Weston Super Saint

If we park this car in front of the goal, we may only lose by two goals

Because we need to gamble more on our players

Oh noes :shock:

spoken in one primary school. Their answer to this problem - sign language :shock: Now I may be a bluff old traditionalist here, but surely if they wanted a common language for all those nationalities, being an English school, perhaps they should all speak English?

So you're saying Tuesday is the new Friday :shock:

He's probably got a broken foot or something.

Which calendar?

To be fair, he's already taken a hit on his 'net worth' when the shares he bought for 65p were devalued to about 22p each.

Is today the day the Teddy Bears have their picninc??

To be fair they were in and out in less than a minute. You might have been able to wrestle down a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin from the back of the bar in that time. You could have sold them for what, maybe a fiver each to a 'tramp'. I think that makes my dimwitted burglars a little more successful than you would have been....

Yes. Also I might 'borrow' my sister's boxer, but since she is still a puppy, she might just want to play. At least it would keep them occupied while I suitably arm myself

They probably realised the fat bald man would be coming down the stairs very soon with a pitching wedge - that just happened to be lying by the door with a selection of other golf clubs m'lud - since the burglar alarm is louder than Oceana on a Saturday night....

In the pub. They broke in, forced open both fruit machines and took the effing lot! Fortunately : 1. The fruities don't belong to me, so the company that owns them can replace them free of charge. 2. The 'collector' came during the day yesterday and emptied all the cash, so without having the official total yet, I reckon they pocketed about £20 Unfortunately : 1. Mrs WSS spent the night at my sister's house - who ironically is a little scared after an attempted burglary round hers - so had the bed to myself for once, but spent not very much time in it 2. They'll probably come back and try again another day when the machines have more money in them. Anyone got any recommendations for baseball bat retailers?

She's probably a really good mother.

If it's just 'spending' that creates the 'top 4', will it be expanded to become the 'top 5' now Man Citeh are rich beyond their wildest dreams?

I Lol'd.

To this.... http://www.justgiving.com/rolandsmith

Look on the bright side, beer sales would go through the roof :shock:

Is the other 0.96 of the person a couple of eyelashes

To be fair, anyone who takes scabby's wind up Pompey posts seriously probably shouldn't be registering for this or any other innetnetz forearm

Doesn't make much sense. If they already have a big fan base, why would they want / need to increase it?

And why you've never mentioned a player's name...

Pompey fans will always hate us

Do you live in the city?