Whitey Grandad

Indeed so. It hasn't worked out here for him but we gave it a go.

I found one a few days ago. But like all the others it was so full of random numbers that it was meaningless.

Thanks for the compliment. These days you have to take what you can. He's only "utter shite" in the eyes of a certain selection. A minority selection come to that. I read through some reports of the Middlesbrough game and Bazunu wasn't mentioned once other than in "our poor defending".

Because the tables that you and your accolytes quote are those that you have selected. Other tables are available. And different.

Er... no he wasn't. You and others have decided that he was. But he wasn't. You're too hooked on figures and ratios. When any team is thrashed 4-0 it's never one player's fault.

They just don't mean anything. They are randomly invented. We can only speculate as to the purpose behind the anonymous entities that generate them. If they were genuine (hint: they aren't) then there would be more information about the deviation and confidence interval in the results.

Our defenders are brilliant at finding space.

When I say "up my arse" the needles actually went in through my perineum. They shoved an ultrasound probe up my rectum in order to monitor the location of the tissue samples. I had a cystoscopy a year ago which whilst not immediately uncomfortable caused my enlarged prostate to bleed profusely and getting home from Basingstoke got quite messy. Good news that your stroke was managed successfully. Keep on breathing and moving!

And there's the problem.

That's my pet hate too. When my bag arrives I give them one warning then grab it and swing it around in a big sweep.

There will always be doubt with offsides. It's a dynamic situation with players going in different directions and a measure of uncertainty as to when the ball is kicked. The offside law was only ever meant to prevent goal hanging. VAR can only eliminate the howlers

If it's that close then it's a toss up and not worth arguing over. If you want to play a game that's more definitive then try Russian Roulette.

That quote is even more stupid than it appears. If you follow that principle then it will permanently be broken. Oh.

I always find that any local anaesthetic only begins to take effect when they've almost finished the procedure. I found that digging my thumbnails into my fingers helped to distract me from the pain and discomfort. I wish I'd learnt that when I was younger. Oh, and also don't chew your fingernails. You never know when you might need them.

I feel your pain. I had a prostate biopsy yesterday. Twelve inch needles rammed up your arse over twenty times. Now I know what a pin cushion feels like.

OK, fair enough.

Wasn't Wes Tender the user name for Captain Eric Moody famously as the BA Captain in the "All Four Engines Have Failed" incident?

Nah that's bullshit.

You'll tell us next that he was trying to get out of the way.

"Nothing beats a settled team"

In very close succession. Cause of death, "Boredom"

Is that in your manifesto?

But nobody would talk about you.

To be fair though, there was eff all else in the match that warranted any applause.

What the Bazophobes are overlooking is that any opposition player is allowed an unopposed run into our penalty area whilst our unbalanced defence is all hypnotised by the ball over on our right. That run should have been picked up early and cut out by a left back. Nevertheless it was a good save but one that should not have been necessary.