Johnny Bognor

There are loads of these on the Internet, it surprised me that it took so long for someone to come out with a Lowe version. Well played GM. For anyone that wants a go, you can downlaod this version without subtitles, here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnnpk52fb1c&feature=related Then in Windows movie maker, you can add your own. Bingo

Nope, it's defintely Nineteen Canteen. :smt032:smt032:smt032:smt032:smt032

Watched the crime programme with Nick Ross the other night - it was about Tony Martin and defending your home. At the end of the programme, they said that if you kill an intruder in Texas, they give you $5000.

A lot less time than it took you to come up with that witty response

I've clearly got too much time on my hands

....any truth in this??? http://joesaward.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/a-random-rumour-about-renault-f1/

...or stealing handbags and mobile phones

The same could be said about BWP

Why do I feel out of touch going for a Blackberry??? In terms of corporate email compatibility, is the Blackerry the muts nuts?

What on earth are you on about? I went to Thailand once with my missus when passing through. Only saw the inside of the Bangkok Shangri La. Anyway, only perves go to Thailand on their own. EDIT: ah, you are connecting me with Mr Parhars??? LMAO, you are way off the mark. You're not very guided when it comes to missiles are you?

ESB and BTF, you can work more than 48 hours in a week. As an individual you can opt out too (http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkingHoursAndTimeOff/DG_10029426) The rule relates to the average working week over a 17 week period. Therefore you could work 816 hours over 17 weeks in the following ways. 1. 48 hours a week for 17 weeks 2. 96 hours a week for 8.5 weeks, with 8.5 weeks off 3. 72 hours a week for 6 weeks, followed by 35 hours a week for 11 weeks So it has nothing to do with Health & Safety, especially as you can opt out if you so choose. This piece of genius legislation is purely designed to hold back the EU economy in some false belief that we can somehow compete with the Asia and US economies by tying up our respective employers in knots.

I know this is childish, but did you marry a virgin??? "Hey everybody, I drive a XXXXX. Did I mention how great my XXXX is. My drive, which happens to be a XXXXX is a superior drive, but my XXXX is so great, that even BMW drivers bow down and pay homage and I am not going to tell you what it is." Is this not attention seeking to the level, perhaps, where you would be too up your own arse to drive a BMW? Mods, can we have a poll on what 19C drives? I am sure he won't mind as it will give him the attention that he so craves. The attention that he didn't get when he had a BMW. Lets start with the brand (remember it needs to be perceived as a car that is greater than a BMW 5 series): 1. BMW (6 and 7 series only, M3 too) 2. Mercedes (Not A, B, C class or SLK) 3. Audi (Any of the RS tipos) 4. Porsche (911s or Carrera GTs only) 5. Jaguar (XF is on a par I suppose) 6. Ferrari (Any, obviously) 7. Lambourghini (Any, obviously) 8. Maserati (Any, obviously) 9. Bugatti (Veron, obviously) 10. Pagani (Zonda, obviously) 11. Bentley (Any, obviously) 12. Rolls Royce (Any, obviously) 13. Mobiky (Genius model has a push along feature that make handling easy. Folds away in 3 seconds and at £399 you can buy them here http://www.bicycles4u.com/index.php?bike=46) 14. Aston Martin 15. A Bus Have I missed anything?

OK, we're getting somewhere now. So having driven/owned these cars, they are not bad in their own right as machines in your opinion? As for cars creating w*****s, then I suppose I agree to some extent, but don't all performance cars do this? Performance cars (whatever the marque) will be driven fast and agressively. I'm not saying it is right, just the way it is. As it happens, I get my kicks on the track, so don't have to drive like a bellend to prove a point. I have never been a mug in terms of main dealers and in fact i brag about how little I spend as opposed to how much. My current car was purchased from an indepenent for £4k less than the dealer forecourt price. For tyres, I buy independently at half the price (see tyreshopper.co.uk or blackcircles.com), MOT done by local garage and as for servicing, I would simply do the minimum to get the stamp in the book and keep the warranty going. Once giving up on the warranty, I would go to my local trusted garage for a stamp in the book. If you allowed yourself to be taken in by the dealers, then perhaps this explains the way you feel.

If you really want to do it in style, then cycle. Bloody good excercise if you ask me. If you do it on a shopping bike, then you can fold it up and carry it around with you when you get there.

As it happens, my last purchase was from an independent, so I haven't spoken to a BMW sales person for the best part of 10 years. Judging by your posts, however, you seem to have spent a lot of time in BMW and Audi showrooms talking to sales staff. Are you a tyrekicker, dreamer or someone who aspires? For someone who detests these marques and what they stand for so much, what were you doing in those showrooms in the firstplace? Do you work in one by any chance or were you refused finance? Oh, come on, for one minute, forget the driver and look at the car. The A5 looks good and you know it. It's not my cup of tea, but I can still appreciate the way it looks. I also like the new baby Alfa (MiTo) and the new Fiat 500, both look cool, but it doesn't mean I will go and buy one.

OK, fair enough, it just sounded like a small amateurish outfit. As it happens, it sounds like a medium to large size amateurish outfit. I understand how you feel and you have every right to feel agreived. You will of course be legally entitled to do something about it, but bear in mind that if he is as bad as you say he is and you "force" him to change, then "your card will be marked", just human nature I'm afraid. Have you talked to other members of staff to see how they feel so that this can be done collectively?

If you have more than 5 employees you have to have a stakeholder pension scheme in place which allows employees to contribute. You're right about Stat Sick pay, however this only kicks in after 3 working days which means most people who throw sickies get **** all http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Illorinjured/DG_10018786 Here is as concise an overview as you are going to get.... http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/index.htm My view is, rather than challenge a crap employer, leave and take your services elsewhere.

Exactly, what's your beef? Do you have one or are you just trying to pick a fight with your employer?

Show me a truly independent and successful car manufacturer (not government funded or part of some unholy alliance like VAG + Lambo????)...........like BMW????? I think the aspirationals are moving / have moved to Audi and that is to do with styling. BMW had the edge on styling in the early 1990's to late 1990's. Mercedes took up the mantra from early to mid 2000's (the SL is a seriously good looking car) and for now Audi make the best looking cars. I still think they are way off in terms of quality, but in terms of drivability that A4 Quattro Avant sticks to the road like **** to a stick. So 19C, as for Audi making some of the best looking cars (and I don't own one), don't you think (taking the envy specs and jealous contact lenses off)(oh, and removing the badge) that the A5 is one truly stunning looking car????? IMO, the A5 is one of the best looking modern cars on the road (when looking at the car, not the driver)

Like a Yaris, for example?

There is definately brand jealousy involved. BMW and now Audi have deliberately targeted the aspiring type - Merc have tried, but you still need to get your pension lump sum before you buy one (perhaps this is what ex BMW and ex Audi drivers end up in). In answer to your question, it sounds better saying "I own a BMW " than it does "I own a VW", irrepsective of the fact the the 1 series is crap and the Golf is better...... if you are that way inclined. BMW don't give a stuff about the anti-BMW brigade as these people, by their very nature, are not aspirational and will therefore NEVER buy into their brand - in the same way a vegetarian won't buy into meat. You must drive a Toyota Avensis...... as in the advert where the owner's passengers are bragging about their achievements, whilst the Avensis driver sits quietly and simply answers "I didn't" (when asked if he had said what he did). Yes, new BMW's are expensive to own and run, but second hand / older cars represent excellent value for money. So come on 19C, give some examples of cars that are what you would consider to be "a little less look at me and more that was me and thank you for getting out of my way now you've stopped weaving in out of the traffic".

They will be part of DHL within a few years, buy RM shares now

Seriously, it boils down to this...... http://www.businesscar.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=4057&sectioncode=4 The 5 series pretty much has had a clean sweep and has been lauded as the best executive car of the last decade. BMW is often the car to beat in the categories in which it competes (especially the mid-size to larger car categories). Therefore it is perceived to be one of the best - an image which is only encouraged by the motoring press (Clarkson & Co included). Aspirational people want the best they can afford (or not, if it is on HP). Therefore, your aspirational types want to buy them, lots of them. If it wasn't the best, they would buy something else and then this "something else" car would be the choice of the aspirational type driver. So, surely your beef is with aspirational people and their collective behaviour, rather than their drive? Your Bum Chum wrote this rather interesting article, entitled: People make assumptions about BMW drivers – as they do about choirboys. But they are wrong, writes James May http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/columnists/2749504/James-May-Frocks-make-a-boy-a-man.html Cough, cough (clears my throat) ....... Jesu, joy of man's desiring Holy wisdom, love most bright Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring Soar to uncreated light

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1530675/The-worst-drivers-own-BMWs.html Indeed, you are not alone in this, but I did like this bit: “The BMW is a smug car and perhaps there is some envy towards the drivers from those of us in our Fiestas." So, how much of this "proof" is down to facts and how much is down to the old green eyed monster?

http://mr2.com/ARTICLE/Mobil1.html Depends on the car and how it has been treated in terms of service history. If there are full service receipts (not just stamps in the book) then surely this would suggest the wear is minimised.