miserableoldgit

Contradiction??

Title track from their 20th album.

I don`t think that Saint Richmond posted this. Not enough ".................................................`s"!

You actually COULD say fairer than that. You COULD say " I have made my point many, many times. I think that everyone on TSW knows my thoughts on the subject, so I won`t keep repeating them. Let`s move on." You won`t though will you?

Can`t wait for 19C`s response to this thread! Thanks for the report. Really sums up what MLT is about. Great bloke and genuinely Saints through and through.

East Cowes Vics?

A friend tells me that this is from Readers Digest! I think that he may be lying!!! **** 1.. (noun) The outer female organ;The vagina 2.. (noun) A very unpleasant or stupid person. The first meaning is needs no clarification…but the second could leave one a little confused…so to help you spot, and hopefully avoid, number 2…the following examples may be of some assistance to you… The bloke with the big bushy beard, thick woollen polo neck jersey, and pint of real ale (usually tapping his foot to some noisy bloody jazz band)…..is a **** The bloke who rattles his pipe from one side of his mouth to the other then talks with it gripped between his yellow teeth convinced that he is “Mr.Contentment”….is a **** Short arsed stubby blokes (who only seem to appear in the summer) with big guts, knee length baggy shorts,football shirts and huge trainers…and walk around under the misapprehension that they look mildly athletic instead of out-of-shape ****s…are ****s. Leo Sayer is a **** The bloke who reaches 40 – realises he is going nowhere so decides to take the character route to try to get noticed,by growing a big beard or bushy sideburns and a handlebar moustache…gets a pocket watch and turns into Dr.Watson…coming out with stuff like “That meal I had last night was most agreeable…”….is a **** George Best was ..... and Ainsley Harriot is…a **** The bloke who could easily retire but still works his ******** off at 65 and still takes **** off young yuppie upstarts…convincing himself that he “enjoys his job” …when the truth is he can’t think of **** all else to do (e.g. the jobsworth in some ****hole railway sidings) …is a **** The newcomer to the gym who goes through a self invented stretching exercise,wrongly convinced that all the regulars will think he knows what he’s doing…and usually wears black socks and black trainers…is a **** The scraggy bloke in his 40’s who, on a sunny day,walks round smoking a ciggie wearing a dark blue sleeve-less T-shirt (showing a collection of cheap fading tattoos) black socks and black trainers…and of course a ****ing baseball cap…is a **** The bloke in the golf club who kills himself laughing at all the Captain's unfunny jokes…is a **** In fact all golf club captains are ****s. Blokes who think “You are what you drive”…are ****s When you put your golfball on a tee and it falls off…the bloke who says “ONE!...Ha Ha Ha”…is a **** Gary Glitter is Numero Uno **** Any bloke over 45 who wears a bandana and an earring and isn’t a member of the crew of a pirate ship …is a **** The Yanks who chant “U…S…A!!” at sporting events…are ****s Come to think of it all Yanks are ****s. The bloke who insists on telling you how good his car is…is worse than the bloke who tells you how good he is with women…but it’s immaterial really…because they are both ****s. Any one of those many fathers who stand at Rugby pitches and instruct their boys in the art of playing the game - ****s all Blokes who ride those bikes where you lie down and steer them under your arse (with a ****ing flag on the end of a long thin pole) look like, and indeed are… ****s The bearded rotund loudmouth with the scarf and pint of beer in the rugby stands who shouts “We need more ball!!” or similar obvious ****ing instructions the hooker doesn’t really need telling while he’s getting his head trodden on…is a ****. The misguided parent who has emptied his bank account trying to turn his offspring into another Pete Sampras … not realising that young Darren will very soon prefer ****ging…is a **** Englebert Humperdink is a top-class Las Vegas **** The bloke who goes up to the club pianist and comes out with the highly original “Can you play "Far Away” …is a **** Any bloke who rides a horse and isn’t a jockey … is a **** The bloke who insists on telling you about all his ailments…mistaking you for someone who gives a ****…is a ****. Cliff Richard isn’t necessarily a ****…but he will be if he brings out another Christmas ****ing record!! Anyone who likes HipHop, Garage, or Rap music and is over 16…is a **** Anyone who likes all three and is over 16…is a ****ing ****. Graham Norton is such a **** Any bloke with a Mohican haircut…is a ****…unless he was present at Custers Last Stand… (incidentally Custer was a **** as well) - "Look at all those Indians" he said .... The Macho guys in tight jeans,cowboy boots and big Stetsons who are seen in every bloody country and western video in station wagons or around a pool table… are ****s The ****ed-up football hooligan (usually English) in Italy,with no shirt on,who stands at the front of the mob beckoning the oncoming armoured car with both hands to “have a go” just before the water cannon blasts him arse over tit along the gravel leaving him upside down against a brick wall with no skin and a broken neck …is a **** Jonathon Ross is a **** Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet are a shower of ****s. Each member of Take That (with the possible exeption of Gary Barlow) is a **** Robbie Williams obviously realised this and left…but that doesn’t matter because he’s a **** as well George W.Bush is a gold plated ****. (see also ..******..tosspot..knobhead) Terry Wogan,Michael Parkinson,Paul Daniels and Sebastian Coe…not forgetting Prince Edward…are ****s I don’t know if Mel Gibson is a ****…er…yes he is… now it’s official Anyone who understands what baseball is all about (or even ****ing cares)…is a **** Anyone who “works hard and plays hard”…is a **** The Monkees are ****s…Mickey Dolenz being the biggest The bloke in the queue at the airport with a trolley loaded up with cases surrounded by screaming kids, trying to look cool in his brand new trainers,brand new tracky bottoms and brand new flowery shirt (with the original crease still in it)…and of course a gold bracelet round his ****ing neck …is a **** The whole population of Bangor are ****s Anthea Redfern is an honorary **** The short arsed dancing fool in Boney M who mimes to some other *****s voice …is a **** Mustn’t forget Bruce Forsyth…what a **** he is. and Ronnie Corbett ...and Jimmy Tarbuck...both ****s ! The bloke in the driving seat of his car on his way to Wales on a Sunday accompanied by three yapping blue rinse old bags…him being the only surviving husband…is a **** The young bloke at the wedding with the white suit and black open neck shirt who decides he’s gonna show the older ones how the younger generation dance to the disco…is a **** The lad with the gaping mouth and protruding bottom lip and can of lager … walking down the street uttering intelligent comments like “I’m gone rip iz ‘ead off!!”…is a total ****. (and if you ever wonder where NOWHERE is just make a note of the direction he’s heading) It is very difficult not to think all masons are ****s…so they must be. Blokes who stand in a circle in the pub listening intently to each other with a furrowed brow and biting their bottom lip and throwing the odd sixpenno'th into the conversation as they discuss their teams midfield problems …and think that the hairy arsed overpaid manager in his mansion gives a flying **** what they think …are ****s. Ainsley Harriot is such a **** he deserves a second mention Denis Norden,who seriously requires that clip board shoving up his arse…is a **** Did I mention Ant and Dec?...pair of ****s?...I ****ing think so!! and not last ...... nor least, or even Nor Nor East .... Those Hairy Bikers from Byker - ****s both So there you are This list is by no means exhaustive but it will give you some idea of what to look for and hopefull avoid as you negotiate life’s long and winding road. Because this word has ceased to be a swear word…it should no longer be regarded as offensive. If, however,you have been offended …simply add your name to the above list.

Aghhh!! A horrible shiver just went down my back!!

+1. Just about sums it up!

This might have to go too! Incentive scheme: Portsmouth's David James sits in the three-wheeler that the worst trainer at the club will have to drive home in

Calm before the storm??

I think that he is getting confused with "Alldays".

Born and bred in Southampton.Always lived there ( apart from a few years in Colden Common) and ALWAYS a Saint through thick and thin. All of my my family (Mum, Dad , uncles etc) were Saints through and through, and I just can`t imagine any other club coming even close. I live 5 minutes walk from Eastleighs ground and even they, despite the closeness, don`t attract me. I have fallen out of love with football in general and if I didn`t watch Saints I wouldn`t bother to watch anybody. Over 50 years a Saint. Southampton `til I die!!!

I think that you may have got him there!!

Is that better??

I that one of those Sports Drinks??

Well I liked it! Good old C&P!

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! Unbelievable, but SUPPOSEDLY all true!!!! Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. sorry.... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and. Customer: Hold on pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah...................thank you. Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies. Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ? Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' And last but not least... Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "how are you getting on?" Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked - "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else" A pompey girl sent an email to an Agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer ?" My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its ********!! They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk **** and can't drive! Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled" "No" she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard" A mate of mine has just told me he's ****ging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!" A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me" "Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNEgKGEDfOk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCE2RxuAFck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNEgKGEDfOk

And the sad thing is that you just KNOW that the bastards will be allowed to get away with it because the PL won`t want to spoil the PL brand name.

I think that what RVW was trying to achieve (and succeeded in producing ) was an evocation of the great English countryside. I cannot hear the piece without picturing the things that you have mentioned. A wonderful piece of quintessentially English music.

Something we DO agree on!

Now you`re just being stupid!