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3004/3005 Predictions


Master Bates
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Going through some old e.mails and I came across (now cleaned up) some predictions for Season 3004/3005, ferck knows where they came from.

 

1 ) Lowe faces another 'Chairman Out Campaign' after his 3039th boss quits after only 3 minutes after Lowe declares there is only £3.2 billion yen to buy players with despite no full well, with inflation, that only just about buys a pie and a pint.

 

2 ) Matchday prices rise to £4000 per minute, holograms get in half price but are not allowed to sing, stand on the painted steps or sneak into the ladies toilets.

 

3 ) Matt Le Tiss XII Jr captains the other 10 Le God clones in the UK team to the 3004 World Cup (March Version)

 

4 ) Bill Gates retires to his planetary retreat 3.4 light years from here after Lowe turned down his offer to buy Saints in return for ownership of the Earth

 

5 ) The UK skinniest kid, Ruprect Lowe (the only kid in school who can afford exorbitant fruit prices) goes on hunger strike after his Great Grandad declared there was no money for Xmas presents this year despite record profits from the sale of land on Pluto.

 

6 ) Mike Channons robot horse 'El Dell' romps home ahead of the Terminator, Robocop and Maximillian in the 1st annual 20th Century Pro Celebrity Robot Race held in Stonehenge's underground space station uncovered when China nuked Prime Minister Lowe's secret lair in Cadnam.

 

7 ) St Mary's, now home to the to Rupe's Raiders Rugby team, shuts down after another champagne shortage in Rupert Lowe Suite 98. The other 124 Rupert Lowe suites have their own supply direct from France.

 

8 ) Snake Plisskin is sent to Portsmouth for not paying his 'long hair' license and is confronted by people he even calls uncouth.

 

9 ) It is announced the Itchen Bridge is finally paid after the council realise they now have all the money ever made and there isn't any left to give. They refuse to cease the charge though and will now accept personal property and/or teeth.

 

10 ) The Stone Roses finally reform

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Going through some old e.mails and I came across (now cleaned up) some predictions for Season 3004/3005, ferck knows where they came from.

 

1 ) Lowe faces another 'Chairman Out Campaign' after his 3039th boss quits after only 3 minutes after Lowe declares there is only £3.2 billion yen to buy players with despite no full well, with inflation, that only just about buys a pie and a pint.

 

2 ) Matchday prices rise to £4000 per minute, holograms get in half price but are not allowed to sing, stand on the painted steps or sneak into the ladies toilets.

 

3 ) Matt Le Tiss XII Jr captains the other 10 Le God clones in the UK team to the 3004 World Cup (March Version)

 

4 ) Bill Gates retires to his planetary retreat 3.4 light years from here after Lowe turned down his offer to buy Saints in return for ownership of the Earth

 

5 ) The UK skinniest kid, Ruprect Lowe (the only kid in school who can afford exorbitant fruit prices) goes on hunger strike after his Great Grandad declared there was no money for Xmas presents this year despite record profits from the sale of land on Pluto.

 

6 ) Mike Channons robot horse 'El Dell' romps home ahead of the Terminator, Robocop and Maximillian in the 1st annual 20th Century Pro Celebrity Robot Race held in Stonehenge's underground space station uncovered when China nuked Prime Minister Lowe's secret lair in Cadnam.

 

7 ) St Mary's, now home to the to Rupe's Raiders Rugby team, shuts down after another champagne shortage in Rupert Lowe Suite 98. The other 124 Rupert Lowe suites have their own supply direct from France.

 

8 ) Snake Plisskin is sent to Portsmouth for not paying his 'long hair' license and is confronted by people he even calls uncouth.

 

9 ) It is announced the Itchen Bridge is finally paid after the council realise they now have all the money ever made and there isn't any left to give. They refuse to cease the charge though and will now accept personal property and/or teeth.

 

10 ) The Stone Roses finally reform

You forgot to mention the Statue of the Blessed Rupert Lowe paid for by Leon Crouchs great great...... grandson!

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