pap

They don't sell weed at John Lewis, Bear.

His new signature on the UI:- He who is silent and bows his head dies every time he does so. He who speaks aloud and walks with his head held high dies only once. —Giovanni Falcone Giovanni Falcone? What's wrong with Shakespeare, eh? Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. A traitor to the end!

This is particularly amusing. I'm guessing that because I've got long hair, Barry expected me to be a laid back hippy like my hero, The Dude from the Big Lebowski. He obviously forgot the fact that I'm a combative little bugger on here for much of the time. However, Barry's point isn't entirely without merit. One aims for the Dude, even if the practical result is you're Walter most of the time. Not wrong, just an arsehole. Self-deprecation aside, the funniest thing about this particular jibe is Bazza's own accent. It's one of those nasal whiny affairs where it doesn't seem like there are pauses between words, just a drawly swing from one to the next. Can't remember which of mine I was doing on the night.

Think of it as the Grey Havens, Tokes.

He got his money's worth. He must have one of the lowest cost-per-post ratios of all Full Members.

Perma-ban, yo.

They can get him if they're willing to pay the compensation. Mourinho has been hot on the job for years. Remember his "boss of bosses" job application last year?

Yeah, it was great to be us in League One. Not so great to be Carlisle. Would you be as keen if stagnation in League One (or in Carlisle's case, relegation) was the norm? Not sure I would be.

You got any secondary beefs you'd like to mention, Tokes?

He doesn't argue with everyone, and I'm not sure you could class every argument as a beef. Turks vs Frank's cousin? That's a potential beef.

Thanks for the sage advice. Number 8 sounds like there is a harrowing story behind it. Quite. Whenever tents come up, I'm reminded of Charlie Brooker's TV Go Home holiday special. "You'll regret going camping the moment you arrive!"

They call each other Small Fry and strawlock, y'know. It's the SaintsWeb equivalent of trench warfare. One can only hope that they lay down their arms, sing carols and play Word Association at Christmas.

Flaps, curtains, whatever. As long as you bring beef to the table. I have thought of some more established beefs to get this going. Don't know the background, so please feel free to add. shurlock vs CB Fry Both are capable of a "beef on the side", but their feud seems to be the most substantive beef either have got in the oven. Details required. Tokyo-Saint vs Ludwig Ludwig thinks Tokyo-Saint got deppo banned. Tokes disagrees and thinks that Ludwig is Verbal's son.

Welcome back, your old self too; devoting your very first sentence to an attack. I will respond to one of your insults; "craven". I find that extremely amusing coming from a man who spent his Saturday night harassing a mod to purge all traces of his identity, because he is shít-scared of being associated with his words. You don't get to use that word with any credibility. That aside, let's try to pick some substance from this shítburger of a post. You place the most effort into your second paragragh, enumerating the horrors of the Soviet regime and how it pushed formerly oppressed states into signing their sovereignty away for a taste of the west. That's a fair point, but then you're speaking from the perspective of a slavish defender of Western establishment and all its attendant hypocrisies. Putin probably places more concern on those two maps, NATO on his doorstep, the usual economic hitman routine going on in Ukraine and putting the Eurasian Union together. He probably doesn't have the same priorities as you, and therefore isn't going to let historical guilt, if he feels any at all, impede whatever plans he has. The EU has moved the borders, expanding into former Eastern Bloc countries. The Russians are probably looking at the territory and the shiny new NATO bases. Do you reckon they think "EU as imperialist vehicle" is a conspiracy theory?

Careful now. I've started to watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I know where this originates.

No, it's not that at all. Would you count your confrontations with Turks as a beef, or just an ammonia treated McDs?

My main issue with the EU is no longer immigration, although that's huge. For those who are banging the pro-EU drum, can I ask for your thoughts on the EU's role in Ukraine, and in a broader sense, its role in antagonising Russia. Seems to me that the EU has acted as a political belligerent for the last 20 years, and that it might be a little naive to think of a post-Empire world.

My grandad tells me he's voting UKIP. Farage is really bagging that Karachi crowd.

SaintsWeb is a busy community. While some efforts are undoubtedly made to further the interests of forum peace and harmony, there are rare occasions where a number of posters might bicker for a small while, say three months or forever. With all the recent success at the club, one worries about what all the Johnny Come Latelies and would-be signups may think of the internecine warfare happening across the boards. They may not know that two particular posters have been fighting like cat and dog since the dawn of time. They may run away screaming. With that in mind, I think it would be a good idea to keep a track of detected beef in the SaintsWeb belfry. Not only would it be an invaluable source of info for potential new posters, but it could also be a source of something much nobler, such as reconciliation, further man dates and who knows, something to coax bletch out of semi-retirement for an interesting technical challenge ( one word bletch - "beefcloud" ). Example template beef, riff on it as needs be.:- pap vs Nolan Duration of beef: 8 months Key dispute: relative merits of PS4 vs XBox One RL Kickoff potential: Zero. Both are obvious geeks that would melt on contact with outside world. They play on different consoles so matter can not be settled gamer-to-gamer. Estimated time of resolution: November 2019 More info: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?48502-PS4-or-XBOX-One#.U3Ep5PldXcg So, list beefs and all you know about who's involved, how they started, and most importantly, how they might be resolved. I will edit and maintain an active beef list here. Mods: I know, I know. Kill it if it gets out of hand. Current forum beefs:- shurlock vs CB Fry Both are capable of a "beef on the side", but their feud seems to be the most substantive beef either have got in the oven. Details required. Tokyo-Saint vs Ludwig Ludwig thinks Tokyo-Saint got deppo banned. Tokes disagrees and thinks that Ludwig is Verbal's son.

We don't agree on much, but we do on this. We've all been looking at other teams players, and will continue to do so for the rest of the window.

Things I have learned re-reading this thread:- 1) Relations between Chapel End Charlie and I are markedly better these days. 2) Lallana wasn't reaching his potential under Adkins. Same can be said for most players in Prem, admittedly. 3) "Flash" Gordon Watson is a prophet of some kind, predicting the arrival of Wanyama (or someone quite like him) 4) Contrary to everything I have ever claimed in the past, I might know something about football

I'd rather take it back, yo

Gary Neville has been a revelation since he started broadcasting. Maybe he is just the football punditry equivalent of SuBo. e.g. We never knew he had it in him. True to an extent, but also irrelevant. Unless he starts talking utter shíte, people will continue to listen to Gary Neville. Don't be under any illusions though; it's not like Saints are his new favourite team - he just has respect for what the setup has achieved down here and the players we've produced. Up to the club to ensure we continue to get the plaudits.

Got an email from camper van company. Give us 1250UKP by tomorrow! Booked the van over the phone; no-one gave me any inkling that the account would need to be settled around now; I'm very good with this sort of thing and pay things on time. Glastonbury itself had a deadline, which I observed. Whatever, it's unreasonable for anyone to email you on Monday and ask for over a grand by Tuesday, saying you'll lose your non-refundable £250 deposit as a result. The lady on the phone sounded particularly pleased at this point - her second-highest smug point of the day (the highest was her announcing that she ran her own business, big woop). Unfortunately for her, things got worse after that. First, I sent her my articles on Europcar (still my highest read blog pieces of all time), then I schooled her on how distance-selling works, before announcing that she'd be charged for my time thereafter. All the dosh was refunded within an hour. As a parting shot, she wished me the best of luck in sourcing a new Glastonbury motorhome. Her final fail of the afternoon was the fact that I did. Be wary (and lairy), festival goers