hypochondriac

And I haven't been which is why in almost every post I've caveated by explaining that talking and crying is a valid option for some. Not sure how I've dismissed it. It's clearly of value to some.

No. I was facing the family of a young person who had died in horrible circumstances. I rightly reasoned that the funeral wasn't about me upstaging things or making it about melyself in any way. Nothing to do with pride or ego.

But I've never said "all men" have I? Sure for some men they might fancy a chat about their feelings or a cry but I'd wager that's probably the minority and I think it's worth acknowledging that there are other perfectly healthy ways that men cure mental health issues that don't involve chatting or crying.

Depends doesn't it. I'd normally have a quiet cry but I'd probably resist the urge to start bawling my eyes out or wailing. Interesting because I attended a funeral this week and faced that very situation.

Not all men release negative feelings by discussing how they are feeling all the time. Look at boxing for example and the amount of men who have credited it with saving their lives. So yes better to release your emotions, it's just not always necessary to achieve that by talking about them and having a cry.

Men are less likely to express their emotions because they often don't want to share their emotions in the same way that women do. Many men don't want to be lectured about expressing their emotions all the time. They relieve stress and overcome adversity in different ways to women on average.

The only thing I would say is that the reluctance for some men to cry being linked to high rates of male suicide is a load of b*locks in my opinion. If you had a load of blokes weeping at every bit of adversity I'd feel a bit unnerved. Enduring and showing a bit of resilience can in the long run actually be beneficial to mental health because it can equip you with the tools required to endure difficult times. It's just another example of people looking for feminine solutions to a male problem and it's why it's laughable to pretend that male and female mental health is all the same thing and all require the same solutions.

I'll be honest I really didn't care about Ralph crying. The only thing I thought was that it suggested he had a bit of a small time mentality if he got that emotional about something that really wasn't the biggest deal ever.

This is one reason you get people's backs up. You talk with such a degree of certainty about something and you don't imagine there are any shades of grey. Yes it may be the case that professional help was best for you but that doesn't mean that that's the best or only option. You don't get to dismiss the real mental health issues of men by suggesting that the problems for all sexes are the same and that the solutions will be universal for both male and female. That imo is the main problem in the first place and the reason we see the cast disparity between make and female suicide rates. People like you don't want to treat male mental health issues as a specific problem that requires a range of solutions and you don't want to face up to the fact that if men were valued more rather than abused or laughed at that the problem would be lessened. Not sure why I tried to reply to you sensibly as you would think I would have learnt by now.

I did think about that as I typed those words!

Some of its a bit high brow but I thought the idea of viewing the bible as a valuable book of wisdom passed down over a great period of time that contains universal truths to be really interesting and it made me look at Christianity differently. It's certainly a more relatable way to look at things than the idea that most of the stuff described in it ever actually happened.

Absolutely. One thing he has quoted often is about Scandinavia and how the differences between the seces are more pronounced when people are given more choice. No matter how much some people try to pretend that being gender fluid exists and that everything is a social construct we can't deny the differences between the sexes. The attempt to do so is behind many of the mental health issues and the problems in society.

I think his point with rule 4 is about seeking your own self improvement and concentrate on being better than you were yesterday rather than comparing yourself to someone else. His lectures on the bible are very good too,particularly if you're not religious. His view is that the Bible contains universal truths about life and there's deep wisdom in it. Makes you think about it in a completely different way. Like I said earlier has become a bit odd in the last couple of years but he's definitely worth listening to if you want a good think about life and your mental health.

I'm very surprised you haven't heard of him. He shot to super stardom a few years ago and his 12 rules book has been a bestseller and credited with saving a fair amount of lives and straightening people out. You should also watch his long interview with Cathy Newman of Channel 4 infamy if you want a chuckle and a face-palm at the state of news reporting. Recommended.

Going by his posts yesterday I would be suspicious that this poster isn't a fishy friend.

I don't think that's old school, it's reality. It's why shit like 50 shades of grey sold so many copies. It's the kind of thing that everyone knows to be true but it won't be spoken about often because it makes people uncomfortable.

Yes that's my point its about personal responsibility. Some people feel worthless because in a lot of ways they are and you need to put in effort to improve your circumstances in whatever way you can. For many that's going to improve your mental health to a greater degree than sitting around talking about how bad you feel. My other point is worth repeating as well. Men have higher suicide rates not because they won't speak about their feelings in the same way that women do but because they aren't valued by society anywhere near as much as women are. If that was fixed then it would largely solve the issue imo.

Particularly sweet because these are the games where ordinarily we lose and it craps all over the weekend I had planned. I'm going to enjoy this one.

He has some really interesting things to say and has helped a lot of people. I have to say though I was rather put off by his interview last year about his illness and drug addiction and his bizarre daughter. He came across like a bit of a lunatic. I suppose that's what many incredibly intelligent individuals are like.

Agreed. Personally I think a large reason for the high male suicide is that on the whole no one actually gives a toss about men and their lives are valued to a much lesser degree than women (some may say fair enough given that women bring children into the world.) If society decided to actually value men to the same degree as women then I believe male suicide rates would see a significant decrease and that wouldn't be because all men were being told that they had to discuss their feelings with other men every time they feel low. That's not to say that that approach won't work for some men, but a number of them simply don't want it and its not because they've been conditioned by society its because men and women are different biologically.

Just popped back in to say isn't it glorious to get a win on a Friday? All weekend to be able to enjoy any of the rest of the footie knowing we already have our three points. Absolutely superb.

Its early days but I have to say that initial impressions about him prior to playing for us may have been incorrect and I couldn't be happier about that! Seems like a really decent bloke and a half decent footballer.

No you've misunderstood me completely. I'm none of these things by the way-I'm happy to discuss my feelings if required and I've never had any mental health issues. I've never said that only women talk about their problems but it's obvious that women are more willing to discuss feelings all the time and that's not always something that men want to do and that's not necessarily a negative thing. It's not a case of male pride or ego, mens brains are wired differently on average and my point is that talking in depth about feelings is not the universal solution for dealing with any problems that people have of that nature. I know people who have had mental health problems but have never found discussing their feelings all the time to be beneficial and its actually been more detrimental when that's the go to response and they are pressured into doing so. What actually worked for them were other things and I think it's true to say that other approaches can be more effective for some men. A lot of therapeutic approaches are created by women and largely with women in mind, therefore you get a lot of discussion about toxic masculinity and rarely do you get the idea of the benefits of masculinity and taking responsibility for your life (it's why the likes of Jordan Peterson has connected with so many young men regardless of what anyone thinks of him as a person.)

See my season starts now thread to confirm this analysis. I had seen enough from those early games to offer encouragement to suggest we would start picking up some useful points and we've surpassed that so far. It's lazy to suggest we've suddenly got miles better without taking into account the quality of opposition.

It quite clearly did work. We were much more solid after Lyanco and then Diallo came on.