Tokyo-Saint

CHRISTMAS??? What???!! I'm being short changed here. We are going to have a very frank discussion tonight.

As always Phil, I switched off about half way through and started day dreaming about going on stag do's and strippers etc (all stored up in the **** bank). I think your main point was that her family are actually ok and like getting wasted and tits and stuff so you'll be fine, right? Anyway, when is the big day? I hope you and sue live a long happy life together over in the Lounge. Best wishes from all us muppets. Love Tokyos

The only way it might count is of you didn't eat the biscuit?

You do know it doesn't count if they are all your mates and a biscuit is involved?

Why would anyone join the police force if you didn't get to kick down a door shouting "this is a raid" now and again? You were just fulfilling a fantasy for someone that never expected to be checking grannies bags on some far away Scotish island when they joined up. Think of it as a public service.

People who bring family on stag do's do so for two reasons 1) they are scared and hope that by bringing along some blood, they will have some protection and someone to unchain them from the front of the imperial palace or whatever, 2) their mrs is scared or suspicious and by sending along her dad and uncle bob at least will have someone to report on your behaviour and if you go up stairs for a dance with some bird that smells of rihanna. Hope this helps Phil, have a good time.

Stops her moaning about getting married and allows her to move on to moaning about all new topics. You do get a holiday out of it and at least 1 gaurenteed boning.

Where should they be dealt?

You surprise me. What would you say the moral of the story is? Never sh!t in Scotland?

Bear, please confirm?

Well he's paid his money (or his boss has), he can do what he likes I suppose.

Lols why was Bearsy w@nking off an ilk?

Big Macs? What's going on? I leave the forum for a couple of weeks and when I get back the mods have fallen form the glory or curry to the lows of American junk food. Bearsy, I trusted you to run this place in my absence and look what has happened! Bad bear, very bad bear.

Ah cheers MLG. That's a weight off my mind. What is his PA out of interest? Would look it up myself but as I said, I'm away at the moment.

Ah but is his PA above 175? That is the question we should all be asking. Maybe would could have a song about it against chelsea. I'm in Japan at the moment so won't make the game. Can Turkish or Glasgow stand in on my behalf and start this one off?

Is this another Cortese signing or does Adkins play football manager? Can anyone on twitter confirm please?

Is the bottom one the pro that did the 'dance' for Bearsy? She looks like she mIght dance for crack.

I hate batting my hair cut, I hate being nice, the small talk etc. most of all I hate the bit when they say "would you like a head massage?" of course I ****ing do! And do it with your top of this time.

9 points for me. Don't see why I get punished for having an expensive haircut though? Maybe not seeing why is why? Edit, just read its good to have an expensive haircut. Bit hungover at the moment, will have to do this scientific survey when more with it.

They mainly stick to the muppet show as there are less rules. Lambert was Cheese on toast but they banned him. If he moves in Jan it will be chalet fault. He has already started posting on marching on together.

£1.8m signing set to be announced as soon as they get all the pledges in. Pompey way innit. Btw - didn't know bear was a saints fan!

Anyone wanna buy DVD?

Sorry dude! You got anymore wigwam pics? Also pat doesnt understand homes so ...

Why does everything smell like Rihanna now?

Just checked and my bank account has been debited £318 and I didn't even get to bone anyone. They are calling it being bearsied.