Guided Missile

Pity that level of charge is illegal nowadays, as you can see here. I think someone should report them, preferably after they've had the money in their account for a while. What a tinpot, amateur bunch.... Although...I guess they could now be a micro-business...

Mind you, if a dog got on the pitch, it would be mayhem. Sat in the middle, chewing on Rickie's leg would be enough to send me back into hospitality. I might stay and watch if the mutt started on Rooney, mind...

I have decided that I will no longer lay awake at night, worrying about the predicted 500 ppm increase in CO2 and the terminal effect it will have on our species. No, the real problem facing us is dark matter. Dark matter sends comets hurtling towards Earth every 35 million years. As solar system orbits the centre of galaxy, it moves around in 70 million year cycle. This means it would move through a dark matter disc every 35 million years. This corresponds to increase in pattern of comet impacts on Earth and scientists have concluded this could have led to impact that has been linked to the extinction of the dinosaurs 66 million years ago. I have spent some time on my computer, on some complicated projections and can predict with some degree of certainty, that a major comet strike on the earth is 31 million years overdue. I can reveal a graphical image of my modelling below: After the last major comet strike on Earth, it appears that no species weighing over a pound survived and the larger the creature, the quicker it was wiped out. I think the only option we have, if mankind is to survive this event, is to embark on a program in which humans are genetically modified, so that they don't exceed this weight. There may be some interim adjustment required, particularly with our race temporarily slipping down the food chain, but when Armageddon happens, we will be in a great position to crawl from under the nearest rock and watch while all the bigger creatures go the way of the dinosaur. I bet women will still ask "Does my bum looks big in this", though...

Yawn....

More made up, navel gazing, b0ll0x purporting to be a scientific paper but really a work of science fiction... Two main points from this pile of cr@p: What accelerated global warming over the last 30 years? The suggested mechanisms are, however, too complex to evaluate meaningfully at present. In other words, they haven't got a clue...

Good to see the followers of Malthusianism are out in strength today. Not many changes in the noisy and easily led rabble, since Reverend Thomas Robert Malthus wrote "An Essay on the Principle of Population", in 1798 at the very beginning of the Industrial Revolution. One major change apparent on this thread, is that we are able to feed more village idiots nowadays and they live longer.

The source of this data is from this publication by the CATO Institute.

The good old days, back in the era of low CO2 emissions: 1750 – Education Most children in England and Wales did not go to school, very few could read and write. Only the sons of the wealthy or the clergy went to school in England. Their sisters were taught at home. There were only two universities in England, four in Scotland and one in Ireland. Only men could go to university. In Scotland all parishes had schools and most children could read and write. 1750 – Medicine and Health The link between hygiene and the spread of infection and disease was not understood yet. Few people could afford to pay for a doctor. Only men were allowed to be doctors. Only simple operations were possible, because there were no anaesthetics. Most patients died from shock or infection. If you had a problem that was severe you were almost certain to die. Even having a tooth pulled out could be fatal. The average life expectancy for a man was 31 and for a woman was 33. 65% of babies died at birth. 20% of mothers died in childbirth. 1750 – Transport Most people walked, but horses, mules, donkeys, horse drawn carriages and wagons were all forms of transport in 1750. In towns there were hackney carriages and sedan chairs that you could hire. Roads were the best way of getting around, but they were incredibly rough and lumpy. This made travelling by road very uncomfortable and slow. The first traffic jams were seen in narrow city streets. In 1750 it would take you 12 days to get from London to Edinburgh in a horse-drawn carriage. 1750 - Towns and Cities 13% of the population were living in towns. Slum housing increased as people came to towns looking for work. It was very crowded with families sharing houses or living in one room. There was often only one toilet for a whole row of houses. Houses had no running water. The water supply was often contaminated with sewage. Rubbish was not collected, it was left rotting in the street along with tons of horse manure. The dead were not disposed of properly, with open pits for the poor. Nearly half of all British wheat harvests went directly into gin production. The ‘Gin Craze’ was blamed for crime, poverty and the soaring death rate. Some streets were lit with oil lights. Unsuprisingly, people weren't too concerned with climate change back then, although the weather wasn't that great: [TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD=width: 40]1750[/TD] [TD=width: 549] A very thundery year, with severe thunderstorms & hail causing flooding on the 11th & 24th July in this year.[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=width: 40] 1751-1760 (10 years)[/TD] [TD=width: 549] In England, the summers of this period were the wettest in a record that began in 1697. These 10 wet summers in a row produced an overall anomaly of 127% of the modern-era mean. 1751 in particular is regarded as a notably wet year, at least in the London/SE region. It included a wet March, a wet first two-thirds of May and some severe thunderstorms & flooding in November. The 1752 summer (London/SE) was noted as 'cool & damp'. More wet summers for London/SE in 1755, 1756 & 1758.[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE]

Another hockey stick graph:

Seems like the only answer is to drastically reduce the global population to pre-1750 levels, when, for instance, the population of the UK was 11M. Mind you, the average lifespan in the UK was 30 in 1750. We really have screwed up the planet, haven't we?

As in special needs...

The IPCC updates it's projected near term temperature change in the final draft of AR5: Give them another year or two and they'll be bang on mine....

The whole scheme was a criminal act, i.e. stealing taxpayers money. £3M spunked and more to come, just to knock it down...

I heard from a decent source last night that following a survey of the building work carried out to date, on the Ageas Bowl Hilton, defective concrete was used, as the now bankrupt construction company, Denizen, struggled to control costs. This means that is likely that the whole thing will have to be demolished. Apparently the debacle won't cost Eastleigh taxpayers a penny....

Millions of years ago, in the cradle of humanity, Africa, it was much hotter than today. Humans evolved from from the hairy primates they were, to the only hairless primate on the planet today. Standing upright, away from the hot earth and able to sweat, the new species, homo erectus, was more capable of regulating it's body temperature and could run from danger or catch prey far more effectively: As humans evolved, they discovered that, in order to improve the mechanism by which they regulated their body temperature, it was possible to achieve this by wearing clothes. These clothes could protect from large variations in the climate to which they were exposed. Eventually, modern humans became almost completely hairless and relied upon clothing sold by such companies as Marks and Spencers and Next. It revolutionised civilisation and provided the means to protect the human race from the devastating prospect that the average temperatures on earth may increase by 2C over the next century:

So it was you and Love Me that were chanting Adkins name...

I've got Love Me Tender on ignore, but why does anyone give this f****ing windbag any time, time that could be better spent picking your nose. He hasn't got a f****ing clue, as this classic post will testify: I've highlighted the crucial phrases that proves, beyond a shadow of doubt, that Love Me Tender is a laughing stock and should go out, buy a bell, get a couple of tattoo's and fu ck off to Fratton.

The frightening thing is, I've zipped through half of my life in a few posts, so now is the time to slow down, describe things with the utmost accuracy and paint a picture resembling the reality, as I saw it at the time. My last job in the corporate world was on a large research park, just outside Philadelphia. It was there that I would meet the last person involved in the crime against me, a PhD from Yale, RP, who owned a horse ranch in the rolling hills of Ambler and was a research chemist in his spare time. As wacky, a swively eyed loon, as you would want to meet, his ivy-league credentials had advanced him up the feeding chain, to a position in which he was given a technician to do his bidding, a young(ish) blonde with a nose like an anteater, known as JF. What happened, on reflection, was the start of the intense jealousy the RP had for me, which would eventually manifest itself into that crime perpetrated by him and the punkah wallah, all those years later. You see, I was good at my job, because I had to be, given my background and I also worked hard to make up for the disadvantages of not being ivy league. For those that don't know, ivy league refers to the top Universities in the US, where you need to be both clever and rich to be able to attend. The 4 universities that founded this elite were Harvard, Princeton, Yale and Columbia, so RP and I were, in UK parlance, Cambridge and Solent University, in comparison. I had a few other things going for me at the time, however, in addition to native cunning and hard work. I had an English accent and didn't look like Elephant Man, which meant that the female technicians were attracted to me, like flies to sh !t. "I just love your accent, John", they's say. "That's a coincidence, because I just love your t!ts", I'd say, trying to sound like Hugh fu%%ing Grant, and they'd laugh said t!ts off. It also helped that my boss at the time, IA, a jewish scientist with a wicked sense of humour, was an anglophile. Unfortunately for RP, his sense of humour was wearing a bit thin with the wacky ideas that RP was coming up with, and even thinner with regard to his frankly dangerous experiments and lack of personal hygiene. After a stellar start to my research career at this establishment, IA transferred the lovely JF to my lab and RP was left on his own, to be totally humiliated by the guy from Sholing. He had a hard-on for JF and I played to the gallery, even though I wasn't attracted to her in the slightest, even when drunk. First it was the nose, but during the first few weeks she worked for me, this little Italian American used to regale me with what she got up to at the weekend, with a certain married Afro-American, in the woods around Philly. "Once you go black, you never go back", she said, while complaining about the poison ivy rashes on her knees and I thought to myself, thank God for that, as it looked like the Anglo-Saxons had dodged a bullet. Anyhoo, RP would look at me with barely disguised hatred for the rest of the time I could stand working in this zoo. To put it in perspective, there was mass panic among 90% of the employees, when random drug testing was introduced. This is in a lab where we were "handling some dangerous sh !t, dawg," to quote one of the technicians from the 'hood. So desperate was I to return to a semblance of normality, that I started up my own consultancy and, given the choice of anywhere in the world, it wasn't hard to chose a Science Park, just outside Southampton, where I took two years to make my fortune. ...back to God's Country....

Back to the UK to work for a chemical major in Norfolk, which was and is probably the biggest sh !thole known to man. Mainly down to the locals, who, due to centuries of foreign raids, trust no-one. Anyone with an accent gets stared at. It was 18 months until our neighbours acknowledged us. Actually, they just talked about us, in the local, from the other side of the bar. A lab overlooking the Ouse, a view which didn't really provide the stimulation required and despite a couple more patents there were no sign of opportunities. Mind you, the benefits for middle management were limited to sh@gging whatever secretary you wanted, without getting caught by your wife/her husband. Grubby, grubby people and not really my style. My main memory of the place is the local myth as follows: If you visit Kings Lynn now, you may recognise the three blokes in the bottom right. I think they are local policemen now... Two more patents, two years and I was back to the US, Pennsylvania this time, for a bizarre two years with my last multinational before I started my own company and made my first million...and got ripped off for a bit more than that, by my long lost punkah wallah.

Apparently he's down to his last $2 billion...

I went out to lunch with a few of them and one in particular, always had a thing for me. I paid the bill and as I looked at the amount, I said that for that money, I should be getting a blow job from the waitress. This secretary leaned over the table and whispered to me that she would give me a blow job for nothing. Never did make it back to work that afternoon...

An Indian strolled into the bar, walked over and held out his hand, smiling as I shook it. If I had known what was going to happen, 15 years later, I would have shaken him by the neck, until he was dead, the son of a b!t ch. Ignorant of future events, we settled down at the bar, a draft Michelob for me, a white wine for him. PM was his name, a PhD who completed his studies at Ohio State and married a mid-west girl and had a couple of kids with her. An affable guy and despite going native, still had an affection for India and in particular, the British Raj. An anglophile and I was an anglo! We would get on fine, I thought, us against the Italian Americans running the corporation I worked for. We had desks next to each other for over 4 years, swapping stories, discussing physical chemistry and laughing at the "wise-guys" who worked in our labs, most totally clueless and always trying to steal a little idea from here, a suggestion from there and claim it for there own. After a couple of patents, one failed marriage and a pregnant new wife, I got the hell out of Dodge. A new Pakistani boss, whose command of German impressed the clueless Italian American running the division precipitated the move. A more deceitful guy you couldn't meet and he was only to last a year, after one lie too many. The fact that he had replaced my previous manager, who had been convicted of child abuse while I was working there, only convinced me that I wasn't best suited for the management opportunities at this place. This guy wasn't even sacked, but transferred to a non-managerial role in the next building! I bade a fond farewell to PM, an even fonder one to a few of the secretaries and returned to a research position in the UK. Little did I know that the smiling little punkah wallah, slapping me on the back as we stumbled out of the bar, would cost me millions a few years later, him and a couple of American colleagues who would blindly lie, under oath to a clueless British judge.

....from Gatwick...