miserableoldgit

Yeah, I always thought that The Tweets were a quality band!!

There`s your answer 19C. I would, however, add the word "deliberately" before "provocative".

Hmmm.. A touch of "Pot" and "Kettle" I think.

Can`t wait to see him in the GP`s next year.

Along with Geoff Mudge and Norman Strachan!!

If Tommy Cooper were alive today.... I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.' ----------------------- This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster. ------------------------ I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.' ----------------------- I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.' ---------------------------- I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End' --------------------------- I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.' ------------------------------ I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?' -------------------------- I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.' --------------------------- I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R. ---------------------------- I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down. ---------------------------- I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on. --------------------------- The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.' -------------------------- I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.' ---------------------- This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me..' -------------------------- I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.' ---------------------------- I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!' -------------------------------- This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!' -------------------------- I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest' ---------------------- I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there. ------------------------- I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin. --------------------------- I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.' -------------------------------- I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow' -------------------------------- A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.'

I don`t doubt that that a few people may have made less than positive remarks regarding "throwingate" but I do doubt that any of them have taken it to the obsessive, "dog with a bone" lengths that you have. Personally, I think that on reflection MLT was unwise to describe the incident in his book. Has that tarnished his image or taken the shine from my many joyous memories of watching probably the most likable, loyal and skillfull players ever to play for Saints? NO, not in the slightest! It would take much more than a small error of judgement to do that. You have made your point on every occaision possible. You might be the voice of "Truth, Justice and the American Way" but it really is time that you let this rest and move on to your next controversy. I`m sure that you are building one up.

As I have only ever heard these anti MLT sentiments from you on this forum, I think that it is a valid question as to who the "some of us" are. You are not the only one that asks valid questions and demands answers. Who else supports your stance? Or are you the only person that is right?

?????:confused:

Contradiction??

Title track from their 20th album.

I don`t think that Saint Richmond posted this. Not enough ".................................................`s"!

You actually COULD say fairer than that. You COULD say " I have made my point many, many times. I think that everyone on TSW knows my thoughts on the subject, so I won`t keep repeating them. Let`s move on." You won`t though will you?

Can`t wait for 19C`s response to this thread! Thanks for the report. Really sums up what MLT is about. Great bloke and genuinely Saints through and through.

East Cowes Vics?

A friend tells me that this is from Readers Digest! I think that he may be lying!!! **** 1.. (noun) The outer female organ;The vagina 2.. (noun) A very unpleasant or stupid person. The first meaning is needs no clarification…but the second could leave one a little confused…so to help you spot, and hopefully avoid, number 2…the following examples may be of some assistance to you… The bloke with the big bushy beard, thick woollen polo neck jersey, and pint of real ale (usually tapping his foot to some noisy bloody jazz band)…..is a **** The bloke who rattles his pipe from one side of his mouth to the other then talks with it gripped between his yellow teeth convinced that he is “Mr.Contentment”….is a **** Short arsed stubby blokes (who only seem to appear in the summer) with big guts, knee length baggy shorts,football shirts and huge trainers…and walk around under the misapprehension that they look mildly athletic instead of out-of-shape ****s…are ****s. Leo Sayer is a **** The bloke who reaches 40 – realises he is going nowhere so decides to take the character route to try to get noticed,by growing a big beard or bushy sideburns and a handlebar moustache…gets a pocket watch and turns into Dr.Watson…coming out with stuff like “That meal I had last night was most agreeable…”….is a **** George Best was ..... and Ainsley Harriot is…a **** The bloke who could easily retire but still works his ******** off at 65 and still takes **** off young yuppie upstarts…convincing himself that he “enjoys his job” …when the truth is he can’t think of **** all else to do (e.g. the jobsworth in some ****hole railway sidings) …is a **** The newcomer to the gym who goes through a self invented stretching exercise,wrongly convinced that all the regulars will think he knows what he’s doing…and usually wears black socks and black trainers…is a **** The scraggy bloke in his 40’s who, on a sunny day,walks round smoking a ciggie wearing a dark blue sleeve-less T-shirt (showing a collection of cheap fading tattoos) black socks and black trainers…and of course a ****ing baseball cap…is a **** The bloke in the golf club who kills himself laughing at all the Captain's unfunny jokes…is a **** In fact all golf club captains are ****s. Blokes who think “You are what you drive”…are ****s When you put your golfball on a tee and it falls off…the bloke who says “ONE!...Ha Ha Ha”…is a **** Gary Glitter is Numero Uno **** Any bloke over 45 who wears a bandana and an earring and isn’t a member of the crew of a pirate ship …is a **** The Yanks who chant “U…S…A!!” at sporting events…are ****s Come to think of it all Yanks are ****s. The bloke who insists on telling you how good his car is…is worse than the bloke who tells you how good he is with women…but it’s immaterial really…because they are both ****s. Any one of those many fathers who stand at Rugby pitches and instruct their boys in the art of playing the game - ****s all Blokes who ride those bikes where you lie down and steer them under your arse (with a ****ing flag on the end of a long thin pole) look like, and indeed are… ****s The bearded rotund loudmouth with the scarf and pint of beer in the rugby stands who shouts “We need more ball!!” or similar obvious ****ing instructions the hooker doesn’t really need telling while he’s getting his head trodden on…is a ****. The misguided parent who has emptied his bank account trying to turn his offspring into another Pete Sampras … not realising that young Darren will very soon prefer ****ging…is a **** Englebert Humperdink is a top-class Las Vegas **** The bloke who goes up to the club pianist and comes out with the highly original “Can you play "Far Away” …is a **** Any bloke who rides a horse and isn’t a jockey … is a **** The bloke who insists on telling you about all his ailments…mistaking you for someone who gives a ****…is a ****. Cliff Richard isn’t necessarily a ****…but he will be if he brings out another Christmas ****ing record!! Anyone who likes HipHop, Garage, or Rap music and is over 16…is a **** Anyone who likes all three and is over 16…is a ****ing ****. Graham Norton is such a **** Any bloke with a Mohican haircut…is a ****…unless he was present at Custers Last Stand… (incidentally Custer was a **** as well) - "Look at all those Indians" he said .... The Macho guys in tight jeans,cowboy boots and big Stetsons who are seen in every bloody country and western video in station wagons or around a pool table… are ****s The ****ed-up football hooligan (usually English) in Italy,with no shirt on,who stands at the front of the mob beckoning the oncoming armoured car with both hands to “have a go” just before the water cannon blasts him arse over tit along the gravel leaving him upside down against a brick wall with no skin and a broken neck …is a **** Jonathon Ross is a **** Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet are a shower of ****s. Each member of Take That (with the possible exeption of Gary Barlow) is a **** Robbie Williams obviously realised this and left…but that doesn’t matter because he’s a **** as well George W.Bush is a gold plated ****. (see also ..******..tosspot..knobhead) Terry Wogan,Michael Parkinson,Paul Daniels and Sebastian Coe…not forgetting Prince Edward…are ****s I don’t know if Mel Gibson is a ****…er…yes he is… now it’s official Anyone who understands what baseball is all about (or even ****ing cares)…is a **** Anyone who “works hard and plays hard”…is a **** The Monkees are ****s…Mickey Dolenz being the biggest The bloke in the queue at the airport with a trolley loaded up with cases surrounded by screaming kids, trying to look cool in his brand new trainers,brand new tracky bottoms and brand new flowery shirt (with the original crease still in it)…and of course a gold bracelet round his ****ing neck …is a **** The whole population of Bangor are ****s Anthea Redfern is an honorary **** The short arsed dancing fool in Boney M who mimes to some other *****s voice …is a **** Mustn’t forget Bruce Forsyth…what a **** he is. and Ronnie Corbett ...and Jimmy Tarbuck...both ****s ! The bloke in the driving seat of his car on his way to Wales on a Sunday accompanied by three yapping blue rinse old bags…him being the only surviving husband…is a **** The young bloke at the wedding with the white suit and black open neck shirt who decides he’s gonna show the older ones how the younger generation dance to the disco…is a **** The lad with the gaping mouth and protruding bottom lip and can of lager … walking down the street uttering intelligent comments like “I’m gone rip iz ‘ead off!!”…is a total ****. (and if you ever wonder where NOWHERE is just make a note of the direction he’s heading) It is very difficult not to think all masons are ****s…so they must be. Blokes who stand in a circle in the pub listening intently to each other with a furrowed brow and biting their bottom lip and throwing the odd sixpenno'th into the conversation as they discuss their teams midfield problems …and think that the hairy arsed overpaid manager in his mansion gives a flying **** what they think …are ****s. Ainsley Harriot is such a **** he deserves a second mention Denis Norden,who seriously requires that clip board shoving up his arse…is a **** Did I mention Ant and Dec?...pair of ****s?...I ****ing think so!! and not last ...... nor least, or even Nor Nor East .... Those Hairy Bikers from Byker - ****s both So there you are This list is by no means exhaustive but it will give you some idea of what to look for and hopefull avoid as you negotiate life’s long and winding road. Because this word has ceased to be a swear word…it should no longer be regarded as offensive. If, however,you have been offended …simply add your name to the above list.

Aghhh!! A horrible shiver just went down my back!!

+1. Just about sums it up!

This might have to go too! Incentive scheme: Portsmouth's David James sits in the three-wheeler that the worst trainer at the club will have to drive home in

Calm before the storm??

I think that he is getting confused with "Alldays".

Born and bred in Southampton.Always lived there ( apart from a few years in Colden Common) and ALWAYS a Saint through thick and thin. All of my my family (Mum, Dad , uncles etc) were Saints through and through, and I just can`t imagine any other club coming even close. I live 5 minutes walk from Eastleighs ground and even they, despite the closeness, don`t attract me. I have fallen out of love with football in general and if I didn`t watch Saints I wouldn`t bother to watch anybody. Over 50 years a Saint. Southampton `til I die!!!

I think that you may have got him there!!

Is that better??

I that one of those Sports Drinks??