Dark Munster

We'll forgive you this time, but don't let it happen again.

Or trousering 80% from any transfer fees.

Or insist Wigley be appointed manager instead of Glenda?

Either that, or they have judiciously handed out a number of stuffed brown envelopes.

I wouldn't be surprised if Chinny does indeed plan to hang around long enough to trouser as much of the parachute payments as possible. But those payments will still get paid even if he flogs off as much as he can, funds only nippers and Pulis-level rejects on £100 per week, and the Cheats suffer 4 successive relegations.

"Portsmouth manager Steve Cotterill could have just 13 outfield players available for this weekend's clash with Leeds." Well Steve, that may have worked to get breaks from morons such as InJustice Mann and even the FL, but I doubt if BC is stupid enough to fall for that ploy.

Very true. But the question is, does Chinny continue with his gamble or cut his losses now? The Cheats have to overtake 12 other teams to claim the final playoff spot, and even then it's only a 1/4 chance for the big prize. So generously assuming a 1/12 chance of finishing in the top 6 (they can forget about the top 2), that gives BC about a 1/48 long shot with his Lawrence/Kitson etc. high-wage gamble. I bet he now wishes he'd simply taken the millions he's squandered in a vain attempt to keep the Cheats competitive and instead plonked it on number 36 of a roulette wheel.

Well, if they can keep this up it may convince BC that his gamble has failed, giving him a chance to pull the plug and offload as many players as possible before the transfer window closes.

Yes, but didn't Saints also fail to score in 5 matches that AL missed earlier in the season? That's what makes this worrying.

12 points away from the lottery of the playoffs. 12 points away from a 25% chance of avoiding liquidation. And with suspensions and injuries impacting their overpaid "paper thin" squad. Oh what a dilemma for the loan shark owner. Does he continue to throw dodgy money after bad?

No Lallana = No goals.

If this thread occasionally begins to flag, while we wait for the inevitable spectacular Cheats FC collapse, we can always rely on good old Corpse Whore to give it a new lease of life. Bless her.

With the Android in charge anything (dodgy) is possible.

Herbie vs. TCWTB. I think that sums up the difference between the two clubs perfectly.

Any trophies won more than fifty years ago by a pub-level team doesn't count. Any trophy won by cheating also doesn't count. So the current major trophy score is Saints 1 Cheats 0.

How about this one? Or is it too obvious? http://tinyurl.com/cheating-lying-bastards

"Your chance to own a piece of Nottarf Krap ... From as little as £50" £50 would be a bad investment at the best of times. But it'll be flushing it down the toilet once the bulldozers come in. And a big LOL at SC and the P*******th News trying to convince BC to loosen the pursestrings to bolster their "paper thin" squad. Listen chaps, he's already funding huge wages in a gamble to go up, and you'll only be able to convince BC to dump even more money in if you can guarantee promotion, so that he can recoup it (with considerable interest) later. And by guarantee, that probably means signing a contract in blood.

Yes, he neglected to mention Seaborne's 2 assists on the Saint's goals.

As much as I would love to blame manure, the money from that tie was not the reason. Saints only missed the 10 point carry-over deadline by a few days. Lowe could have easily put us in administration before that deadline, but (IMHO) didn't purely out of spite: Mark Fry let him know that he (Lowe) was not to be involved in the club after the impending administration. And the b.s. about only putting the parent company into administration to avoid the points penalty for the club was just a way for the ruddy-cheeked one to cover his spiteful tracks. I'm certain he knew damned well that wasn't going to work.

So you're saying they're f**ked?

I like those words.

This.

But surely simply not getting promoted would be the end of them? Can't see BC wasting any more money on wages next season in another futile attempt to go up. I'd expect the best the few could hope for is that he'll keep them on life support until the parachute payments dry up. It's such a shame.

I thought first place was rightfully ours?

I think they ought to appeal the red card for an unlucky right hook on an opposing player, squeeze one more game out of him while the appeal is laughed at, and then send him packing back to Stoke to pay his wages (with heartfelt thanks) for the 10 game suspension he'll get for appealing the GBH. After all, they'll need every penny now that their superstar Ben-Haim has returned. Shame they can't cheat their way to Wembley this year. Never mind Cheats, there's always next year ... if you exist, of course.