Miltonaggro

For once to win the title at a stroll. Not Saints style historically, but it would be so nice to hit the Prem with momentum and plans well in place. The other desired variable would be for HMRC to finally catch up with the Keystone Cops down the M27 to instigate some payback for the gloating they did when we were in the sh*t, hopefully the points deduction and fine in place by Easter...

Michael Appleton to iron the numbers on the back of the shirts in the Saints shop...

Then again at 6ft 4ins an out an out target man and good cover for Lambert...

I like the cut of your jib, Phil...

This week's mystery signing will be Gary Hooper or Tommy Cooper. Failing that, a signing just short of a marquee singing, at the very least an eight man tent signing...

Within 18 months he would be worth £35m...

Maybe Barnard is the makeweight in the Hooper deal. He would love the nightlife in Glasgow...

Foxhunter also liked flowers and sh*gged Princess Margaret...

The record breaking David Hirst...

My money is on 'Undisclosed (but considerably more than Rory Delap)'...

This could all be academic, as with our 'hush-hush' approach to transfers we will probably never know about the £35 million spent on Hooper...

This, by a country mile...

Spot on...

That's a ringer for Gus. Remember where you heard it first...

My advice is to imagine Gus the racists head on each one of the characters. This is how he motivates them before home games: "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town There's no need to be unhappy. Young man, there's a place you can go. I said, young man, when you're short on your dough. You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find Many ways to have a good time. It's fun to play at the A-M-E-X. It's fun to play at the A-M-E-X. They have everything that you need to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boys." Hope that helps, Eric...

I went to the England v USA match during the RWC in France, which was staged at Lens stadium, Stade Felix Bollaert. 42,000 seated four sided concrete monstrosity with an incline like Beachy head, but a real rough diamond of a ground. Rather like the Dell's ugly muscle bound big brother. Full the atmosphere is very intense and you are right on top of the players. If SMS is ever expanded in the Prem a raised 'Kop' might be an idea behind the goal to provide a focal point for noisy support. Brighton's Tampax stadium on the other hand seems more National Express stop than football ground. The only thing going for it is that you can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel! Apparently...

Bit of fresh blood / additional competition for places / show of intent, first or second. Which would do nicely...

A player like Bridge or Davies is a real conundrum for this side given our league position. Get it right and a wise head who has been there, seen it and done it could give us some quality leadership and real edge, just like Bally did back in the day, get it wrong and the dressing room is split...

I was in the revolving cafe at John Lewis this afternoon and recognised the two chaps on the next table after I heard one of them say 'Saints to beat the scum 3-1' and the other chuckled 'dirty skate b*stards' in a cut glass RSC accent. It turned out to be David Warner and Richard Donner. Lovely blokes, geniune fans, and said they have both moved to Soton due recently to Westquay and the proximity to the New Forest. If that's not an Omen I don't know what is...

Gaby and the scarecrow were on final score and mistakenly said that West Ham would move above Saints in the table after their destruction of Real Barnsley (before backtracking after a report). This suggests that the skates are overconfident and will lose like Frank Bruno...

Good call! FFS...

Portsmouth 1 - 3 Southampton (Hammond 33, Lambert 70, Barnard 90+2). COYR...

Simon 'bad breath dragon' Clifford. Total football...

Bonnie Langford and Jeanette 'Jimmy' Krankie. Both season ticket holders in the Kingsland and both regular posters on here. FFS...

Whilst trekking to the south pole last year with two chums (all wearing replica shirts and SFC acrylic bobble hats), we were overtaken by a group of Norwegians who shouted 'our Claus in the middle of a fence' (sic) as they drew level, and 'scummers' as they went past. We tried to catch them up to remonstrate but it was like Telemark all over again! B*stards...