trousers

I've just checked the script and, yes, Alcaraz does end up scoring for them (on 78 minutes to be precise)

We did a shot!!!

👆this

Nearly 60 minutes played and not one of these disgraceful players subbed. Baffling.

2-0 down and we're strolling around the back as if we're 2-0 up.

And now our defenders are taking eachother out...

Aribo 😂😂

He gets plenty of bites though, which is the aim of course...

Not in the squad....

No subs at half time? What the actual f***?!

When's your new album coming out Stevie?

No-one would spot the difference compared with the first half...

House!

And a pair of binoculars...

What would be the point of bringing on a centre forward given we don't have any desire nor ability to get the ball past the half way line...?

If the laws of the game allowed it, I'd take off all 11 players at half time and replace them with 5 subs. Couldn't do any worse.

FFS Ramsdale

Not sure we'd get away with bringing on a player who's not in the match day squad...?

F*** me... Why hasn't Rusk made several subs yet, given the players currently on the park have no intention whatsoever of getting out of neutral gear...?

If I was the post-match interviewer my first question to Rusk would be: "I assume the players won't be getting paid for today, given they couldn't be arsed to turn up?"

Whilst Everton will obviously be delighted with a win, I wonder if they'd have preferred a more entertaining / competitive encounter for the last ever game at Goodison...?

I wonder if they got 3 days off again, like they did before the Man City game...?

Why the f*** did Welington kick that off for a corner...?!

Everton taking the piss now by turning it into a Coleman mini-testimonial. Come on Saints... Start pissing on their bonfire!