Guided Missile

If you allowed every person living in the EU, one square meter of space, you could fit the entire population on the Isle of Wight. I just worked that out....

The net immigration "problem" will be very quickly solved if Labour get into power, as I and many people I know, who are able, will get the hell out of Dodge, as soon as possible....

I thought it may be worth looking at the Home Office figures from last September. No surprises that it was Chelsea fans on the Metro. When I last went to Stamford Bridge, in the home end, it was apparent they really do have the worst fans on earth. Booing Torres as he was subbed and chanting 'Fat Spanish waiter, he's just a fat Spanish waiter' and 'You're not welcome here, f*** off Benitez, you're not welcome here'. As far as I could see, they were mostly taxi drivers from Croydon and tourists, fresh from the club shop. Still, here is the league of shame, with Saints reassuringly low down: Newcastle United 127 Chelsea 91 West Ham United 67 Manchester United 61 Tottenham Hotspur 46 Manchester City 45 Liverpool 40 Sunderland 40 Arsenal 39 Crystal Palace 36 Hull City 34 Aston Villa 31 Everton 30 Burnley 29 Leicester City 28 Southampton 24 Stoke City 24 Swansea City 21 West Bromwich Albion 20 Queens Park Rangers 15

He traded that in for an accord...

Shelter is a charity that provides help and assistance to the homeless, not money to drug addicts...

Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me...

I put you on ignore immediately...

On second thoughts, fill in the form below and I'll let you know.

Send me a CV and the normal references and I'll get back to you. I usually hold auditions at the Pitcher and Piano on match days in March, where you have to catch the barman's attention within 60 seconds and remember the drinks my remaining 3 friends and I regularly have.

Keep your friends close and enemies closer, Bearsy...

We have other connections, as you well know, Ron...

Depends what type of friend they are, Bearsy. The ones that you are always buying a drink for, you simply stop. The needy ones you stop sympathising with. The self absorbed ones you ignore. The golfing buddies, you stop playing golf with. Very quickly, you trim it down to the half a dozen real friends that is more than most people have in a lifetime.

Tim, you mainly go to away games when they are close to you. We both know that, so leave it out and stop sobbing about the occasional beer you have on your own when you manage to get a ticket for home game.

Not me. Apart from drug-taking beggars, I have a dislike for many of the posters on this site and it doesn't take much for me to put them on ignore, (ask pap), let alone turn up at a pub and listen to stories about their sad lonely lives. As I have said, I am having a cull of a large number of the blood-sucking friends I've made over the years. Please let me know where the next event is taking place and I'll send some of them over.

Pretty obvious, really. Many, like me, have local friends we regularly go to games with. It's really the main benefit of a season ticket and to living in God's country. It's also good to have so many old mates, selected because they laugh at your jokes. I for one, get a real buzz out of that and it gives me a great sense of self-worth, one I just can't get from an emoticon:lol:.

I can now see what was motivating that guy in NC. Jeez...back on ignore.

My fantasy concerned you having a sense of humour. I bet you're a bundle of fun to have a pint with... Cheerio...

To be fair, I was talking about begging drug addicts...

If I confessed to ISIS that I was a non-believer they would behead me. If I confessed to ISIS that I was gay, they would throw me off a tall building and then stone me to death. If I did that as a Roman Catholic, the would admit me into the priesthood.

Beats beheading, any day...

Eliza Doolittle spoke English with a regional dialect. You speak English with an accent... Now, Penis Van Lesbian, that's another matter....

You're thinking of Roman Catholics. Protestants rot in hell for eternity...

I tell drug addicts who bother me for money in the street, in order to buy drugs, to f*** off and instead I give money via Shelter to help genuine homeless people, all year round. I just happen to hate whiney, needy, crack heads. Sue me..

Guess again:

I think the term you should use for me is worker. Read the facts and wise up: Wow, that's a new theory you've not come across before.