pap

Yipe. Game on.

Not literally. That would require at least two emergency services.

Bastard. Beat me to it!

There have been a lot of gritted teeth lately. But yeah, West Ham no mugs. It'll be a difficult game, but we'll do better than we did at theirs.

Fair point, my complicated little mitten. The obvious comparison is Bale, who currently looks like he has done a deal with Satan to get his immense footballing skill. But yeah, if Shaw stays I'll be chuffed - and it'll be a huge coup for the club; what with many expecting him to do the offs.

The quiet nobility of parenthood is one of the most edifying things that humanity offers, I reckon. Super to be head of your own little clan, even if members of that clan do not necessarily happen to show you the kind of kingly respect you may think you're accorded and even if they do end up running your life It's also the only confirmed form of immortality going. Alright, it's vicarious - but I'll go a lot easier to my grave knowing that bits of me will survive through my kids and that someone, somewhere will be getting a withering response from the well-trained kids. My top tip for being a parent (speaking from scarred experience). Don't be a smart-arse in front of your kids. They end up being able to do everything better than you. Over time it'll come back to bite you.

Being discussed on SSN now. How far can this club go? Charlie Nicholas reckons we're going to improve even more under MP. "Great great future". Thommo: starts by speaking about our defensive frailties. On Reading; important because it shows we can win against less fancied teams. Merse: Reckons we just need to concentrate on league survival for next two seasons, but "very impressed". Summer will be crucial. Reckons Shaw will go. MLT: Shaw and Cork crucial to Saints' turnaround in fortunes. Stelling: Going on about Boruc. Got to say, I am a little worried about Shaw myself. If he honours his pre-contract agreement and stays, he'll get a huge amount of love from the fans, myself included.

I've got two girls, 17 and 13. Not a bad age gap at all. Seems like they are a lot closer in age most of the time. Second one is loads easier. Don't care what anyone says, no-one really knows what they're doing with their first kid, which is probably why eldest kids cop the most crap. The experience of having the first one will make you a lot less fretful around the second one, and that applies throughout life. You'll know what you're doing baby-wise, I expect the second one will hit all his or her social "firsts" at a much earlier age than your eldest kid, such as being allowed out without parental supervision. Have to say, my kids are pretty independent these days. The eldest is studying for her A-levels at the moment, so is either doing revision or relaxing from revision. Youngest is quite athletic and buggers off to some form of dance three times a week. In short, it'll be hard work in the early years, but a lot easier in the long run. Think it's a good thing for kids to have siblings too; probably the best present you can give them as a parent, even if it takes them 30 years to realise it.

The obvious one is anyone who supports their local team when it would be easy to support another. I exclude Southampton people from this; they should be supporting Southampton. Maximum respect to people who turn out for unfancied clubs in areas where there are Premiership riches to be had, London and the North West being the obvious examples.

Controversial one maybe, but probs worth mentioning. Years ago, went to Old Trafford to see Saints lose 2-1 to a Forlan screamer. Living in the North West at the time, I drove the car to Eccles and got the tram to OT. Have to say, the local Man U fans were top class. Couldn't be more humble or helpful.

I know I'm not Bearsy, Jonnyboy, but I am curious. How has this manifested itself in your life? Are you cooking meth?

I love ART's posts for that very reason. ART: Keep up the good work. You are a horse of a different colour.

Blimey. Running out of enemies fast. Fair play, Charlie. Goes to show that sometimes, a picture can avoid a thousand words.

Brilliant, although you shouldn't have drawn the cock if you'd wanted to avoid offence. Literally crying with laughter here (no sarcasm guarantee).

It always goes down like this. Someone has a row with me in the manner of one of them young tearaways from Home & Away, and just like Pippa and Mike(?), I sort 'em out. After a while they become reformed forum citizens.

I gave a frank estimation of my time, Chapel End Charlie - but it's irrelevant - I'll happily admit to being willing to spend more than 30 minutes on a skit like this, even on you. Just didn't do so on this occasion.

I'm quite aware that in your little world, you probably think this was a canvas hand-delivered by auto-gyro from Geneva, then painstakingly put together by artisan craftsmen, scribed using calligraphers from the local monastery, before finally being delivered to me via a top-hatted man on a penny farthing. In reality, it took me about a minute to find an appropriate "Charlie Says" image, about 6 minutes of dicking about in Paint.NET, 1 minute upload and 1 minute posting it. That's not even ten minutes of my time. Besides, like L'Oreal*, you're worth it. * It's a shampoo. A bit like Vosene.

I think we need pictures of forum members in their replica Saints shirts. That would be awesome. The ladies could judge.

I suspect that much like Robin Cook, John Smith wouldn't have touched Iraq with a bargepole.

The Champions League is just a stepping stone to the Intergalactic Cup. We'll sh!t the lot of these Earth-based teams and become a superluminal footballing force. The entire planet will be renamed Southampton FC in our honour.

A small debate ensued with ms pap and I yesterday. I said pretty much the same thing about Blair.

The rules according to two of my mates:- Mate 1: Wearing a shirt to away games is expected, but not at home games. Mate 2: Wearing a shirt to away games is wrong. "The only people who wear shirts to home games are kids and nonces" I do not necessarily agree with the above sentiments.

Thanks for the share, Jonnyboy. That was a good read.

Despite everything, this country is still the one I love the most. However, the main thrust of that article is the Social Progress Index, and your main point lies in Britain being a technically advanced country. There are better places to live in terms of quality of life and opportunity. There are countries that have technological showpieces that make us look like shire horse exhibitors at a village fair. There are also countries where people have more of an influence in the direction of their country. I cannot deny that Britain has been a good package for me, but then I was lucky enough to be handed down a decent brain, born in a time when the cost of higher education was low enough not to be prohibitive and began my career at a time when I was competing with fellow Britons, not the assembled masses of Eastern Europe ( or in my career case, India ). That all said, just as you'd probably acknowledge you had an easier time than me ( just because of your age and benefits at the time ), I have to acknowledge that the current generation have even fewer opportunities than I did - and that long-term, governments are doing little to replace the jobs that have been gutted from the economy.