Walsall three points in front of less people than you can get in a lorry trailer on Eurotunnel, and they still want to have a pop. Being abused by a pompey fan these days is like a homeless bloke mocking your conservatory.

one doesn't like to be churlish on a day when we've been 'fiddled with' by bigger boys, but it would be a shame not to have a little pop at the massive club to the east, just to cheer me up. The alarm bells should be ringing - the Fortress Fatpipe attendances are getting dangerously close to the cut off point where there isn't enough money to pay both Birch and the police. The only thing they packed today was three points into a little suitcase for Walsall, and some sandwiches to see them home safely. If they lose another 1,000 fans there will be a problem and Birch will consider he's emptied the gravy train and will probably hand it over to the Trust or the loan shark. His timing is looking spot on, when the attendances hit 10K he's gonna be out of there, because there won't be enough income to pay his fees. And while we are talking about the bestest fans, you could hear the Saints following making plenty of noise at the Emirates despite the score, but still no one claimed to be the best in Europe. There's a lesson there somewhere. We're both struggling. Saints are up sh!t creek with half a paddle, pompey haven't got a creek to sh!t in.

the players' agreements are in reality about £8.5M plus Kanu, so they could be up to £10M. The PPs are only £8M. So they need to save money at the moment to be ready to cover that shortfall. Instead they are spending that future funding to gain a competitive advantage. It's bonkers. Just as it was claimed about Storrie, and then Lampitt - but Birch wouldn't let them spend more than they have... Birch is out of there soon and doesn't care what happens at Christmas, let alone in 2014! I'm surprised the Trust haven't highlighted this as it's their income he's spending, even Chinny has had a moan about it. Perhaps the Trust is too busy celebrating the glorious victory over Crawley to worry about how they pay the bills next year. Despite all the chaos of recent years, nothing has changed in the fans' mindset. They are still stuck in this cycle of poor management that involves spending tomorrow's money on gaining an advantage today. They are determined to self-harm, and no one will stop them.