Dark Munster

Well that's the propaganda the Cheats keep spouting, but it looks fairly solid to me. Plus BC could bring in a few more loans in the Window if he thinks the gamble may pay off. CVA be damned of course if it goes tits up. An owner who cared for the future of the club would avoid yet another administration at all costs, considering the FL would throw the kitchen sink at them if they did. Unfortunately for the phew they don't have such an owner.

Sulaiman al-Fahim, the former Portsmouth chairman, will ask his legal advisers to write to the club for clarification regarding the 10% share he retains from his previous ownership. It is thought that this share is represented by the £5m he is owed by the club. If so, as an unsecured creditor, he may receive around £1m over the next five years under the terms of the Company Voluntary Arrangement with which Portsmouth emerged from administration. Hands up those who think the Ice Cream Doctor actually invested £5m in the club? Do I hear £4m? £3m? £2m? £1m?

Whilst relegation would be hilarious, I'd happily settle for them simply not to go up. Surely that would be enough for BC to pull the plug and asset strip all he can. I can't see him funding Lawrence, Nugent, Kitson et. al. for another season. Squeaky bum time for the blue phew.

Tick tock .....

Ah, but it was the PL who sanctioned Al-Mirage. Also, the FL are more trigger happy with the points deductions (or at least they were). 4) MaWhiney retiring at just the right time. It all looks like a pact with the devil type situation, doesn't it? Here's hoping!

“Richards could find nothing wrong with Al Faraj.” Shouldn't that be "Richards could not find Al Faraj"? I'm sure the PL were confident that they'd seen the last of the Cheats for a long time. So I wonder how they'll feel if Cheats FC somehow achieve promotion this season? I suspect the PL will be begging the FL to dock them enough points at the 11th hour to prevent them sleazing their way back up. Being owned by Al Mirage, along with the shady "loans" purported to have been made to him, not to mention the unlicensed agents and the charges against Storrie-teller and co., should be worth -50 points at least, I'd have thought.

... or received a nicely padded brown envelope or two?

I'm not sure how common a name "Ali Al Faraj" is in the Middle East, but if it's not that common you would've thought they'd have chosen the Arabic equivalent of "John Smith". "Mohammad Haddad" maybe?

Yes, but he could be lying. Shocking as it may sound, one or two characters from Cheats FC have been rumoured to have done so. He wouldn't be funding Lawrence and co.'s wages if he weren't going for the big prize. The remaining parachute payments (along with stripping everything bare) is the consolation prize if the gamble fails, and even in that scenario I reckon he'll come out ahead.

But apart from that, everything is fine and dandy in Cheatsville.

Still bitter after the JPT final, I see.

Nice report. Ta. And don't worry, we've got plenty of Gavin Wards in our shit division.

This.

If they don't go up, he'll probably flog as much of the squad as he can, and then take them into administration. Again. 50 points penalty from the FL for the umpteenth administration? Demotion to the Blue Square (or lower)? Who cares? Well, the blue phew will care, but not BC. I'm sure he has his loans secured against the remaining parachute payments, as well as any other tangible assets. Of course, if the gamble pays off and they go up, he's laughing all the way to the bank.

Beautiful. Talk about poetic justice!

Which further proves that they are cheating, lying bastards.

If only that rosy-cheeked bastard had put us into administration a few days earlier.

In fairness, if they were to charge 50p per flush, according to rallboy's estimates they would only need about 1.5 billion dumps to break even.

Very true. I'm going to stick my neck out here, and probably get a lot of abuse for saying it, but I reckon he'll be back in the treatment room soon.

Apart from Marians, you mean.

"Former gaffer Smith reckons Pompey's failure to build a new ground is the REAL reason for their dodgy finances." So it has nothing to do with Storrie-Teller, The Ice Cream Dr., Al Mirage, Son of Gun Runner, Saggy Chops, BC and his sidekick the Android, and scores of footballers being paid wages that Cheats FC couldn't afford even if at half the amount? Instead, the only reason for their dodgy finances is not building this?

Yes we did. But after the FA's "head of football integrity" was hired as the new chief executive of Cheats FC (while in administration), nothing surprises us anymore. Plenty of those have been offered by Cheats FC to key personnel in the FA, PL and FL, I'd wager.

Yes, but what if our strong players pick up injuries or suspensions? I agree Saints shouldn't send out a reserve team, but a few players rested wouldn't hurt. One thing seems unanimous though: Bart must play.

In God's name, why? Cheats FC currently have a stronger team, thanks to paying wages for players they can't afford. Wait until they implode next year, then we can give them a jolly good rogering.