rallyboy

just checked out the fixtures and pompey are right in the sh!t. They need to overhaul both Coventry and Bristol City, which is unfortunate because they still have each other to play, so someone's getting points!... Coventry have a nice home game against Peterboro next week which if they win would take them onto 41 pts with five to play. pompey are on 33pts - defeat at St Marys would all but relegate them. Which is nice.

even when you have a bad day it's always possible to find something to chuckle about. I 5-1 think we should look for the positives. The plucky battling troops got clumsily raped by Burnley today at fortress fratton, everyone else made progress in the relegation battle, and tomorrow the CVA officially fails - but on the cheery side, UnAppy can play pranks on people until lunchtime tomorrow, so it isn't all bad! Pranks like, tell Ben Haim he's due a payrise, or tell Varney it's okay to tell your own supporters to feck off, that sort of thing. Or perhaps realise that you've been the butt of jokes for several months and it's time to go and work for a proper club.

the recent activity down the road has made Rupert look like some sort of financial genius but he clearly wasn't, let's not forget how his claim to fame was giving Nick Leeson his first job. His policy of building the academy and securing a new ground was excellent. Negotiating the most expensive funding package and mortgage deal in history was not. The lack of transparency with the accounts over director's 'fees and expenses' didn't fill me with confidence either, and as time went on it became apparent that Rupert didn't understand the connection between the business, and what happens on the pitch. The drop in revenue post-relegation was easily predictable yet no action was taken. His return to look after his own interests was damaging. He made some very poor decisions and he lost his 'customers' in great numbers - that final chaotic and misguided stumble into a points penalty summed up his tenure. Let's not pretend he was all bad, some of his plan was sensible and he had integrity of some sort, he was just poor at his job. The one that always makes me laugh is when people say none of this would've happened had we re-appointed Glenn Hoddle, the man who not only walked out on us, but a man who has failed at EVERY job since. But thankfully, Rupert and anyone else who failed to turn the ship around are all ancient history, just little toilet breaks on the crazy route map that has brought us to sanity. Re the present, IF we manage to go up, I would be happy to see us battling around 13th/15th, consolidating, but a relegation battle is likely. We've had a fantastic couple of years, I would be saddened if April's hero manager turned into November's sacking amid unreasonable fan expectation. So there will need to be a fan reality check on our status, both on and off the pitch. Those impatient people who demand we hoof the ball up the pitch everyone time we get it, or who think we can sign Tevez, they need to wise up. Nicola and Nige know what they're doing, so stop shouting sh)t from the sidelines. They'll spend what we can, but we won't storm another division. Yet.

I wouldn’t recommend these people unless they have the funds to take the club forward.... Says Peter Storyteller, rewriting both history, and the definition of irony! And as he's lining up another consortium and confirming what a great club pompey is - could he be the only man who still insists that the maiden voyage of the Titanic was an unrivalled success? And when he says 'lines up' - they haven't even spoken to Birch. Tyre-kickers. He seems to have glossed over his part in bringing numerous lunatics and criminals to the table, and giving his full backing to people who didn't even exist. Cheers for the suggestion Pete but it might be fair to suggest that you are in fact aving a larf mush. Interesting comment from Birch re history. It might be my special Rallyboy ears that only hear the worst BUT the way I heard it, he said that a new owner would in theory inherit the history of the current business, as they would be buying the same company. He then added that the current company was entirely different to the previous one, suggesting that they have already dumped their history? They want to hang onto the wins but deny any connection to everything else?...love the child-maimer's success but dismiss him as a criminal? Chant for Sol, but don't pay him? Celebrate Kanu's goals, but offload him like the aged donkey that he is? - it's a bit mixed up down east... Surely the fanbase has had enough. Keep on ploughing money into the shameful black hole of ridiculous wages, creditors, and criminals, or apologise and walk away from the train wreck? A new club, fresh start, honest management, core support seeing old school football at small grounds? Or more frustration as the long dead beast desperately awaits a lightning strike over the crumbling castle? It must be sad to say goodbye to 24 months of history, but it's time to call it a day.

while any effort by genuine supporters to save their club should be praised - if this was a racehorse they'd shoot it in the parade ring. There's no way that £5M will secure longterm control of the club. And there's no way they will raise £5M in a month from individual supporters. This is no more than a fundraiser for millionaire footballers. The supporters are being asked to cough up for Kitson and Ben Haim. So while something needs to be done, and genuine supporters should be praised - this is a non-starter and smacks of desperation. With any dodgy business the seller just awaits the greater fool and from the photo it looks like MoneyPenny is The Mayor of IdiotTown. The ground is cheap if in liquidation? You'll have to outbid a consortium that consists of a very interested multi-millionaire loan shark and a multi-millionaire arms dealer. And if we are talking post-liquidation then the protection of fratton park as a sporting venue is gone. The only way this little band of plucky heroes can buy into the club is with about £15M and the ability to generate more, and even then Chanrai will be in control until his charge is cleared - until they have that sort of money no one will take them seriously. The time has come for the council to buy the land, give it to the plucky bestest, and let Tesco cough up the mythical £20M. Possible scenarios? A. Trust raises funds to convince Birch they can make a go of it, Chinny has them by the gonads, the debts are worse than they realised - savage cuts alienate the fanbase, lack of quality leadership and internal squabbles about direction see Trust implode and pompey plummet. B. Trust doesn't raise funds. For me B looks easier and quicker, though with less comedy potential... Just heard Birch on Solent enocuraging people to borrow from a credit union to give to the club. Sounds like a gig for Chanrai....

is their poker masterplan really to sit there holding Mrs Bun the Baker's wife and a library token, and negotiate really hard with a loan shark who has a handful of aces? Mr Chinny's not going to take a knockdown price, he'll just take the ground - or make Birch sell it. Perhaps he'll let a consortium buy in and repeat his trick with the Russians? - retain full control behind the scenes until the debt is cleared - which he knows will never happen. All sounds a bit desperate - we established 1194 pages back that a new owner has to put real cash on the table, no leverage, no loans, no notes from a made-up bank - hard cash. Tis still the only answer, and this lot obviously haven't got any. I'm surprised the Ho hasn't popped up to give his personal version of our own financial results - glossing over the season they cover, ignoring the payoff to Pardew etc - I guess the fresh myths are still being prepared in some Portsea boozer. The scummers had to give away free shares, the bailiffs knocked down their training ground.... Any sign that pompey will file some genuine accounts at any point this millennium?

yep, looks like pompey are in the clear, they just need to appeal to the caring side of HMRC, appease the shafted creditors, and the child-maimer, and address the small matter of Chanrai and his secured claims on EVERYTHING. Yep, it's fair sailing from here. HMRC have a good record of agreeing to be shafted, I recall them once declining an offer of 99p in the £ and pushing for liquidation, but I'm sure they were just having a bad day. And it's not like the taxman wants to make an example of a football club, so yes, pompey are going to be fine. Loan sharks are renowned for letting debtors off too, they just get bad press. I'm sure that if I was a creditor owed a few thousand and had been misled into signing for CVA1 and hadn't seen a penny, I would rather give them a 2nd chance to rip me off even more. actually, I might just write off the pittance and dance on their graves....

The G Man is right - just because an administrator says there will be no points deduction means diddly squat - it's called the AA Way. Let's remember - despite all the dodgy delays and confusion, at the moment the CVA is fully on track so there has been no need for the FL to even discuss it. That changes on Sunday when Baker Tilly ask where the first payment is. Monday morning the FL will be informed that the agreed CVA has failed. If they choose to do nothing it will be ridiculous, and any credibility they had will be gone. Will pompey have got away with it at that point? Yes. Then the four horsemen of CVA2 come clippety-clopping into town. The chance of that being agreed by creditors must be pretty close to zero. The child-maimer might even take action himself and withdraw access to his land making home games a little more complicated. Even the FL can't pretend that exiting administration without an agreed CVA isn't an offence that attracts a hefty penalty. Birch is just desperately buying time by deferring wages and CVA, but he's stacking up more debt. And he's obviously worried about trying to sail a sinking ship through the choppy waters of a long penniless summer - a points penalty must be the last thing he's concerned about. Meanwhile the search for an elusive lunatic with money to burn goes on.

maybe they're awaiting the official collapse of CVA1 at the weekend before dishing out more penalties, but we all know the FL will somehow ignore that too. I see they nearly packed the park, just the 25% shortfall again - cashflow forecasts must be as scary as an Avram Grant bloodtest. But on a positive note, they haven't invited murderers in to launder money through the club for a few months now, so that's progress. Only half of their points this season were gained using money stolen from Eastern European pensioners - the FL seems to be pretending that hasn't happened and hoping it all goes away. Dirty club. They need to build a new clean one if they want any respect.

but Adrian, that makes the league unfair. If they were forced to work to a budget and had to play the kids they would go to places like Coventry for a massive game and offer an inept feeble performance that....oh, hang on.... Perhaps their definitions of quality and quantity hasn't helped either....after all they were UnAppy's quality battling troops that surrendered like a blubbing toddler when faced with the wall of hate in the Coventry cauldron of noise. I think in this Olympic year we need to introduce the non-competitive spirit that some people seem to want. The one where kids all run around together as it isn't really 'a race', the fast ones who have trained hard have to wait for the lazy b-stards, and everyone gets a prize just for fricking showing up. It's clubs like us and Reading that have messed up the league, working hard, creating a team spirit and coaching players to improve. The table was perfectly good before we came along with our fancy ideas, we need to get back to basics and let everyone have a go, otherwise it isn't fair on those who haven't bothered to budget or those who are just plain sh)t.

we've also established that there's a significant percentage who don't understand, nor care. Most pompey fans I see have no concept of the debt, they don't even realise that it hasn't been paid off. But they aren't worried, because the only thing that counts is what happens on the pitch. They won the cup - the fact that it terminally crippled the business for a generation is irrelevant - a win's a win! Even now there are very few who make the connection between massive overspending and long term problems. Rather than fearing for the whole club's future, most seem more worried about who will play in the next game, or demand to know why they haven't brought in a Premier League striker. I know this seems unlikely, but I know perfectly intelligent skates, who will not accept that the figures don't stack up. The toyman's myth of 'ringfenced parachute payments' and the denial about wages just add to the comforting notion that everything will be fine. They believe what they want to believe, and as with many clubs, some supporters are so casual they just wandered off when it got complex. Many people down east just don't care nor understand what happens off the pitch. You could liquidate and bulldoze the arena and dim people would still turn up next saturday asking why there's no game. There's no point in trying to explain it anymore. spot the difference for simpletons - Man Utd has big debt - Man Utd pays off big debt. pompey has big debt - pompey pays nothing....

recalling our own dismal seasons, the table can often look better than it really is. People were telling us we only needed to win 2 out of 3, or 3 out of 4 to avoid the drop - but having seen the games we all knew that winning 1 in 10 was a more likely outcome. So even though mathematically pompey are not far off saving themselves, the thought of them winning 3 on the trot is fantasy. Their current away form is being described as woeful - which is unfortunate timing prior to a date with destiny. That was a big blow today, well done to the Coventry reserves and academy XI.

that'll be fine in the loosest sense then. Not sure that the current situation on or off the pitch qualifies as my understanding of the word fine. Brighton are fine, ditto Ipswich - or even Derby and Barnsley. pompey are so far from fine they don't even know the state exists. What word best describes the pompey situation? I'm not sure one word could actually cover all the problems so I'll just go for desperate. While I too think they may survive, this idea is purely based on an annoying doubt linked to the ongoing lack of punishment for past crimes. There are no facts to support this survival theory at all...

The FL placated HMRC a while ago by introducing that transfer embargo for missed tax payments. These had to be notified within about three weeks, didn't pompey have ONE day to spare when they signed the pub thug released by Man City? Putting administration aside, they've missed tax payments so an embargo should be in place. And they've shipped out young players to reduce their playing staff so that they can plead 'bare bones' and strengthen their sporting position. Sorry Appy, you got unlucky there with their managerial appointment - I'll go with UnAppy!

Appy doesn't want to use youngsters - but he's willing to make an exception if they're from the Man City academy! Whatever their age, these signings must be an improvement to the squad - a squad with enough experience to get them out of trouble. We might learn a bit of their actual state when they play the Coventry academy and reserves tomorrow, (still under transfer embargo for the horrendous offence of missing accounts deadline?) but I expect them to get something there, and have enough to stay up. The points defecit isn't that bad, and with that passionate fanbase that packs out fratton park they should be okay. I'm surprised they've been allowed to exploit the squad rules. Again. They are still the only team in the history of football administration that has twice been allowed to strengthen. But Rallyboy you blinkered simpleton, they had to get rid of Lawrence and their keeper... Yeah, Lawrence was awful, as Cardiff have discovered - and the reserve keeper is on Premier League money so he should be okay. But vitally they held onto the outfield players they wanted to keep, and have added to the squad, spending money on looking after new players while ignoring tax obligations and ripping up a CVA. The administrator has chosen to spend money on the team rather than debts, presumably because the debts are so huge he can't even scratch the surface, and his only hope is a new owner. It's not been as blatant as the last administration when they traded insolvently and clearly misled a high court and the PL with fantasy accounts to allow bringing in players for the cup game, but it has been a bit naughty. And while they claw their way back from the brink with plucky battling troops at a packed fortress fratton, the debts and deferred wages will be steadily climbing and gobbling up the last few crumbs from the parachute fund. June looks a long way off - Ben Haim's wages and image rights payments alone could sink the ship - yet they still chant his name.

they only need 1,000 at Coventry because as Merson says, they are the bestest he's ever heard.... Though in fairness.....when he said that, he was hanging upside down in his seatbelt spewing cheap lager and amphetamines all over the dash of his smashed up Merc on the M40 - so perhaps as a character witness, his opinion on anything will be as sought after as a Christmas single by Myra Hindley and Gary Glitter. He's just lucky the other great fratton favourite Uncle Avram didn't wander by while the plucky little addict was hanging there all helpless, confused....and pretty....he'd have soon cleared his airways for him. Oh yes, the gropey old coaching genius would've taken him right up the nearest sliproad. They couldn't take Merson's spirit!! No, but they did take his licence - and his street cred. Looks like Coventry don't trust them to pay for more than 1,000, bet they are looking forward to seeing all these new Prem players playing against them - that transfer embargo for missed tax is working a treat. It's like the last administration when they just ignored it and flicked the Vs - come on you Sky Blues, go Robins go - looks like justice will only be dished out on the pitch. Bring on the derby -the one at the silent under-populated St Fairies in little Delhi, the ground repossessed by the council because we've missed tax payments since the dock strike and the support of the Final Solution, the ground where we give out free tickets to asylum seekers, terrorists and the unemployed, and boo our own team in the warm-up etc. The few are in for a fricking shock next month if they believe all the myths.

The attendance debate was settled long ago, we won, and without claiming to be the greatest in the world! - it didn't even go to a replay, we just used facts. Only attendance mentions on here now should be with reference to the cringeworthy claim that Fratton is more intimidating than the likes of Boca, Madrid, Newcastle, Celtic, Galatasaray, or even Liverpool. Players praised the few? Yeah, but only last week Mullins said he was really sad to go while also telling Reading he had his dream move. Harry said you were the best, then he said Spurs' fans were the best - Grant was heartbroken to leave as well, but confirmed West Ham fans were the greatest the following day - tis called PR. Scary place to go myth? Not a single Saints player batted an eyelid at the dirty children and cross-eyed inbreds when we visited the little museum of hate - we're all looking forward to SMS though....big vocal home crowd wanting to witness long-awaited vengeance, possible relegation looming... Yeah, let's see who gets the jitters that day in an intimidating atmosphere. So announcing that you are the bestest few is beyond laughable, it's deluded in the extreme, in fact it's mental illness - and the media is now taking the p!ss - look up sarcasm in the dictionary. Re loans, presumably Appy needs to order more squirrels, bicycles and tents if he intends to take on more players that aren't costing him a penny. I hope West Brom don't have an injury crisis... And up next, Coventry youth and reserves V the 3rd or 4th highest paid XI in the division - glad there's a level playing field. Come on Birchy, let's have some more cashflow news - found any yet?

yes we admit it - Terry Gennoe was caught doing 33mph in a 30mph limit in 1979. And you are right - this wipes out the last ten years of money-laundering accusations, tax evasion, financial irregularities, prossie-bothering, organised crime, kiddie-fiddling, war crimes and backhanders previously attributed to the club and staff to the east, and referred to on here in such smug and aloof terms. Our moral high ground has proved to be nothing but a sandy heap that has crumbled now our club's criminality has been so cruelly exposed. My cheeks are crimson with shame, our clubs are once again equal. And we nailed the attendance debate good and proper when you were away trying to avoid reality - one win and they all return...

Nige is in charge now - the days of Middlesboro, Everton and Villa at home are gone. We're the team that give other sides the jitters now. But yes we do need to keep our feet on the ground, same as we did this time last season. Just keep rowing the bus and controlling the football. And poor Bill, why do you keep reminding the poor bloke about his darkest hour on a football pitch?

following the previous few years, 2010 was pretty good. 2011 was amazing. But 2012 is shaping up to be legendary. Nige is right, we have to keep our feet on the ground, there's still work to do - but tonight's effort could define the season. This is the first time in about four months that the rest of the divison is soiling themselves at the thought of playing us. Nice timing. Keep on driving that bus Nige, up through the gears me old mucker....

I'd not heard of a reduction for a second relegation either, only TV money, not parachute.... Birch said there was £14M to come but about £7M-£10M was already accounted for. This left £4M-£7M to squabble over - before they started deferring wages. The players will have gobbled up another couple of million by May and the PL well will soon be dry. Once again Gaydamak and Chanrai are going to end up like two wasted tramps ransacking a skip and trading punches in the street over a single shoe that doesn't fit either of them. Which ironically, if properly promoted by Sky Box Office, would draw a bigger crowd than pompey v Birmingham City.

what a cheerful and charismatic chap the Russian must be... From that photo he hasn't been ploughing money into pompey, hes' been ploughing sticky buns into his fat chops - and regretting the decision to visit Al Fahim's tailor - we saw his orange suit two sizes too small... He looks like Adrian Chiles after he's eaten that awful woman who can't present. I still reckon pompey will survive this debacle - but I've no idea how that could happen, I'm just remembering how they've been in the last chance saloon before and pulled out an ace each time - but it looks terminal this time. And if it does all fall apart we'll have the Lithuanian government to thank for pushing the latest crook over the edge. Though in reality the final credits will take months to read, it's been a proper team effort to collapse the business so badly, so many times.

that's no age, and the fact that he actually did something to try and create a future for his club should be applauded - respect. Meanwhile, what sort of gate can they expect for Birmingham in a midweek game? Lose that and Appy's firesale kicks in bigtime. I still see no sign of a buyer and with Birch looking to halve the wagebill again it has to be impossible to sell in the current form. I note that the wagebill he's aiming for is the one that Lampitt was working toward from AA's figures - he only missed it by about 300%. Good effort. Unlike the tired PR that poured out after a dismal attempt against Bristol City. Plucky, battling, blah, blah, blah - say it enough times and people might believe. No, it was poor, toothless, wayward, feeble, unstructured - from all reports I've seen there was no sign of anything positive, just another nail in the coffin. In fact the coffin lid is more metal than wood now, I hope they've left room for the half a dozen we want to bang in there.

despite the misplaced humour of everyone escaping from pompey as soon as they can, and the fact that their 2012 calendar must be royally fecked, all three months of it - that's the worst bit of photoshopping since we saw a Lancaster on the moon - Appy looks like he's got less neck than Gladstone Small. As for any Liebherr family ancient history - it's a bit rich peddling that myth! One of the pompey owners was still involved in a war while he was sat in the director's box, lapping up the applause from the deluded - in fact he was simultaneously sponsoring warcrimes, and the club. When he found he couldn't afford to kill children and buy footballers, he opted with the one that gave him a return - the one that he wasn't ashamed to admit to. Arms Dealing 1-0 pompey. As for fancy dress Fail to Pack the Park IV - is it go dressed as a cross-eyed pikey who spouts sh!t and wonders why no one else cares night? Again.

so pompey have now sent the Ho out on loan as well. Has he really gone?.... Well I didn't like to say before because it might sound a bit rude while he was here, but he was a little bit 'special' wasn't he?... Putting all the banter aside, I'm quite upset that he's gone. Oh hang on, I've got over it!!! Bye! I give it a week before he's back - or sooner if they beat Bristol City, or we lose.