CB Fry

Please God let's hope we've spent about eighteen million quid on a central defensive midfielder because apparently that's what we desperately need now.

We're not going to sign Morgan Schneiderlin. Get used to it.

Oh no. That means our young players will have to play in youth matches, reserve matches and try and break into the first team. You know, like every single young player that's ever broken through for any club anywhere in the entire history of British football before this stupid competition was cooked up eight months ago.

It's a competition there to give the kids some kickabouts against professional lower league teams. Job done. Winning it, or even coming close to it would be something of an embarrassment to the competition and the club. Hilarious people grizzling about this, a total nothing competition. What next? Outrage if Sammy Saint doesn't win the mascot Grand National? Uproar that we didn't win Stadium Meat Pie of the year? Get over yourselves.

We have got ambition to do that, Les Reed has said it time and again, but we'll do it our way, which being that we have finished 8th, 7th, 6th and on track for a decent top half finish again and a cup semi final, it seems to be working just fine.

We were never a major force. And "our weight" is anywhere from mid table Prem to mid-table Championship, the same as lots of clubs from WBA, Leicester and Derby to Sheffield Wednesday and Sunderland. At the minute we're punching at the top end of that, while other clubs are in the middle of that range (Sunderland) or at the bottom of it (Forest, Sheffield United). You can build your total delusion based on no more than a five year period in the 1980s (really, two seasons) and pretend that represents our true level but it doesn't. All the other seasons - year after year after year - do represent us. Funny that.

Textbook.

Meltdown.

Okay, you're a bit dim then.

Not the media sunshine, the government and the security services. The threat level is "severe", one level down from "critical", which is the highest level.

.....Drums fingers waiting for someone to say that the Nazis were Christians the Nazis were Christians the NAZIS WERE CHRISTIANS.....

That's never a term I would use this season.

Nip and tuck with Zlatan. He nearly signed for us, you know.

Please can you stop affronting my manhood.

And here we are, the undisputed leaders of the "best of the rest" table on Christmas day.

I remember when there was that tram crash in Croydon the other week where seven people were killed. I spent the entire day screaming at the television that more people died of lung cancer that day through smoking lung cancer lung cancer lung cancer. Lung cancer didn't make the news that day.

They don't call it THE South Coast Derby. They might call it the South Coast derby in the same way they say coming next is the London Derby between Palace and West Ham or the Midlands Derby between WBA/Villa, Boro/Sunderland, etc etc etc.

We haven't put any release clauses in for any player so not sure why we would put one in for a 33 year old centre back. Article sounds about right - we won't sell VVD in January. Will be interesting if we do end up Jack Corking Fonte out the door next month. Would be a rather ignominious end to a fine tenure.

I always wonder what it must be like to be clever with manipulation.

No they don't.

Behave yourself. Everything we've done for them...jeez. What do you want the club or their fans to actually do to express their gratitude?

Not feeling it - I wasn't there yesterday so can only judge it from a distance. I was delighted by yesterday by all sorts of reasons but 100% would have felt exactly the same if it was against WBA or Swansea or Stoke. If anything I like Bournemouth - they are fine/harmless and I feel no malice towards them whatsoever.

After 17 games: 2015 Relentless Koeman winning machine = 5 wins. 2016 Claude Puel without a Scooby how to win games = 6 wins.

Nothing says "Champions League here we come" like signing one of those three. We'd better get in quick before Arsenal and Man United snap em up.

A simple "after 20 games" would be preferable.