I wish you luck Gemmel. I have 3, 2 boys and a girl, all now in their 20s. From the ages of 1-13ish it was fantastic and then for no obvious reason they turned into completely different people, unknown to me and the wife. As you say there is no rulebook, imo you bring them up how you think is right and then keep your fingers crossed. When I hear people saying 'blame the parents blah blah blah' I generally think it must be people who have never had kids. It also makes me laugh when I hear people saying their kids fell in with the wrong crowd, it's never their kids that are that wrong crowd. I think most parents try their best, but it's not easy.