Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 This morning, when I got into the office, I went to scratch my ********, via my right trouser pocket. Unfortunately when I put my hand in my pocket to do the deed I had my house key in there (yale) and then proceeded to slice open the underside of my testicles. I'm sat down now with about 5 pieces of kitchen paper down my pants and still bleeding; although it has slowed. Dont do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 I'm laughing, is this wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 I am afraid that after reading that I had to go to the toilet in case I wet myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Good grief man how in the hell have you managed that?! You sharpened your keys or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Good grief man how in the hell have you managed that?! You sharpened your keys or something? Now this is the key question in all of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 What type of lock should a key never open? A bol-lock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 good times all round. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 You should BOLT down to A & E IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 You should BOLT down to A & E IMO. You've unlocked a world of abuse now. Draino, did you yale out loud when you done it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 When it starts to scab i suggest you don't pick it... Nope...that's rubbish... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 When it starts to scab i suggest you don't pick it... Nope...that's rubbish... That's alright, at least you ain't a pikey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 this morning, when i got into the office, i went to scratch my ********, via my right trouser pocket. Unfortunately when i put my hand in my pocket to do the deed i had my house key in there (yale) and then proceeded to slice open the underside of my testicles. I'm sat down now with about 5 pieces of kitchen paper down my pants and still bleeding; although it has slowed. Dont do this. rule 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 rule 1 You want a photo of his nuts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 rule 1 Google image 'cut balls' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 22 October, 2008 rule 1 Pls see goldenballs avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 If you don't hurry to A & E you might end up with a DEAD bol-LOCK :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Pls see goldenballs avatar. It looks like an elephant tumour. No one's mentioned piano. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Is it still bleeding ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Is it still bleeding ? You can bleed radiators with keys, and with a name like Draino it makes me wonder just what he was REALLY doing................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 You can bleed radiators with keys, and with a name like Draino it makes me wonder just what he was REALLY doing................. Lolz, that's a good point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Its stopped bleeding, I think. I've got a plaster on it now; I simply cannot wait to take the plaster off later. I woke up this morning thinking, "Yeah, I feel good today!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_saints Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It seems your key was on the ball today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It seems your key was on the ball today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It looks like an elephant tumour. No one's mentioned piano. Why would he have a piano in his pocket :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Why would he have a piano in his pocket :confused: It has keys on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It has keys on it. It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_saints Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Oh dear oh dear. Please give up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Go on, get on yer bike! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 22 October, 2008 It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Yeah please give it up. A guy that unintentionally self-mutilates his balls with his house key is not a pedalfile. Although maybe that is where this all started for some of them, but I hope thats not the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Yeah please give it up. A guy that unintentionally self-mutilates his balls with his house key is not a pedalfile. Although maybe that is where this all started for some of them, but I hope thats not the case. Glad to hear your plumbing's fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 This thread should be in golden posts IMO, I have propper lol'd at it about 4 or 5 times! Good sport Draino. Although I would never wish such pain on anyone, Im glad it happened, as it has made me lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 a friend of mine ripped his bowlocks a few years back. he had been out on his mate's fishing boat and they were just bringing the boat back onto the slipway, he jumped off the side of the boat to help pull it out of the water and caught his nuts on the metal thing that you tie the ropes around (sorry, i don't know what their technical name is) when he came round the next day , he told me all about it and proceeded to drop his trousers and show me the damage........... (i still have nightmares now when i think about it !!) :smt010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 Yous lot really are a barrel of laughs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 22 October, 2008 Share Posted 22 October, 2008 a friend of mine ripped his bowlocks a few years back. he had been out on his mate's fishing boat and they were just bringing the boat back onto the slipway, he jumped off the side of the boat to help pull it out of the water and caught his nuts on the metal thing that you tie the ropes around (sorry, i don't know what their technical name is) when he came round the next day , he told me all about it and proceeded to drop his trousers and show me the damage........... (i still have nightmares now when i think about it !!) :smt010 Why would a friend do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Why would a friend do that? because he is a skate (no clue as to boundaries etc!! LOL) he is one of those people who has no qualms about getting his 'bits' out in public, or mooning to all n sundry!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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