Lighthouse

Are they sandwiches made from gay prawns or gay sandwiches, which constrain prawns? I never figured that out.

To the tune of Avicii’s Hey Brother: Hey Broja There's an endless road to re-discover Hey Broja Do you still believe in love I wonder? Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

We set ‘the asset’ round to his house to neutralise him. He knew too much.

If anyone offered that I’d drive Jan there myself. Ings, JWP, Romeu, KWP, Armstrong and arguably Adams we’re our better players last season and the reason we finished 15th and not relegated. A whole team of Bednarek’s standard would go down.

Even leaving aside the fact that Ings has only once got close to 20 Premier League goals, I do wish people wouldn't make predictions based on the assumption that we take him out the team and play every game with ten men next season. We're clearly looking at bring options in, if we can find a striker who will score ten and another who will score five, we've comfortably replaced Ings' contribution. It's not a guarantee but neither is it a mountainous obstacle.

I was talking about doing it legally, as opposed to finding loop holes which you keep quiet about. Why anyone would spend ten days locked in a hotel in Heathrow when they could be drinking their way through the bars of Riga and Bratislava for a quarter of the price, I've no idea.

I don't get why there is anyone in these quarantine hotels. The rule applies if you've been in a red list country in the last ten days, for which the quarantine is also ten days. So why not fly from the red list country to somewhere else on the amber/green list who will let you in and stay there for ten days? £2,300 would cover your flights and a pretty awesome hotel, depending on where you go.

See, my curse is working already and the teams haven’t even been announced.

A reliable source tells me we’re looking at 22 year old Japan international Ayase Ueda as Ings replacement. He plays for Kashima Antlers. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.

Rodgers is obviously a decent manager but personally I’d want to see how he copes with McCarthy, Long and Redmond instead of Schmeichel, Vardy and Maddison.

You can base something on the fact that Shane f**king Long is apparently a regular fixture in the squad again.

Upbeat and confident, I think he may have just re-tiled his bathroom really well.

The Premier League seems to have become this weird enigma where you can be absolute dog sh*t and still finish 12th or spend £200m and only end up 11th.

Just got back and have to say we were pretty poor. Long and Obafemi should be nowhere near a Premier League squad and Djenny is not a LB. positives were Livramento and seeing Romeu back fully fit but not much else. Perraud looked okay enough.

Reserve team or not, this’ll be my first game since we beat Villa 2-0 in February last year.

Gone with the never fail strategy of Richarlison, Pickford and DCL (c) in my fantasy team. Do your worst, Saints.

Please don't start this again. Personally I don't like being treated like a complete idiot and patronised by people who fundamentally don't understand the issue themselves. Worse than that, I believe some people responsible for the gesturing don't actually want racism to end. They want a cause to fight against, a racist bogeyman they can broadcast their moral superiority over. No there aren't. The message is out there and has been for decades. If it goes unheeded by some then you either need to accept it for what it is or try a different strategy. How is 'stirring them up' in any way conducive to reducing racism? When has that ever solved any problem?

I know you’re being sarcastic but I’m not sure that’s really the issue at hand. All but the most meat-headed EDL supporters would accept that racism A - Exists and B - is wrong and unpleasant. If there is any discussion to be had here then it’s more nuanced and involved. Obviously white people don’t know what it’s like to be BAME but then they don’t know what it’s like to be white, so that works both ways and makes it harder to be objective.

You do realise they tend to go for £40m plus as a starting price? I'm glad we're signing players who are untested at a higher level, they represent appalling value for money. We spent £12m on Shane Long, which is closer to £25-30m in today's money and he was thoroughly average at relegation fighting Hull.

Sam Gallagher isn't a Premier League player. You're going to have to get over that some day.

Never saw Shearer play for Saints but that would have been my shout too. Unfortunately my cardiologist insists that I put Niemi in behind Virgil, after the last few seasons.

On a serious note, it does put a bit of perspective on Ings leaving because he wouldn’t sign a new contract here. If it can happen to Barcelona it can happen to anyone.

Messi is set to leave Barca. It'd be funny if this lead to City pulling the plug on Grealish, with Villa having already spent the money. Not plausible but funny.

Good luck next season. Unfortunately for you guys, signings like Ings just put you in 5th-11th territory with West Ham, Everton, Arsenal, Spurs, Leeds and Leicester. Admittedly above where we’re likely to be scrapping but I can’t see you taking it to the next level.