Dark Munster

We didn't say your lot were expecting the playoffs, but you need the playoffs (promotion, actually). It's a case of promotion or bust, with the emphasis now very much on the latter. I'm sure you've read rallyboy's full explanation of why.

In fairness he does have a loan shark breathing down his neck.

Indeed, it's like a pantomime without its villain.

Well, sadly a bad night for both the south coast clubs. Saints suffer a hiccough, 2-0 loss away, but remain in the automatic promotion spot, still with a game in hand. Unfortunately for the Cheats, their 3-0 home defeat and the 6th spot now virtually an impossible dream, this is surely the stake in the heart that finally kills the beast.

Even with Cortese as Chairman?

http://www.sportinglife.com/football/cc_championship/portsmouth/news/story_get.cgi?STORY_NAME=soccer/11/04/09/SOCCER_Portsmouth_2nd_Nightlead.html&TEAMHD=portsmouth&DIV=nat1&TEAM=PORTSMOUTH&RH=Portsmouth&PREV_SEASON=&BID=3533 Stevie-Boy disagrees. After whinging about a disallowed goal, he comes up with these gems: "Before the game I would have thought we needed six out of seven wins, or five wins and a draw and we'd be allowed one more defeat. "So nothing really changes. We are capable of going on those runs because we have done it twice this season. We just need it once more. "But really this season is amazing. We're sat here with 40 games on the board and I'm still being asked about the play-offs. I think it has been a marvellous achievement by everybody at the football club." Atta boy Steve! Keeping the few's hopes up, prolonging their agony. Although I suspect his remarks are more directed at Chinny, who is probably fuming that his expensively assembled squad isn't going to give him the return on his investment, as Stevie-Boy and Lumpitt probably promised him at the beginning of the season. What is again that loan sharks do to you if you squander their money and can't repay?

Ready for the playoffs, maybe?

If you think the hope is killing us, how about the blue few down the road? I can't imagine the agony they are going through at the moment, knowing that if they don't go up their loan shark owner will probably pull the plug, and their club could well fold. Even though they've cheated left, right and centre, and are a cesspit of a club with the morals of an alley cat, in a way you do have to feel sorry for them. NOT.

I agree. Getting rid of Luggy (1.3 points per game) and replacing him with that buffoon Wigley was a disastrous mistake.

See, I warned you.

Don't forget their wild card: promotion. They're not mathematically out of it yet, so some exciting games remain for the Cheats. With the very existence of the club probably hinging on promotion, you can't say it's going to be boring for the few for the next month or so. More like the ultimate squeaky bum time. Still keeping my fingers crossed that Stevie boy's "paper thin" squad can keep the few's hopes alive for as long as possible.

Careful, you might wake Dalek up.

Possibly. If Plymouth go bust before the end of the season, and all their results are expunged, then Brighton will lose 6 points (and Saints will lose none). That, coupled with a Saints win at the Withdean, would make it interesting. Otherwise, no.

But not necessarily a full refund? Perhaps they consider 1p in the pound as a refund.

It's just like the fun kid's game of pass the parcel. Except that this parcel is full of shit.

I remember Man City's last ever game at Maine Rd was against the Saints. They had nothing else to play for and duly rolled over (1-0 to the Saints).

I think this could well be close to the mark why that's true ....

Don't forget an extra 3 point deduction for each team for fielding ineligible players.

I think that sums it up rather nicely.

I don't think Chinny's going to make that mistake again. Plan B is probably coming up soon, and I'd pay good money to see the look on TCWTB's face when it does (which would be the only time I would want to see TCWTB's face).

Go Nucks!

Good points, ta. Reading and Forest are both on 60 points, but Forest (like the Cheats) have 7 games left (not 5 as I incorrectly stated), with Reading having 8 left. Still, the Cheats are 6 points behind both of them so they do need at least 8 points more than both (taking into account Reading's superior g.d.) Looking grim indeed for the few. Rallyboy said that Saturday's defeat meant a wheel fell off. I think it's more like 2 fell off, with another one wobbling badly. Which makes them look like some dilapidated car that's been a victim of **** Dastardly, bringing up the rear in Wacky Races.

Shouldn't we cross that bridge when we get to it?

If they'd won yesterday they would have been one of 4 clubs on 57 points, three behind the team in 6th. Still perilous, but not impossible by any means. But now, with 5 matches left, they have to get 7 more points than Reading in 6th place (who have a game in hand). Not to mention more points than the 6 teams immediately above them. All for a 1/4 shot at saving the club. It's going to be a nail biting finish for the Cheats. Let's wish them luck that they can get enough points in the next few games to get close. Agonisingly, painfully, heartbreakingly close.