pap

Just back. Was tempted to post an update while there, but didn't really have the tech or the inclination to do it justice. Overall, we think we enjoyed ourselves immensely. There were some lows, for sure. Slipping on my arse three times and losing a coat to the mud wasn't fun, nor was having to use any toilet on site after about 3pm. The worst are probably the "long drops", which are effectively a row of toilets situated over one large bowl, which contains the combined human waste of thousands of people. By evening, the feckers are close to overflowing. Amazingly, people fúck in them late at night Saw tons of bands. Caught Kaiser Chiefs unannounced gig on Friday morning, sparing us all the agony of choice later on when they and Arcade Fire were playing at the same time. Took in a bit of Blondie, but didn't really enjoy the sound from where we were. Getting out of the Other Stage at that point was horrendous. The rest of Friday was spent at the Pyramid. Rodrigo y Gabriela were f**king fantastic; most of their stuff didn't feature any lyrics - just some of the most impressive guitar playing I've seen. De La Soul were a real surprise. Loved nearly everything they did, although not quite sure they nailed "Me, Myself and I". Real fun, though. Caught the end of Rudimental before the storms shut everything down. We buggered back off to the camper and returned for the headliner. Arcade Fire deserve their own paragraph, I reckon. I caught them on their Suburbs tour, and they were great then, but due to lack of material, probably picked some relative duffers from their back catalogue. The release of Reflektor changes that. They could never write another song and still have enough material to be an amazing concert band for decades, especially with the dancier (but still congruent) tunes from the latest album. Saturday was about Kodaline, Imagine Dragons and of course, Metallica. Kodaline were the only band I learned for Glasto, and were genuinely moved by playing the festival. Lead singer took his sunglasses off at one point to reveal tears. Imagine Dragons was Juvy Unit #2's recommendation. Great atmosphere, and a nice fusion of rock and dance sensibilities. I went to see Metallica on my own; didn't manage to convince the family to go along. Superb performance from start to end. The cheeky swipe at the "ban Metallica because James Hetfield hunts bears campaign" was both a nice "fúck you" and a small piece of genius. Intense performance, delivered with a lot of charm and humility. The Glastallica tagline was deserved by night's end. Sunday was the Pyramid again, mostly to see stuff my daughter liked, such as The 1975 & Ed Sheeran. Dolly was the standout of the day. Utterly beguiling and charming presence. I'm entirely unsurprised that she's been dubbed Queen of Glastonbury, although let's hope those miming charges are false, eh? Did the cabaret in the evening and skipped Kasabian, a real nice way to wind down. Overall, it was like going on holiday to a different planet, or at least an alternate version of Britain where everyone is buzzing and positive, despite what's being unloaded on them from the heavens. We'll be attempting to get tickets next year; my money is on an AC/DC headliner and a yurt. Campervan was fun and all, but the walk is a bugger, and the stress of looking after a £40K long vehicle when you're used to driving a saloon just ain't worth it.

You can get that stick removed on the NHS, y'know

"Snacky" Suarez, I calls him.

Maybe he's just frustrated with the plumes of outrage rising over a man biting another man in a football stadium. Think everyone knows it's wrong, and he's going to punished accordingly. You can judge me how you like, but I watched it and found it amusing from first to last. FIFA will be the judge of Suarez, along with the quick-to-rage crowd too, it'd seem

I dunno. The boys that roll around here are a bit more technologically advanced than "biting".

But he injured his teeth!

Watching the analysis, one of the pundits said that the worst thing was Suarez playing the victim. I disagree. That was the best bit.

70m to spend without player sales might make a few wantaways take notice. Might just be wishful thinking on our part, tho'.

Had to edit that before you replied, soz. Yeah, sounds something of a weird statement re-reading it. We're spending 70m but expect to make 90m? Covering debts?

According to @SkySportsAmy on Twitter, Koeman has been handed a 70m transfer budget. We're expecting 90m if we sell players. Anyone know how real this is? Quite a bit of money, if true.

Handy enough degree of separation for the PM and Rupes, eh? Still, let's remember that Coulson was employed as press secretary for the PM. It's either a shocking lack of judgement or indifference to Coulson's reported activities.

My answer would be "fk it. It belongs to work". If I can survive walking around NYC with a pocket full of cash and constant fear of being mugged, your phone should be alright at a festival.

Reverse the colours and we might be talking. Too much like Arsenal's kit atm.

Four years, according to this. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2341942/Southampton-sign-Lyon-defender-Dejan-Lovren-8-5m.html Long enough.

Take it you've not seen this week's episode? Actually quite interesting. The moral of the story is don't believe everything you see Quite apt for the thread.

tbh, I was kinda counting on Tapatalk. I don't really have any firm plans as of yet. Take your phone.

Small amendment to the proposed. We are inferior We are inferior We're fúcking shít We are inferior The Queen is superior We kiss her posterior The Queen is the shít. I don't feel we had enough arse-kissing in the last version. This is now addressed.

Have you ever considered playing with yourself as an alternative to this sort of caper? [1] I mean, the post you're getting so animated about was pretty well laid out in context. The decline of two "undroppable" players, Greg Dyke's comments, which I didn't qualify, but he wrote off our chances in 2014, guaranteed Hodgson's tenure post WC come what may and said that the target is to win it in 2022. You reckon we'll be enlisting a 42 year old Stevie G as a deeper holding player with a limper Hollywood ball? Will Rooney have refined his huff and puff act to the point where it's simply effortless at 36? Neither Rooney nor Gerrard will have any part in the 2022 target, but the ludicrous state of the media and punditry in this country meant that if Roy had rolled the dice on the kids in place of our undroppables in our opening games and lost, he'd have been pressured out of a job in the aftermath. If every cloud has a silver lining, this is the opportunity to press the reset button on the England team and start putting together the spine and style for a serious challenge eight years from now. Hodgson can drop who he wants now, I reckon. If you want to foam off at the mouth because you reckon he never considered that outcome up front in a time of zero expectation and total job security, be my guest. [1] if equipment not found in usual bay, methodically check scalp.

Finally getting through a bit more Farscape. I've seen bits and pieces over the years and always liked the cut of its jib. Love the makeup and set design. They go all out, not always successfully, but you have to love them for trying. Perfect antidote to SG1's bland forests and military setting.

Where's the conspiracy? Wouldn't we need Roy and at least one other? Top tip. Derive the meaning of words before using them.

This has been a debacle from start to finish, and if I had to put my finger on one thing in particular, it was Roy's half-measures. I'm sure he knows that we need a revival of the team. Everything leading up to the World Cup suggested that was beginning to happen. Unfortunately, that's as far as it got. For whatever reason, we seemed to conjure the worst possible alchemy from the youngsters. Didn't put enough faith in them, didn't put them in at the right times and crucially, didn't drop players that are counter-productive in an England shirt, whatever they're doing for their clubs. Rooney and Gerrard are the natural scapegoats. Rooney's got one finals goal from all his visits. I agree with Scholes; he's past his peak now - and to me, gives the impression of someone who needs to be visible, rather than effective. That's poison to any team. Ronaldo is a look-at-me bastard, but then, he's Ronaldo. How many others can justifiably get away with that? He's off the back of Manchester United's worst season, and even though he was a bright spark in a dark, dark season - the culture of winning has gone at Manchester United. Gerrard has been a hell of a player over his career. The FA Cup and Champions League finals were probably his best performances. Grabbing his team by the scruff of the neck, setting both the example and the course of the game. Those days are long gone, and though it's too much to blame either of them for all England's myriad ills, you can't take on passengers and expect to drive the bus to World Cup Glory Plaza. Both of them have been. Maybe after Dyke's pronouncements and guarantee of Hodgson's job for a full four year cycle, Roy felt it was better to crash out of the World Cup using the safe option, justifiably being able to drop big names in the aftermath. Even if that wasn't in his thinking, I hope it is now.

Excellent news. I've destroyed my utility bill with low energy lighting. We can re-sign Tommy Forecast from Dartford using the savings. The dream is real.

I think it's an upgrade. The British people are mentioned loads more, the Queen still gets her props and the likes of Rooney will have no problem remembering it.

Maybe we could keep the tune and change the words. After all, most have problems past the first verse. I reckon we just belt out this a couple of times. We are inferior We are inferior We're fúcking shít We are inferior The Queen is superior We are inferior The Queen is the shít.