Lighthouse

Yeah but this is our horse.

There’s the ton for Gubbins, Vince still there on 77. Inching towards that batting point.

Pah! I can do all of that with a copy of the Guardian, in the M&S cafe in West Quay.

There’s not much in it for me either. On the one hand Selles got dumped out of the cup at home to Grimsby, whilst Jones scraped past Lincoln. On the other hand Selles slogged out a 0-0 playing against 10 men for an hour, whilst Jones bottled it against Wolves. It’s like comparing paper cuts to inflamed haemorrhoids.

And as many monarchs.

I think my favourite stat is that of all the managers to come to St Mary’s this season, only three have left without any points; Rogers, Tuchel and Jones. My other favourite being that this could well be the season we have more prime ministers than home wins.

Nope, Hummel have just opened a new factory in Khartoum and they’re planning to start churning out our shirts next month.

We’re going to win; the season we go down with our record low points total will also be the season we win at Arsenal and Everton.

I’m starting to think he might be artificial intelligence (in the most perverse bastardisation of the word possible)

I agree, not much in it. The difference is that the former was apparently at the nadir of a man who was finished and had to be fired. The latter was basically the pinnacle of anything either if his two replacements have achieved. I really wouldn’t have minded if there was some top European coach, willing to come in and turn us around but there wasn’t. It was a sacking for the sake of change in the vague hope that we might improve just because. It’s hardly as if the teams around us have been unearthing obviously better options either. Dyche is scarcely an improvement on Lampard. Leicester have Smith, Palace have Roy, Christ even Chelsea could do little other than shrug their shoulders and bring back Lamps.

Agreed. Some of the nonsense trying to justify these horse deaths involves an extraordinary amount of denial. One of the ITV pundits was talking about how people die in football and F1… we’ve had one F1 fatality in 29 years and when it happened the safety car rules were immediately reassessed to prevent it from happening again. Ride recreationally, ride dressage, heck I’d even be okay with racing flats if whipping was banned, but these steeplechases are just awful. Everyone taking selfies and drinking champagne whilst another poor animal gets a bolt through its brain.

18th, not 90th. People seem to think this clever stat of 90/92 actually means something; it doesn't. Any stat which would be massively improved if we'd gone down last year and were 9th in the Championship at Christmas is meaningless. Last seasons squad was crap, we didn't improve it enough in summer, so this is where we are.

With more points in 14 games than the other two scored in 17, despite not having Jones' easy run of home games and not having Sully, Paul, Lavia and Alcaraz available? I'll take that over this current mess, I genuinely wish we had a 'finished' manager drawing against Arsenal and winning at Bournemouth. It baffles me that people can't see just how bad our players are. They aren't losing every game bad, like Jones and Selles have them, but they're bad. 18th and a point off safet, where Ralph left them, is firmly in the territory they belong, whether you like it or not.

So that’s what you’d want if you worked for a company which was struggling and badly managed? Get a bunch of shareholders into your office and scream at you, "you’re f**king sh*t and we all hate you and want you out of this company!" You think that’s going to get good performances out of them?

I was being sarcastic.

I wish we were more like them. Those protests have really kicked the club into gear and got them tearing up the league table.

After beating Arsenal in his first game and following it up with a second win in three games, he now has one in his last eight. He’s just lost 3-1 at home to Fulham and this is from a manager everyone insists is gritty, hard to beat and grinds out results at home. He’s been there three months and Everton look sh*te, no improvement on Lampard at all. As for the OP, Ralph was never the problem, we just have too many crap players. Ralph had them playing greater than the sum of their parts and was at least in the relegation fight. With him gone, we’re just going to get what this squad deserves; basically losing every game.

Why does the on-field ref. need to check every decision? Complete waste of a minute checking that pen. for City.

Tw*ts, no doubt but I do think they have a point. The number of horses killed in the name of entertainment is unacceptable and the ‘tators just keep wheezing on about how nice their stables are.

If any of these players were running in The National, they'd be shot.

Everton have three home games left; Newcastle, City and Bournemouth. Surely, it's too funny to actually happen...

We should have got Dyche. He'd have us rock solid and well clear of the relegation zone, no way we'd be losing by two clear goals at home to mediocre midfield teams.

It’s 13 years ago today that the eruption of Ejfujfirrriefuloyullourerefooollferederrwseryylouedeueueloooo closed the entirety of European airspace for a couple of weeks.

If he does, he'll have to smuggle it in up his back passage and it'll be a bronze behind Hajto and Robertson, unfortunately.

It was probably the useless performance of Pellegrino in the same game that earned him a job as our manager.