Whitey Grandad

Is anyone allowed to do that on live TV?

It’s the cost of the elections. Plus we make a lot of money out of the Crown Estates in exchange for the Civil List.

He’s a lot cheaper than having a President. Anyway, how do you know that ‘most don’t want’ a king?

No they are not. They are interpretive. I’ve posted before about how these figures are achieved. They are produced for the Far Eastern betting market yet somehow some people seem to think that they are definitive. Try looking up their definition especially about how many shots are excluded. As a further point, there was an instance in a recent home game where an opponent was clear through on goal and Bazunu came out to the edge of his area to close down the angles. The opponent’s shot went wide of goal and Bazunu never touched the ball. Yet he had prevented a goal. Where does that figure in any ‘statistics’?

No. It doesn’t mean that at all and this is where you have gone wrong. In terms of goals conceded Peter Shilton has let in more.

Those are actual results, facts if you like. Statistics are something completely different. Statistics are open to interpretation, more properly called inferential statistics. Numbers in themselves are ok. It’s when someone tries to read something beyond their intrinsic data that they will go wrong. Anything such as shots on target, expected goals, saves ratio, are inherently random and subjective. They are collected for the purposes of betting and as such they have to be random or the betting companies would lose money through them.

I’m guessing you were unsuccessful at pulling it out?

Eh? That’s not a ‘fact’

Those aren’t statistics.

You cannot possibly compare last season with this. We’re now in a different league, don’t you know.

No There you go again, going on about statistics. You can go and worship at the altar that is football statistics if you wish, but they have nothing to do with anything that ever happens in real life. You’ll find that chicken entrails or tea leaves will not be any worse.

That’s simply not true. It’s all in your distorted prejudice.

“Nothing beats a settled team”

We do that with every starting line up.

Bugger. That must take six weeks or more.

But if the opposition doesn’t take the bait then you’re wasting everybody’s time. And if heaven forbid they snatch or fluke a goal then they’re just going to sit back, relax and smile at you.

We can show you one that rarely works.

There’s hope for me yet.

No. And no. It’s not keeping possession that makes susceptible teams so effective. It’s more that they have better players. A common feature is good teams is a lightning fast counter attack.

I’ve news for you. It doesn’t work.

Not a wind up at all. These ‘professionals’ cheat all the time at throwing themselves to the ground. Stoke lad runs across Bedders and slows down to create a collision. Players cheat. It’s only one arm, not two, and it is not holding the player. Not a sensible thing to do, mind you, and probably unnecessary. If you think it’s a penalty then you have been conned.

Please don’t try to insult me. Benarek’s left arm is not in use. His right hand is open palmed and flat across the player’s chest. Whether that was enough to count as ‘holding’ I wouldn’t agree. Is that player held back by Bednarek? Clearly not. As soon as the player feels the contact he stops running and trails both legs behind himself thus initiating his fall. This is a common ploy by professionals who use it all the time to try to engineer a penalty. Some of them are very good at it which is not surprising when they practise it all week. I watched the replays of the incident again and they all confirm my view. The referee at the game felt the same way too, but there again he sees this sort of gamesmanship all the time.

No he didn’t. You have been fooled by the attacker throwing himself to the ground as soon as he felt an arm touch him. There are multiple signs there if you know what you’re looking at.

Nowhere near it, and the referee agreed.